Hard, Soft, Satisfied
Tuesday was my scheduled orgasm. Mrs. Lion came through with amazing fun for me. I was teased, sucked, and finally ridden to orgasm. It was wonderful. Wednesday is a very mellow, satisfied day for me. My next release date is October 9, not too far off. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful wife and keyholder. Our chastity experience has provided us with great opportunities to get closer and wake up our dormant sex life.
Before the main event, we tried to make a new clone of my penis. Some very nice work from Mrs. Lion got me to my fully erect size. She then set to work mixing the molding compound, Something wasn’t quite right. It didn’t thicken the way it did the last time. She poured it in the mold and in I went. It just didn’t harden very much. We either didn’t mix the compound long enough or when I measured the water, I used too much. We ordered some more molding compound. When it comes, we will try again. After these molding adventures, I have a new respect for male porn actors. Maintaining a full erection on demand isn’t easy. I’m glad I don’t have to be a penis model for a living.
I write my posts the day before you see them. It’s Wednesday now and I am feeling very nice with no pressure to come again. My post yesterday (Tuesday) suggested a way to help take the pressure off Mrs. Lion. Short of not talking about ideas that might work for me, we can relegate my ideas to a “wish list” which clearly says I don’t expect Mrs. Lion to jump in and do those things. When I do mention things, my intention is not to script how Mrs. Lion manages me, but rather reveal what I think might work. It feels to me that we are getting more comfortable with my enforced chastity. I hope that Mrs. Lion is more comfortable in her role. as my keyholder. Her comfort is the most important area we have for improvement.
The Good Lion
Lion has been very busy at work. Each morning I wait for his required message and I wonder if he’ll exceed his time limit. Technically, if he just does a quick text message with KISS on it he would meet the expectation. But my Lion always comes through with a much better message than that. No matter how busy he is, he always finds time to tell me how much he loves me. I’m a very lucky girl.
In addition to that, Lion has still been making dinner more often than I do. Even when I decide what we’ll have, he swoops in and makes it. He’s a much better cook than I am, but I don’t want him to feel that he has to cook that often. I don’t think he’s been doing it to receive another Good Lion coupon. Given the reaction he had to the last one, I’m not sure he’d welcome another one. Since using it he has not had a very long wait time at all. I’ve been very generous with my bonus orgasms. And his next wait time, nine days, isn’t long enough to make him very grumpy. I think he’s been cooking a lot because we keep thinking of all the wonderful things he makes and we want them. Once we decide on one of his recipes that I can make I’ll jump in.
This morning I decided Lion will get a reward for his messages and for cooking. I haven’t quite decided what that reward will be. The trick is to find something that doesn’t make him feel that he’s topping from the bottom. When I give him a coupon it’s because I want him to decide when to use it. This has been a sticking point in the past. Maybe I will just have to decide that on X date he will get X reward.
It may seem silly to reward him for things he’s supposed to be doing. I just want him to know I appreciate everything he does, whether it’s a big thing or not. Taking the garbage out, laundry, etc. are all necessary things and it’s nice to be appreciated for it.
Shopping Cart or Wish List
A recurring theme with Mrs. Lion and I, as well as with other keyholders and caged males. is that Mrs. Lion frequently feels she is failing because she thinks she isn’t meeting my expectations. I cause this problem because here and when we talk, I let her know what I think might work for me. Some of our readers see this as topping from the bottom. Mrs. Lion has communicated that this makes her feel she is not being a a good keyholder. I’ve asked her if she would prefer I not discuss my ideas with her. She said she wants me to keep saying what I think works for me. She, being a sweet, loving wife wants me to be happy and apparently perceives any wishes I make as things she has to do. I can see how she would feel overwhelmed.
Part of the problem is that I share so much here in our blog. Mrs. Lion and I read everything we write. We both react strongly to what the other says. We want to make each other happy. So, when I read that Mrs. Lion feels she is failing, that is a very big deal to me.
