Self-Reporting
Lion forgot his collar last night. I didn’t realize it. When he did, he put it on. A little while later he confessed. It was punishment night so I planned to give him swats for it. Then I forgot. I remembered just before bed, but I wasn’t going to do it then since Lion was already snuggled in. I thought of it again this morning on the way to work. And then Lion reminded me in an email.
So as I was thinking about it this morning, I started to wonder if the punishment should be less severe if he self-reports. After all, I’ve missed it too. Plus it may encourage him to continue to self-report. He said last night he considered not saying anything but decided that would be wrong. So he does need some sort of punishment for the offense, but I’m thinking it shouldn’t be as harsh. Maybe that’s 1.0 talking, but it seems right. I mean, think about it. If you caught your kid skipping school, you’d punish him. If your kid came to you and confessed to skipping school, you would be disappointed, but you’d also want to encourage him to feel comfortable coming to you with problems. Maybe you wouldn’t punish him. Maybe you’d give him a lesser punishment. Maybe you’d realize if he confessed he already felt bad enough. Sometimes knowing you’ve disappointed someone is enough punishment. While 2.0 may be jumping up and down yelling, “Whomp his butt!” because she’s just a bitch out for blood, that may not be the answer.
I do think Lion needs some swats for forgetting. He will get those tonight. Ironically, when we were in the kitchen last night, I was fondling Lion’s butt and looking at the kitchen paddle, thinking I should give him a few swats just because. Those very swats could have served as punishment for forgetting the collar. Even though I didn’t realize he needed them at the time. Perhaps I should just give him swats randomly. That way he would have a bank of punishment to withdraw from.
Last night I decided to test out a theory I came up with on the weekend. If you remember, I said Lion’s ass was burning when I tried to peg him. We had no idea why. His theory was that maybe it was the enema he did before we started playing. I thought it might have been the dildo since it had a strange color to it. Something might have gotten on it. So I wanted to try it again to see if it would burn when he hadn’t done an enema.
It went in OK and Lion said it hurt more than burned, but that might have been because it was a larger dildo and it was stretching him. I left it in for a few minutes without moving it so it would stretch him. After I removed it he said there was a slight burning. We can either wash the dildo more carefully, throw a condom on it so we can still have the size while protecting his skin from the surface of the dildo, or toss the dildo altogether. It’s the first one we got that fits on the fucking machine so it’s sort of important. Before I retry that dildo, I’ll find a similar size to see if the burning is only because of the stretching. I never took any science classes after biology but it appears I am enjoying experiments.
Keys To Chastity Hardware Fitting
Some people think that a chastity device should allow room for an erection. So their devices are largely empty most of the time. As a result, peeing is messy and hygiene poor. There are a lot of misunderstandings about how a chastity device should fit.
Yesterday morning I found myself awake over an hour early. I had a morning erection and no sexual thoughts at all. This isn’t unusual. Many guys experience “morning wood”. This phenomenon is the body’s normal way of keeping the equipment tuned and ready. My chastity device doesn’t cause me pain when my penis attempts to get hard. Some devices hurt and will wake their wearers up.
Modern chastity devices have two main parts: the base ring and the penis container. The base ring fits like a classic cock ring. The balls and penis are threaded through the ring. Poorly-sized base rings generate the most discomfort and pain for their wearers. Guys new to enforced chastity will sometimes obsess over the need for “security”. They want a device they can’t escape while locked. They reason that the tighter the base ring, the more difficult escape will be. On the face of it, this is true. However, the tighter the base ring, the more difficult it will be to wear comfortably.
Ill-fitting rings will chafe and bind. Painful irritation follows. During day-t0-day activities, the base ring needs to allow the body to move under it. Friction will cause irritation. Some guys try to lubricate their skin to alleviate the discomfort. This is a temporary fix at best. The ideal base ring will allow the body to move under it and at the same time provide a secure anchor for the penis cage. Plastic base rings are far more likely to “stick” than steel ones. The plastic is wider and tends to adhere to the skin. Stainless steel rings minimize the surface area in contact with the skin, and if not too tight, will allow the body to move without irritation.
The penis tube or “cage” is much more forgiving. I found that for me at least, a diameter about 1/4″ smaller than my flaccid penis and the length about 1/2 to 3/4 inches shorter than my shortest measurement are ideal. When the penis is flaccid, the cage should touch all surfaces of the penis, including the head. It should fit like a glove. Most people can’t find an off-the-shelf device that will fit very well. For long term wear, I found that only a custom device would work for me.
The design of the device itself is a matter of personal taste. However, the more open the design, the easier it will be to stay clean and odor free. My Jail Bird is completely open. I don’t need to do anything special in the shower too keep clean, and during the day, my penis stays nice and dry.
I think that a lot of guys let their fantasies control what they buy. I think that most men who have been wearing a device for any length of time will agree that the primary requirement for a chastity device, other than keeping their hands away from their junk, is comfort. My device is on me an average of 23 1/2 hours a day, every day. That’s over 95% of the time. I couldn’t manage it if it hurt.
Lions in the news
On a personal note, Men’s Health magazine interviewed me and is going to feature the interview in either their July/August or September issues. It was exciting to have a chance to share a positive view of enforced male chastity in such a popular forum (over 1.8 million circulation). In case you didn’t see it, Mrs. Lion and I were interviewed by the Huffington Post. You can find the article here. They also included us in this podcast.
The No-Choice Choice
Yesterday Lion and I had our customary email conversation. Here’s an excerpt:
Lion: Uneventful drive today. Uneventful day, pretty much.
