Idle Hands
Lions are funny animals, especially mine. He swears we never discussed the “hands off the weenie” policy. If that’s true then why do I mention it during our camping trips when he idly touches himself when he’s wild? He’ll be sitting in his recliner, watching TV and his hands wander. He usually says, “Oops. Sorry.” Even at home, when he’s caged, I’ll ask him if he isn’t adjusting himself a bit much. I know he can’t get himself aroused with the cage on, but if he touches himself then, he’ll touch himself when he’s wild. It’s just a habit, I know. Maybe he needs something to do with those idle hands. I’ll have to come up with something.
The other thing he’s surprised about is the naked policy. Somehow he’s gotten it into his head that I don’t care. It’s true that I don’t mention it a lot. I think that’s because he’s usually really good at following the rule. And 1.0 may not have noticed as much as 2.0 does. But generally, Lion will have a very good reason for being dressed. If he’s mowing the lawn or will be in the front yard for any reason, of course he needs clothes on. He can grill naked since the backyard is concealed by trees and there are no neighbors close. If he’s doing anything that could be dangerous, I don’t want him naked. If we’re building furniture, for example. When he’s cooking and there may be grease spatter, I hope he wears at least a T shirt, if not his apron. And he’s allowed to have a T shirt on when he’s cold. I may want him to have blue balls, but not because he’s cold.
I guess Lion needs more reinforcement of the rules. Or, more correctly, more acknowledgment of the rules. When he’s naked I’ll need to thank him for being in uniform. When he keeps his hands to himself I’ll need to thank him for not touching. It makes sense. I hate when people only tell me what they see me doing wrong, but never what I do right. The same is true of Lions. 2.0 needs to see the good and not just the bad. Maybe when she figures that out she’ll be 2.1. Just a minor upgrade.
I have promised Lion more sling time this weekend. He’s really hooked on it. I haven’t decided if I should slather his balls with menthol rub again or use some of the tons of ginger we have in the fridge. Maybe both. Plus, we just got a Wartenberg wheel. A restrained Lion would be a good test for that. So many possibilities.
Confessions Of A Wild Lion
Somehow over last weekend, when I put my base ring on, I must have badly pinched the skin on my penis. I don’t remember any pain, but the next day a very large bruise appeared. The bruise didn’t stop Mrs. Lion from teasing me. We discussed whether or not it made sense for me to go back in the chastity device. I wanted to put it back on and Mrs. Lion agreed. The next day the bruise was worse and over the next few days didn’t heal much. So, Wednesday night Mrs. Lion decided to leave me uncaged, All day yesterday I was wild and unfettered. Last night, when Mrs. Lion inspected the bruise, it had become smaller. So, she made the decision to continue to leave me wild.
Before going to sleep last night, she warned me, “No touching.” I was surprised.
“No touching?” I asked.
“Of course. That’s always been the rule.”
“I thought the rule was no masturbating.”
“No! The rule is no touching other than necessary things like peeing and infrequent adjustments.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
I had never really thought about what sort of penis touches were illegal. In the past, when wild, I have fondled a little; even to the point of the beginning of an erection. I always thought that if I didn’t jerk off or let anyone else touch it, that I was well within the rules. Apparently not.
Mrs. Lion may not agree, but it doesn’t seem like a big deal. What bothers me more is that I don’t remember any instructions on what I can and can’t do with my uncaged penis. This may be a bit like the rule to be naked when home with no guests around. I have understood and followed that rule for over 13 years. However, until a couple of weeks ago, I don’t recall Mrs. Lion ever commenting if I was dressed or not. This last time when I kept my clothes on too long, I was spanked to help me remember not to do that again.
Before she told me that any penis touching is prohibited, I was in no danger of any touching that could result in an orgasm. I’m not even sure that it wouldn’t take more work than it’s worth for me to jerk off. This is the third year I haven’t masturbated. Now I am wild for at least another day I’m in no danger of getting myself off. I suppose there is the risk of a little surreptitious fondling, but nothing more.
If Mrs. Lion hadn’t reminded me that no touching meant NO TOUCHING, I might have fondled without a second thought. If she hadn’t pointed out that I was illegally dressed and punished me for it, I would have continued believing that she didn’t care if I were dressed or not. I think that I may need more direct supervision than either of us imagined. When we are together and come home, maybe Mrs. Lion could ask me if I am on my way to get naked. Directly pointing out that she cares that I am bare and collared on a frequent basis will help me feel the boundaries she set. The same is true on days I am wild. Regular questioning will assure that I know she cares if my hand wanders south.
Until the incident with me remaining dressed, I was convinced that I was getting naked without Mrs. Lion even noticing. In my opinion, part of being consistent and strict includes regular questioning and notice of rules I follow. It reminds me that my lioness is watching and that she cares about the rules she makes.
Can We Try It?
Somehow, in his hurry to be caged again, Lion pinched Mr. Weenie and got an ugly bruise. We’ve been watching it and decided last night to leave him wild to help with blood flow. By this morning it already looked a little better. Lion likes to remind me he’s wild. I know. I’m the one who left him wild. Last night I told him he needed to be good and keep his hands out of trouble. He asked what that meant. I told him he was not allowed to touch Mr. Weenie. He insists that’s never been a rule before. Really? It was one of the first rules. No more fraternization with Mr. Weenie. Peeing, cleaning, and some adjusting are allowed. Recreational activities are not. How is this news? I asked if he needed handcuffs to keep himself in line. He said he hoped I knew I could trust him. I do. I did. Until the touching thing came into question. (I still do trust him, but I have to wonder why he doesn’t remember the rule.)
