Rear Attention
It’s been quiet here in the lions’ den. We’ve done our food shopping yesterday and have a broken lawn tractor to deal with today. The sun is shining and the temperature was almost 70 deg. F yesterday. More of the same is expected today. Mrs. Lion mentioned that she hasn’t been disciplining me much lately. That’s true. When she said that, I said that it was because I was being so good. She rolled her eyes and said it was because she was being lazy about calling me out and then spanking me. While we were talking, she made a sour face and said we have opera tickets next week. I love opera. She doesn’t even like it a little, but she endures it albeit not too gracefully to please me. We moved from New York nearly a decade ago. There, I was able to enjoy Broadway shows, symphony, and opera at the Met. She hates all of that too. Now we live in a west coast cultural desert where any scrap of good music is manna for me. Enough whining. What we lost in culture we gained in natural beauty and a mild climate. Perhaps one day we can fly east and stuff ourselves on good food and fine music.
I was out of my cage Friday night and all day Saturday. Most of the time I forgot that it wasn’t on. I’m so conditioned to wearing it that I have to stop and think before I realize that there is nothing between my penis and the rest of the world. Of course, I’m locked up again; back to the lion status quo. My interest in sex has been surprisingly light since my two-days-in-a-row orgasm fiesta. By now, three days later, I should be over the shock and ready to go again. I probably am but need Mrs. Lion’s touch to wake up my sleeping beauty.
After reading her post yesterday, I think more than my penis will be getting exercise going forward. That will be fun. Sometimes Mrs. Lion gets into a bit of a rut when it comes to play. When she realizes it, she starts to feel that I am getting bored and worries about mixing things up. Since most of the things she considers adding for variety cause some measure of discomfort, I sometimes like the rut a lot. On the other hand, I have missed anal play.
For me, anal activity runs in phases. When we start again after as little as a few weeks rest, my anus returns to a virginal state and any insertion is uncomfortable. If we continue on a regular basis, say every other day, I quickly learn to relax again and Mrs. Lion can use larger objects and eventually begin pegging me. This is not a comfortable process for me, but it does meet a need, possibly masochistic, that I have.
Some years ago we were sent a fucking machine (see image above). This device is a “riding model”. A dildo is mounted on the vacu-loc fitting (patented by Doc Johnson) and then I straddle the padded bench and allow the dildo to penetrate me. Of course the dildo and I are well lubed first. The machine will fuck at different speeds. I have to be well broken in before I can stand this machine. It came with an eight-inch-long, 1 3/4 inch-thick jelly dildo (pink, yuck). We’ve only tried it once or twice. Each time I couldn’t stand much motion at all even though I could accept the dildo. Of course, those times Mrs. Lion was not really determined to train me to be pegged, so she stopped immediately when I whined.
Recently, she mentioned the machine. Once she conditions me again to more easily accept objects up my ass, I expect that we will move down to the playroom where she will start my machine training. I don’t think she has any goals in mind; she rarely does. But she has been learning consistency in terms of teasing and edging me. I can easily see her transferring this learning to my anal training as well. Anal penetration holds a lot of powerful symbolism. It unmistakably identifies the penetrator as the dominant partner. Shoving things up someone’s ass and pegging him is an exercise in pure power. I don’t think she sees things this way, but I do. I suspect most guys do as well. I’ll update you when she begins attending to my anus.
A Lull in the Action
Since Lion’s last orgasms (two nights in a row), he hasn’t seemed particularly horny. That could be because it was two nights in a row. He’s also had a few job interviews with another one coming up on Monday. They both get his hopes up and remind him he’s been out of work for a while now. One minute he’s sure he’ll get hired soon and the next he’s sure he won’t. Each night I’ve tried to edge him and each night he gets hard but it’s pretty clear he won’t make it to the edge. Is that a problem? Not from my perspective. I did agree to edge him every night, but I can’t force him to get there. What I can do is unlock him and give him the attention. At some point he will be horny enough. In the meantime he feels my touch and knows I’m right here with him, no matter what.
I have had a wild Lion for over twelve hours. He’s had horrible spring time allergies and he’s been breaking out all over. The latest patch is just where the cock ring goes. I decided that there’s no reason, especially with a non-horny lion, that he couldn’t be wild while that patch clears up. Even if he was horny there wouldn’t be a reason. I know he won’t cheat. Last night he put the cage in the jewelry cleaner and it came out shiny as new. He can apply medicine to his rash without fear of the ring rubbing it off. And I’m sure he’ll be locked up again in no time. The main thing is that I’m taking care of my pet.