2.0: I’m sure your day will pick up after dinner. 😉 I don’t know. Just a feeling I have.
Lion: I wonder what is happening after dinner?
2.0: Usually it’s Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy 😉
Maybe not the funniest exchange we’ve ever had, but now I had to come up with something good for him. After my shower, Lion was snoozing. Undoubtedly resting up for the evening’s activities. That’s OK. I had my idea anyway. I just needed a wide awake Lion. He had a decision to make.
Sometimes, when he knows it’s orgasm night, I give him a choice of how he’d like his orgasm. Hand, mouth or penetration. But last night wasn’t orgasm night. His choice was between menthol rub and tiny clothespins. He tried to say neither and I told him that wasn’t a choice. It would have been far easier for him if I had given him a choice between an orgasm and menthol rub. I’m pretty sure he would have had no trouble deciding. I really wasn’t sure which he would pick. I even gave him a bit of a break by not having the nastiest tiny clothespins in the mix. I figured he would never choose the tiniest ones since they hurt so much. Finally he selected menthol rub.
The last time we used the menthol rub, I slathered Lion’s balls with it. He’d said it was a wimpy strength. I figured, if it was wimpy and he’s a strong lion, he should be able to take it. Nope. I had to untie him so he could wash off. It turns out the wimpy strength is stronger than Lion. Last night I took a tiny amount on my fingertip and rubbed it into a 3/4 inch circle. After a few minutes it started working. Lion wondered why I used so much. Who’s wimpy now? It’s a good thing he didn’t choose the clothespins. I used less of the wimpy menthol than I did of the stronger menthol with him in the sling.
Luckily it wore off after about ten or fifteen minutes and we resumed our normal edging. I’m getting pretty good at taking him just short of the edge. He’s reduced to a panting puddle. And then I stop. We’ve been cuddling when I’m done with him. Last night I even held onto Mr. Weenie while we cuddled. I didn’t move. I just held him for a bit. I don’t know if that gave Lion hope that I would continue or made him stay harder longer. I just wanted to keep touching him even if I wasn’t going to edge him anymore.
This morning Lion says he’s grateful he got a choice even if it wasn’t really a choice. Maybe he’ll get more no-choice choices in the future. [Lion — I agree the choices weren’t very appealing, but they were choices. It’s nice to have a menu even if the food isn’t so good.]
The Other 23 and 1/2 Hours
Writing about enforced male chastity is sometimes difficult if you are keeping a daily journal. After all, the essence of this kink is lack of interesting activity. My penis is safely locked away, unavailable for anything beyond peeing. It gets to come out and play for a while most nights, but for the remaining 23 1/2 hours it is inaccessible.
This isn’t just a writing challenge. The hot fantasies about enforced male chastity don’t talk about this time. They focus on the exciting bits of interaction between the keyholder and the caged male. I would imagine that when the reality of long, sexless waiting crashes in on guys just trying male chastity, their interest in continuing may wane.
We all have different ways to compensate for the extended, sexless waits. Many beginners obsess about the “best” device and improving security. They spend their down time trying to find the supermax prison of chastity devices. This can lead to painful experiments with different ways to assure the penis goes untouched. This phase eventually gets old too. For those who stick around, the reality finally dawns that comfort trumps security. They find a comfortable device. What then?
Male chastity is what I call a passive power exchange. Once the keyholder accepts her role and the male is locked up in his device, she doesn’t have to do anything else to maintain her position of sexual authority. Indeed, some long-term chastity couples just lock up the penis, wait for some period of time, unlock it and allow the male to masturbate. The device is locked on again. Rinse and repeat.
That wouldn’t work for me. I’m way too action oriented. I’m not alone. This is the point so many guys grow bored and grumpy and ask for the key back. What to do? If you’ve been reading our blog you know that Mrs. Lion and I have added a couple of twists that keeps our interest up and me safely in my place.
The first thing we added was teasing between orgasms. We learned that my interest in release grows for a few days and then diminishes. It turns out that at some point every male will simply start to lose interest if not stimulated during a wait. The “fun” of male chastity, particularly to the keyholder, is to keep the caged male crazy for an orgasm for his entire wait. Mrs. Lion’s daily edging sessions assures my interest is always at its peak. That doesn’t mean my interest doesn’t change over the year. But the part that is due to being locked up is minimized by my lioness.
Believe it or not, at least for me, it still isn’t enough. So, back to lion fantasies. I’ve always had a fascination with the idea of rules and discipline. For you Freudian’s out there, it probably stems from the lack of parental discipline throughout my childhood. Regardless, I have had fantasies all my life about being spanked. So, it isn’t a very big leap to see why I wanted to try a Female Led Relationship (we call it FLR) that includes rules and consequences. Growing up without consequences helped me develop a taste for getting my butt tanned.
If you’ve been following our adventures, you’ve seen our attempts to incorporate a female led relationship into our marriage. We’re both smart enough to know that reality won’t match my feverish sexual fantasies. In a way that’s good. If getting punished turned me on in real life, then it would make sense to punish me when I am good. Fortunately, reality has adequately proven that I hate being punished, but I love that Mrs. Lion disciplines me.
Incorporating FLR into our marriage is a process that will keep us occupied for years. Combine that with the BDSM play we enjoy, we’ve found a way to fill all those empty, locked-up hours. This path is certainly not something we suggest everyone try. For some, enforced chastity without the whipped cream and cherries is enough. Others want to expand the power exchange. I think that this is the reason so many male chastity blogs discuss other activities.