First, to put things in perspective, our chastity/sexual activities occupy a very small slice of our time. We work, cook, talk, watch TV, and do all the other stuff couples normally do. Our chastity / sex time is under an hour a day. In fact, half of the time there isn’t even that.
What creates the problem, I think, is that Mrs. Lion knows that I have always had these feelings. We have also drifted apart sexually since, as you might have read, our communication was not very good and we each misinterpreted the other’s interest. Since I have been caged, our communication has improved dramatically. But I think I am making a classic mistake.
I’ve been writing about ways I think I can better be managed. I’ve seen this as just my trying to communicate how my kinks work. I haven’t expected Mrs. Lion to create to a big to-do list with each thing I mention. As she sees this list grow, she sees more and more things she isn’t doing. Not surprisingly, she feels overwhelmed. So what do we do?
This isn’t an easy question. The simplest solution is for me to stop talking about what I think would work for me. Mrs. Lion rejected that suggestion. It also would give me a lot less to write about. I suppose Mrs. Lion could stop reading my posts, but that would close a useful communication channel. She seems unable to just make a note and go on with whatever she plans on doing with me. The reason for this, I think, is that she is doing all this out of love for me, not a desire of her own to have sexual power over me. So, it stands to reason that the best source of information on how to control me would be me.
Over time, I think this will change. Mrs. Lion will learn what works for her in context of my chastity and her sexual control. But in the short term that won’t happen. She needs to develop more self confidence in order to feel good about disregarding my ideas.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Am I being greedy and wanting every fantasy I have had to come to life? Is that the issue? Am I over sharing? I don’t expect everything I write or speak about to happen. I’ve thought about this a lot. What to me are ideas that might be fun or effective in our power exchange, become items in the Lion shopping cart that Mrs. Lion is expected to provide. However, I consider them items in my wish list.
My suggestion is that we formalize the lion shopping cart and wish list. Everything that I talk about that I might like belong in my wish list. Like any wish list, it means that those are thing I might like someday. But they aren’t things I expect. In our chastity e-commerce site, Mrs. Lion can move items from my wish list to the lion shopping cart. Once there, she can “check out” items she wants to try. I will even formalize it so that there is no ambiguity.
Mrs. Lion shouldn’t feel that she has to do everything I suggest. She doesn’t need to feel like a failure if she doesn’t. I am just offering ideas, sometimes adding things to my wish list. Maybe she can go into that list and decide to “buy” something out of it for my birthday or another holiday. In any case, it is only intended to be information, not expectations.
Back to Basics
For the most part, Lion’s cage has been the rebirth of our sex life. I’ve been playing with him more. He’s had more attention in the past nine months than he has in years. Despite being locked away most of the time, he’s had more orgasms. Although I’m not consistent, he’s had more punishment and certainly more rewards. Despite that, we were missing something. We always hold hands, but we had stopped snuggling. I think somehow the cage became a barrier in that respect too. Maybe, as the bottom, he was afraid to encroach. Maybe, as the top, I thought he got enough attention from me. I don’t know. But the other night I decided to snuggle a bit. And then yesterday we talked about it and realized we were both missing it.
I think I’ve been caught up in the whole what-am-I-supposed-to-do as a top and forgot that, first and foremost, we are lovers. It may sound strange, but to me there’s a difference between sex and making love. We’ve been having sex. I think it’s been a long time since we made love. What’s the difference? In my opinion, it’s sex when I play with Lion and then give him an orgasm. Or when he gives me an orgasm. Making love involves snuggling and kissing and making out. Less of an I’m doing it to him vibe and more of a we’re enjoying each other vibe.
So I’m leading a back to basics charge. It doesn’t have to be at odds with his cage or punishment or play. In fact, if we are snuggling more, he may find himself getting more attention. It may not be a spanking, but I’m sure his balls will be happy to be rubbed and fondled even if Mr. Weenie is still caged. And it won’t take the place of playing with him. I know he needs to be tied up and/or spanked from time to time. He’ll still get agreed upon attention. But we’ll both get the closeness we’ve been missing.
Win-win.
