It Doesn’t Have To Be Real
If you’ve been reading along, you know that Mrs. Lion and I are trying to integrate domestic discipline into our lives. Depending how you look at it, we are either doing fine or we are struggling to find a mutually workable solution for now. This isn’t surprising. It’s really difficult for Mrs. Lion to be an authority figure. That’s certainly not news to me. What we are doing in regard to FLM and domestic discipline is a bit artificial.
Unlike enforced chastity, which is self-contained; it creates the problem – waiting for orgasms and provides the eventual solution — domestic discipline is supposed to deal with real-life situations. That means Mrs. Lion is supposed to observe behavioral problems and correct them with punishments. The only thing wrong with that concept for us is that any behavioral problems I may have don’t rise to the point of provoking a reaction from Mrs. Lion. I certainly do things that annoy her: I forget to do things sometimes. I interrupt her. I get grumpy and growl once in a while.
Most of the time Mrs. Lion doesn’t even mention it when I do these things. In fact, the only times she actually lets me know when there is something wrong is when she gets quiet and remote. Then, after prodding for a while, she will tell me. Clearly, it’s difficult for her to confront me on things that really bother her. She has no problem at all making my bottom hot and sore if I eat before her. I think that’s because this rule was created for my benefit to give her reasons to punish me.
I’m not saying that this is all Mrs. Lion’s problem. It isn’t. It would be a mistake to prod her into letting me know when I upset her by reminding her she can punish me if I do. The punishing part is part of something I asked her to do. That she avoids confrontation is something that belongs to her. In the beginning, I thought domestic discipline would be a good way to make it easier for Mrs. Lion to express herself when annoyed. That is unfair. If it is better for her to avoid that sort of confrontation, then I shouldn’t expect her to spank me when I annoy her. From my vanilla perspective, I would like to know when I annoy her so I can stop. She doesn’t have to spank me to let me know.
Some other couples work out a set of rules similar to the few we have. The dominant wife notes infractions and deals with them as she wishes. These rules are behavioral and don’t necessarily have anything to do with what actually upsets her. In that way the disciplined husband gets the strict environment he wants and needs and his wife doesn’t have to go through psychological changes to make it happen. I’m fine with that.
The very fact that Mrs. Lion is willing to be my keyholder and disciplining wife is a big change for her. I am deeply grateful for the hard work she does just to make me happy. I don’t want her to change. I don’t want her to do things that cause her life to be more difficult. I love her more than anything and her happiness is much more important than mine.
A Lion Challenge
The Reluctant Disciplinarian
Tuesday night Mrs. Lion surprised me with a bonus orgasm. I had absolutely no idea it was…I was coming. It was a delightfully impulsive move on her part. All day Tuesday I was exceptionally horny.I was working from home and naked as required. I’m not sure that had anything to do with it, but I was ready to go. I won’t go through the events of the evening. I’m sure you’re tired of the clothespins on my penis. Suffice it to say that they still hurt as much as ever.
My post yesterday, drew a very interesting comment from Nerdy Dirty Girl:
As I was reading your post, I was thinking that a lot of what you were saying sounded like parenting. At its most basic, our kids push their boundaries to find the limit and feel our love.
It might be that I still have young kids at home. It might be that I, like lioness, have no real D natural tendencies. I know that the last thing I want is another person who I have to discipline. Based on the limited view we have into your lives, it makes me wonder if her reticence at enforcing rules is caused by something similar.
That’s a very good point. In fact, I brought that very subject up in an earlier post. Power exchange by its very nature puts one person in control of another. People who play for a few hours at a time can select roles; you know, master and slave, schoolgirl and teacher, etc. A full time power exchange like Mrs. Lion’s and mine can’t support itself on a skeleton of playacting. Even though the power exchange is consensual, it is still real. We are no longer assuming roles, we are actually living this power exchange. I’m not asserting that we have a parent/child relationship. We don’t. But there really isn’t any language for what we do have. Mrs. Lion’s role resembles parenting in the sense that she has the authority to make and enforce rules and monitor my behavior. But she isn’t a parent since I am capable of functioning without that supervision. It’s a choice.
Yesterday, in my post, I noted that like a child, I want to test boundaries. Part of that desire may come from a masochistic desire to feel punishment, but I don’t think so. Since this arrangement is consensual, and since I know Mrs. Lion is doing it because she knows I really want it, how can I understand that despite all that she is truly in charge? I don’t act out. I don’t have any glaring bad habits to correct. So there are no problems to correct. More importantly, we are relatively new to this. We haven’t had the time to habituate our roles. I don’t just know that Mrs. Lion is in charge. I want her to be. I want her to discipline me. And she does. What’s my problem? That seems to be the subtext in the comment. My problem is that I still feel that this is all my idea and is under my control. Testing boundaries is one way to feel her control.
It’s true, as the comment observes, that Mrs. Lion isn’t dominant by nature. It’s also true that she isn’t a disciplinarian. She hated disciplining her kids. It’s taken her a long time to be comfortable causing me pain. I don’t think that will ever change. At best she will be able to punish me without feeling distress herself. This is not natural for her. I know she does it because I want it. She knows that too.
That doesn’t mean she can’t become proficient at dominating me and disciplining as needed. It just means that the process is new to her (and to me) and we agreed we would continue down this path. Maybe I shouldn’t test her authority. So far I haven’t. I’m not suggesting that it is a good idea for me to do that. Oh no, not at all. I need to know that I am not controlling things. I think it is difficult for Mrs. Lion to assert this. Ironically, I think it will be difficult for me hear when she does. But I need to hear it regularly.
Sometimes He Gets a Reward
Lion’s eye is finally healed. Three long weeks after that first panicked exam. I kept telling him it would take time, but I didn’t realize how long it had been until I looked at the calendar yesterday. He’s not 100% yet, but by next week we’re hoping he’ll get the approval to go back to wearing his contact lens in that eye and he’ll actually be able to see.
Although I never timed it previously, Lion was also able to hold one of the nasty little clothes pins for over three minutes last night. I was stroking him the entire time and I’m sure the movement made it both tolerable and intolerable. Of course, removing the clothes pin hurts too, so I was proud of him for that as well. I’ve been careful to pick a new spot each time I put one on. I don’t want to take a chance that he “remember” the pain. I don’t mean that he’ll actually forget it. I mean if I continue to put it on one spot, it may hurt more over time or somehow damage that area. I do not want to damage my pet.
Lion was extremely horny yesterday. He still had two days to wait, and when I started edging him, he really did have two more days to wait. But as I edged him a few times, I decided that the combination of his eye finally being healed and how proud I was of him for holding that horrible clothes pin for so long deserved a reward. And if you ask Lion what the best kind of reward is I bet he would say an orgasm. Especially when he’s very horny. So I gave him one. And then I made him eat his cum. I don’t know why. I’m usually more selfish with it. I love the taste and he doesn’t. Feeding it to him seems like a waste, but something made me do it. Maybe it was to show him that even though I’m nice to him he shouldn’t take it for granted. I don’t know.
What I do know is that Lion was a very happy boy afterwards. And, yes, he still gets his scheduled orgasm tomorrow, unless he’s not horny enough for it. For all I know he’s back to being very horny right now. It’s not outside the realm of possibilities. Sometimes I think he feels all the horniness I do not. As if somehow that horniness was given back to the universe and had to go somewhere, so Lion stepped up and took the extra share. He’s just holding it for me until I’m ready to take it back. What a guy!