In our search for menthol rubs the other day, we saw a TENS unit. It sends little (and sometimes big, depending on the model) electrical pulses through muscles. Lion found one on Amazon and had to order it. He researched it and read the instructions and had it almost all set up. He couldn’t stop talking about it. Between that and his new iPad, he’s been a very excited boy lately. He did everything but jump up and down and say, “Can we try it? Can we try it? When can we try it? Are you ready to try it?” So naturally I rolled my eyes and we tried it.
It’s got little adhesive pads that make contact with the skin. With a controller you can select different pulse patterns and different strengths. From my interactions with TENS units during physical therapy, I know the pulses can be anywhere from a gentle warming feeling to shooting you across the room when your muscle tenses. With the pads on his balls and perineum, there didn’t seem to be much outward effect. We tried on his anus and balls, and on his balls and penis. He felt the pulses in each area, but there was really no real effect visible to me. Mr. Weenie did seem to grow a bit and then shrink, but only in length. He was not getting hard from the stimulation. We’ll have to keep testing it to see if there’s any benefit to it.
Last night Lion did very well playing Jeopardy. Unfortunately for him, it was not a night it counted. There were no clothespins or shock collars involved. I think maybe Friday I’ll have him strap the shock collar on and have another go at Lion Jeopardy. It’s the finals for College Jeopardy. Maybe they’ll find some more obscure categories. Poor Lion.
Avoiding Black Holes
Massive black holes are at the center of every galaxy. They pull everything into them and disintegrate matter. Caged males, or bottoms of all kinds can also become black holes seeming to need an infinite amount of attention. It’s true that almost all males in a submissive/bottom roles like to feel the power of their tops. It’s also true that many, especially including me, like to try new things. Ask any dealer in BDSM toys; most toys are purchased by bottoms.
The obvious problem with this is that the top becomes exhausted by the constant need for more and different action. It’s easy for a top to feel trapped in the gravity of the bottom black hole. Resisting this force will often result in the bottom feeling neglected. Is there any way to find equilibrium?
The first step is for the top to experiment a bit. If the caged male wants more action, try giving it to him. He wants to play more often; try every day. It probably won’t take too long before he is too sore and tired to want to continue at that rate. Data point acquired.
He wants to do more, probably painful activities (yes, I know, that’s me). OK, give them to him. Since Lioness 2.0 has been on the scene, she has been doing just that. I wanted to play games. I got Jeopardy with very painful clothespins on my balls. Do I want to do it again? Yes! Do I want to do it every day? Please, no! Another data point.
I got turned on by a random doggy command (“Up boy, up!”). I asked for more. 2.0 requires I wear a dog collar all the time I am not in public; not for a day or week, but all the time. I want domestic discipline. I get very painful spankings for any transgression.
Does all this stop me for wanting to try other things? No it doesn’t. But it does stop me from whining or expressing a sense of urgency. I don’t feel a bit neglected if we skip some time between play sessions. I understand that if I ask to try something, I will do more than try it. Mrs. Lion will take it to the extreme and keep it there. If I say I don’t want to continue, my request falls on deaf ears.
I have a theory about this. Bottoms who act like a black hole have not yet felt the level of control they need or they have excess sexual energy that they want to express through bottoming. Realistically, it’s a combination of both. I think it is likely that the bottom himself isn’t aware of how these needs affect him. Time to go back to the lab.
Take me for example. I’ve been talking about needing to feel more control. This can translate into more activity and more severe sensation. I don’t think that solves the control issue. It’s solves another and we will get to that in a few sentences. In my mind, at least, I feel control when I am required to do something I don’t really want to do. The dog collar is a good example. It’s true that I found it hot to have to wear it, but every day until further notice is not so hot. It does, however let me know that even though I wanted this, I don’t get to decide how it is used.
I also feel control when I am disciplined. It isn’t the discipline itself that does it. It’s the consequence it represents. I am told that I must do something (or not do something) and if I fail, on purpose or accidentally, I am punished. The more restrictive my rules, the more controlled I feel. Uh oh! Black hole warning. This could end up as time-consuming micro management.
This is where the top has to be a bit creative. It isn’t the quantity of rules that matters; it’s the effect a rule has on my life. If I appear to be needing more control, then a single rule that forces me to change something I don’t want to change will have massive force on me. After a time, if that rule is lifted, again I feel the control since my lioness has the ability to make my life easier with a wave of her paw.
I have the ability to test control fairly safely as well. Rules like being naked at home and wearing my collar could be broken to test boundaries. I’m not saying I’ve done that — oh no, not me — but I am saying that if I did, my disobedience wouldn’t threaten our relationship but would give Mrs. Lion an opportunity to teach me a strong lesson. Butt sore. Lesson learned, at least for a while. Thus, we have a self-correcting system; painful for me, but self correcting.
As for sensation play, there is a different issue. A reasonable amount of it is fun and sexy. Mrs. Lion is a genius at causing pain and extreme arousal at the same time. Our house is rigged to make bondage easy. That’s important for me since I love it. The black hole situation is when sensation play becomes like a narcotic. The bottom wants more and more. This can wear a top out quickly.
The solution is intensity. If a bottom, namely me, wants more and more activity, it probably means that whatever brain chemistry (Some call it sub space. I disagree in this case. But that’s another post) is invoked by sensation play isn’t being sufficiently stimulated. Whether that is true or not, if sensation play sessions become more intense, it won’t take long for the bottom to realize that he isn’t up to so much sensation so often. The question, “Do you want to do this tomorrow too?” will probably be answered with a resounding, “No. Please, no.” Problem solved.
Every bottom is different. Individual needs, both top and bottom, will cause issues if not met. In the case of a bottom, me, the answer is rarely what I ask for, but actually the need to feel either control or sensation at a higher level. I imagine the same is true of others in my position.