Last night was also maintenance swat night. Lion dutifully reminded me in the afternoon. It’s a little soon to know how things are going. I’ve been giving him six swats that aren’t quite punishment strength. I rubbed the rough side of the bloodwood paddle across his cheeks before I started so he’d know which paddle I had and how much it might hurt. Then I gave him the swats with the smooth side. Just a little twist to keep him guessing. I know I need to come up with more reasons to actually punish him. It’s not that he doesn’t do things. I’m just so used to letting things go. I guess that will be my next step. Watch out, Lion!
Finding Joy
Over the last few days we have had some issues with our server. I know Mrs. Lion alluded to them in her post yesterday. These problems are relationship related. I’ve been working on managing the issues. I think we have a solution and things should be stable once again. Some of the firewall changes caused our crash yesterday. That’s fixed now. Hopefully, we will return to normal once again. These issues are part of the price we pay for our independence from external server operators. I truly dislike dealing with things I don’t fully understand. But we’re back.
We’ve both been writing quite a bit about the mysterious effect that enforced chastity has had on our relationship. It’s mysterious because our marriage has been happy from the start. But as Mrs. Lion said in her post yesterday, one way we had so much peace is that we avoided discussing things we knew would hurt one of us. For me that was sexual needs and wishes. The fact is that we never resolved our differences in that area.
So, why would things be different just because of enforced chastity? That question has been on my mind for some time. For a time I thought it was because my being locked in a chastity device forced us to talk about my sexual needs. The game requires more than just lock the lion up and throw away the key. It requires teasing and delaying orgasms, doing things I won’t want at the time; all sorts of activities. In order for it to work, we had to talk. I had to tell Mrs. Lion what I wanted. But why is this different from me asking to be spanked? I think I finally figured that out.
My request to be locked up required an agreement to do something sexual over a long period of time. All the other stuff like spanking, teasing, etc. were all things that could go along with enforced chastity. So the commitment was to actually do things over a long period of time. That made me willing to discuss what I was thinking regarding enforced chastity. Since Mrs. Liion had agreed to do it, I felt more comfortable talking about things that turn me on.
Our blog opened up a comfortable line of communication for Mrs. Lion. She was able to communicate the good and bad feelings that went along with enforced chastity. Inevitably this included her feelings regarding my inability to initiate. We were able to work through them over time. Once I was able to give orgasms to Mrs. Lion, she realized that she let me do this because I enjoyed getting her off. She enjoyed the release but said she really wasn’t all that turned on. She attributes this to lack of libido. Part of me thinks it is because I am not sexually attractive to her.
These are much more recent conversations. The point is that we are having them, both here and in conversation. The decision to pursue enforced chastity has opened up this channel of communication. The chastity device is a catalyst that facilitates a much deeper, potentially more painful set of topics for us to discuss. This in turn has made us both much happier. We are learning that we can talk about difficult topics without worrying about hurting each other.
I think that this is why we are so committed to enforced chastity. It provides us with a way to learn how to communicate about things we deeply feel; things that might make one of us feel badly. Maybe the power exchange has made it easier for both of us to relate more as equal partners and worry less about the effects of potential hurts. As Mrs. Lion continues to grow stronger and fit into her role, I expect that we will become even better communicators. Anyway, that’s what I think is in it, not only for my lioness, but for both of us.
What’s In It For Me?
If you tried to connect with us earlier, we had our own May Day with the blog. Lion was trying to do something and blew it up for a while. He did explain it to me, but I usually just nod my head when he starts talking computerese. I like playing games with technology but I barely know how to turn on the tv with the complicated remote we have. Anyway, Lion worked his magic and now the blog is up an running once again.
I’ve been thinking about Lion’s post. What’s in this for me? Obviously I love making Lion happy. And although the sex was missing, we never really grew apart. We still held hands and snuggled. But I think what I get out of this is the closeness. We talk more. Not that we stopped talking, but we didn’t talk about sex and wants. I think we didn’t want to make each other feel bad. If Lion said he wanted to be tied down he thought I’d feel bad because I wasn’t doing the things he wanted. If I said I miss my kids I thought he’d feel bad because we can’t afford a trip to see them. So neither of us said anything.
I’m not saying it’s been a miracle right from the beginning. I’ve done a lot of bumping around in the dark. From time to time it gets very messy. Feelings have been hurt. But we talk now. If things are going off the rails, I am more likely to stop, back up and try it again. I never would have done that before. I would have just left it alone and gotten quiet. Lion would have either thought I agreed with him or that I was mad at him. And that’s not fair to either of us.
It’s so difficult to put it into words. In some ways I got the love of my life back even though he was always right there with me. In some ways chastity woke us both up. We’re not just going through the motions anymore. We never technically had a honeymoon. Maybe we’re having one now.
