Writing about enforced male chastity is sometimes difficult if you are keeping a daily journal. After all, the essence of this kink is lack of interesting activity. My penis is safely locked away, unavailable for anything beyond peeing. It gets to come out and play for a while most nights, but for the remaining 23 1/2 hours it is inaccessible.
This isn’t just a writing challenge. The hot fantasies about enforced male chastity don’t talk about this time. They focus on the exciting bits of interaction between the keyholder and the caged male. I would imagine that when the reality of long, sexless waiting crashes in on guys just trying male chastity, their interest in continuing may wane.
We all have different ways to compensate for the extended, sexless waits. Many beginners obsess about the “best” device and improving security. They spend their down time trying to find the supermax prison of chastity devices. This can lead to painful experiments with different ways to assure the penis goes untouched. This phase eventually gets old too. For those who stick around, the reality finally dawns that comfort trumps security. They find a comfortable device. What then?
Male chastity is what I call a passive power exchange. Once the keyholder accepts her role and the male is locked up in his device, she doesn’t have to do anything else to maintain her position of sexual authority. Indeed, some long-term chastity couples just lock up the penis, wait for some period of time, unlock it and allow the male to masturbate. The device is locked on again. Rinse and repeat.
That wouldn’t work for me. I’m way too action oriented. I’m not alone. This is the point so many guys grow bored and grumpy and ask for the key back. What to do? If you’ve been reading our blog you know that Mrs. Lion and I have added a couple of twists that keeps our interest up and me safely in my place.
The first thing we added was teasing between orgasms. We learned that my interest in release grows for a few days and then diminishes. It turns out that at some point every male will simply start to lose interest if not stimulated during a wait. The “fun” of male chastity, particularly to the keyholder, is to keep the caged male crazy for an orgasm for his entire wait. Mrs. Lion’s daily edging sessions assures my interest is always at its peak. That doesn’t mean my interest doesn’t change over the year. But the part that is due to being locked up is minimized by my lioness.
Believe it or not, at least for me, it still isn’t enough. So, back to lion fantasies. I’ve always had a fascination with the idea of rules and discipline. For you Freudian’s out there, it probably stems from the lack of parental discipline throughout my childhood. Regardless, I have had fantasies all my life about being spanked. So, it isn’t a very big leap to see why I wanted to try a Female Led Relationship (we call it FLR) that includes rules and consequences. Growing up without consequences helped me develop a taste for getting my butt tanned.
If you’ve been following our adventures, you’ve seen our attempts to incorporate a female led relationship into our marriage. We’re both smart enough to know that reality won’t match my feverish sexual fantasies. In a way that’s good. If getting punished turned me on in real life, then it would make sense to punish me when I am good. Fortunately, reality has adequately proven that I hate being punished, but I love that Mrs. Lion disciplines me.
Incorporating FLR into our marriage is a process that will keep us occupied for years. Combine that with the BDSM play we enjoy, we’ve found a way to fill all those empty, locked-up hours. This path is certainly not something we suggest everyone try. For some, enforced chastity without the whipped cream and cherries is enough. Others want to expand the power exchange. I think that this is the reason so many male chastity blogs discuss other activities.
This anticlimactic reality of being in chastity is why this “chastity porn” you see everywhere is so far removed from the reality. They make it out like it’s non stop tease and frustration. How can you pack how the excess time and energy you have when you can’t access your penis is spent into a porn video anyways.