Male Chastity Journal

It seems our roles have been reversed in the Lion’s den lately. Lion is doing more of the household chores and I am the bread winner. We have separate checking accounts for a variety of reasons. When Lion is working he makes about three times what I make, so he usually pays for most things. I give him a portion of my paycheck and I pay for my own bills, gas, etc. Now I have the steady paycheck and many bills are in a holding pattern.

The other day I mentioned how weird it feels to be the one paying for things. Lion immediately said he would pay me back. But it isn’t that I mind paying for things. Our money, while held separately, is shared. Spending the money wasn’t the weird part. I’m just not normally the one who swipes the debit card at the grocery store. Similarly, Lion mentioned last night that he feels like Cinderella since he is doing the laundry, changing the bed, and cooking. I know I’m not the evil stepmother. Maybe I’m the fairy godmother. I grant his chastity and FLM wishes. The difference is that his chariot will not turn into a pumpkin at midnight. We’re not stopping either chastity or FLM. But CinderLion will scale back on his housework once he gets a job.

We had another maintenance spanking last night. Six somewhat hard swats and Lion was able to stay still for them. He said they stung and he felt them for a while afterwards, but nothing like the punishment swats from the other night. I’d hope not. Those swats aren’t meant to correct behavior. They are meant to condition behavior. I’m sure he wished I had forgotten to do them. He did remind me earlier in the day, like a good boy. But after that, it’s up to me to remember. He’s under no obligation to make sure I don’t forget later on.

We’ve also continued with our edging every night. I keep teasing him that he has to wait till the end of the month for an orgasm. We both know that isn’t very likely. It would be his longest wait by far. Neither of us cares to wait that long. We both have fun with the edging, but we’d both have more fun if he had an orgasm. For now, Lion is a frustrated, horny boy. I like that.

It’s always bothered me when chastity fantasies include housework or dressing in female clothing. It bothers me more when women impose this on their submissive males. The reason this gives me so much trouble is what these actions imply. You see, if housework is considered part of the overhead of living rather than a menial task performed by inferior people, there would be no sexual rush in being forced to do it. Similarly, wearing women’s clothing is seen as demeaning, even humiliating for a man. That’s why some guys want to wear panties and other female apparel. It’s humiliating to dress like a girl. Consider why this is the case. If a woman wears men’s clothes, it’s considered cute or sexy. There is nothing humiliating about a woman wearing men’s underwear or other items. The only reason for this difference is that at some level being a woman is considered inferior to being a man. So, a man in a woman’s clothing is seen as humiliated by wearing the garb of an inferior being.

Some men wear women’s clothing because they like how it feels and looks. I’m not including that choice in this discussion. I am referring to the male, submissive fantasies that feature panties, dresses, bras, etc. I have to admit that it is embarrassing for me to think about being made to wear panties. I realize that the only reason I feel that, is my feeling I would be laughed out or ridiculed if seen in them. That’s completely wrong. If Mrs. Lion wore my underwear and was seen, no one would laugh. I see this as a problem I have. I shouldn’t be hypocritical.

The issue with housework is much more serious, I think. Along the line, pretty much everyone buys into the idea that housework is menial duty, or worse, women’s work. That’s why so many males who ask for enforced chastity or FLM describe fantasies where they are made to do all of the housework. Based on my reading, a shockingly large number of keyholders and disciplinary wives also subscribe to this stereotype. The archetypical fantasy has the man surrender sexual control by wearing a chastity device. His keyholder requires his sexual service (what guy doesn’t fantasize about that!), and he is required to cook, clean, and do the laundry. How many blogs can you find where the keyholder requires this of her male?

I do like an element of humiliation in my role as surrendered, chaste male. That’s why I initially suggested diapers and to a much lesser extent, panties to Mrs. Lion. I never considered housework in that respect. The reason for that is that we have always handled cleaning, laundry, cooking, shopping, etc. as necessary overhead and we share it based on available time and energy. I would have been incredibly upset if Mrs. Lion demanded I do it all. Partly, it’s because I would feel it is unfair, but more importantly it would make something I consider an important part of our partnership and turn it into a menial, servant function I would perform. Besides, lions are horrible at cleaning.

