First the news. Last night was punishment night. I had several offenses accumulated over the weekend as well as last night. Mrs. Lion straddled me and hit me with the bloodwood paddle. Each swat hurt more than any other she has done in the past. I couldn’t hold still and managed to squirm away a couple of times. I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to hold still and take my medicine I just couldn’t. I hate the way that spanking hurt. Tonight is maintenance spanking night. Based on my behavior last night, Mrs. Lion will probably give me a repeat performance so I can practice holding still. Later, she unlocked me and edged me several times. Like spanking, her hand technique has improved remarkably. She knows exactly how to stimulate me. She keeps teasing me that I won’t come at all in May. Maybe it isn’t teasing. May could be a very long month for me.
I think that most of us start enforced chastity because we have had fantasies about how it will feel to lose control of our penises. It starts as a game where the prize is an orgasm. Most of the people who play it, give it up fairly quickly. They discover that being locked up and having to wait for their keyholders to let them get off isn’t quite as much fun as they thought. Each day of waiting feels very long. Patience frays, temper can get short. The keyholders grow bored with trying to make the fantasy real. That’s not too surprising. Many people try all sorts of kinky activities. Most decide it isn’t all that much fun. Some love it, and others adopt the kink as something to do on the odd weekend.
When we started, I liked the new focus on sex. Waiting wasn’t particularly enjoyable, but I ended up having more orgasms with Mrs. Lion than I had in years. So, I had a strong incentive to continue. Ironically, being locked up turned out to give me more sex than when I was wild. If you’ve been following along, you know that we also discovered that enforced chastity brought us closer together. We’ve both posted on why we think that happened. But that’s not what I am talking about today. The positive effects kept us going.
Over time, I slowly changed. I learned that sex for me is almost always non-orgasmic. That is incredibly significant. I learned to appreciate edging and feel emotionally satisfied after Mrs. Lion edged me. Yes, I still want to come, but I don’t expect to. That all happened almost imperceptively. I only realized this in the last few weeks. When I was wild a couple of weeks ago, I forgot that I wasn’t caged. I still sat to pee, my hands never went near my penis. The cage was there, firmly locked in my mind.
Even though we only started FLM recently, Mrs. Lion’s authority has been deeply imprinted in my mind. Her sexual control sends a strong message about who has the real power. So when we started formal FLM, accepting Mrs. Lion’s authority was no leap at all. I completely accept her right to tell me what to do and I accept punishment when she feels I need it. Moreover, I hate the punishment and still meekly roll over to receive it.
Enforced chastity is no longer a game for us. It’s a fixture in our lives. Mrs. Lion has made that clear in a recent conversation. I asked if I wanted to, could we end enforced chastity? Her answer was a very even “No.” I may have built the car, but she is the driver. Similarly, I asked her to make ours a Female Led Marriage (FLM). She agreed. We also agreed I can’t quit. We will review it at the end of the year, but the decision to stop isn’t mine alone. She has the veto.
How do I know all this is real? I have changed in ways I had no idea I would. Enforced chastity is no longer a choice for me. It is my sex life, pure and simple. I get edged 90+ percent of the time. It is my sexual norm, not ejaculation. My frustration is something Mrs. Lion celebrates and promotes. I support her in this even though my body wants release. I accept her rules and her punishment without objection. She punishes me in a way that could never be mistaken for BDSM play. It’s real. It’s all real. Reality has a way of sneaking up on you.