If all this seems puzzling, consider cooking. Cooking used to be considered women’s work. Men didn’t do that. But now that’s not even close to reality. Thanks, I think, to wider use of restaurants, cooking shows on TV, and increased status of professional chefs, guys consider cooking a very worthy pursuit in and out of the home. I’ve loved to cook for decades. I am not in the least feminine. I’m also a very good cook. Mrs. Lion says I cook better than her. See? you weren’t shocked that I like to cook? What if I said I love ironing? You probably would roll your eyes, or maybe even snicker. For the record, we both hate to iron.

I think that buying into the idea that any domestic activity other than childbirth belongs to one sex or the other is a terrible mistake. When a keyholder treats making her male do housework as a submissive act, she is making the feminine mistake. This is one fantasy not to feed. I would suggest a new keyholder consider using her power to equitably divide household chores. She can, of course, demand personal services like drawing baths, pedicures, massages, breakfast in bed. Personal services don’t feed the stereotype. This, of course, is up to the people involved. Mrs. Lion isn’t into primping. She is a bit of a tomboy. So, at least up to this point, doesn’t require these services of me. Just as well; she’d be taking her life into her hands asking me to do delicate things for her.

First the news. Last night was punishment night. I had several offenses accumulated over the weekend as well as last night. Mrs. Lion straddled me and hit me with the bloodwood paddle. Each swat hurt more than any other she has done in the past. I couldn’t hold still and managed to squirm away a couple of times. I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to hold still and take my medicine I just couldn’t. I hate the way that spanking hurt. Tonight is maintenance spanking night. Based on my behavior last night, Mrs. Lion will probably give me a repeat performance so I can practice holding still.  Later, she unlocked me and edged me several times. Like spanking, her hand technique has improved remarkably. She knows exactly how to stimulate me. She keeps teasing me that I won’t come at all in May. Maybe it isn’t teasing. May could be a very long month for me.

I think that most of us start enforced chastity because we have had fantasies about how it will feel to lose control of our penises. It starts as a game where the prize is an orgasm. Most of the people who play it, give it up fairly quickly. They discover that being locked up and having to wait for their keyholders to let them get off isn’t quite as much fun as they thought. Each day of waiting feels very long. Patience frays, temper can get short. The keyholders grow bored with trying to make the fantasy real. That’s not too surprising. Many people try all sorts of kinky activities. Most decide it isn’t all that much fun. Some love it, and others adopt the kink as something to do on the odd weekend.

When we started, I liked the new focus on sex. Waiting wasn’t particularly enjoyable, but I ended up having more orgasms with Mrs. Lion than I had in years. So, I had a strong incentive to continue. Ironically, being locked up turned out to give me more sex than when I was wild. If you’ve been following along, you know that we also discovered that enforced chastity brought us closer together. We’ve both posted on why we think that happened. But that’s not what I am talking about today. The positive effects kept us going.

Over time, I slowly changed. I learned that sex for me is almost always non-orgasmic. That is incredibly significant. I learned to appreciate edging and feel emotionally satisfied after Mrs. Lion edged me. Yes, I still want to come, but I don’t expect to. That all happened almost imperceptively. I only realized this in the last few weeks. When I was wild a couple of weeks ago, I forgot that I wasn’t caged. I still sat to pee, my hands never went near my penis. The cage was there, firmly locked in my mind.

Even though we only started FLM recently, Mrs. Lion’s authority has been deeply imprinted in my mind. Her sexual control sends a strong message about who has the real power. So when we started formal FLM, accepting Mrs. Lion’s authority was no leap at all. I completely accept her right to tell me what to do and I accept punishment when she feels I need it. Moreover, I hate the punishment and still meekly roll over to receive it.

Enforced chastity is no longer a game for us. It’s a fixture in our lives. Mrs. Lion has made that clear in a recent conversation. I asked if I wanted to, could we end enforced chastity? Her answer was a very even “No.” I may have built the car, but she is the driver. Similarly, I asked her to make ours a Female Led Marriage (FLM). She agreed. We also agreed I can’t quit. We will review it at the end of the year, but the decision to stop isn’t mine alone. She has the veto.

How do I know all this is real? I have changed in ways I had no idea I would. Enforced chastity is no longer a choice for me. It is my sex life, pure and simple. I get edged 90+ percent of the time. It is my sexual norm, not ejaculation. My frustration is something Mrs. Lion celebrates and promotes. I support her in this even though my body wants release. I accept her rules and her punishment without objection. She punishes me in a way that could never be mistaken for BDSM play. It’s real. It’s all real. Reality has a way of sneaking up on you.