Step One
I’m hoping to feel better by Saturday. I have self-imposed that date. I’m tired of being sick and that’s that. Let’s see if my cold listens as well as Lion does.
Lion has been taking good care of me. After work he cooks dinner and snuggles in bed with me. Of course, he then falls asleep for a bit too. It’s okay. He’s still a little sick himself.
I need to get back to work next week. My boss has already apologized in advance for everything she has screwed up in my absence. A few people know how to do parts of my job. No one really knows how to do the core roles. Job security.
I guess I also have job security at home too. Lion didn’t need any punishment last night, but we can’t assume that will last forever. As a matter of fact, if I hadn’t forgiven him for interrupting me on Monday, he would have been punished then. I was sick Monday. Maybe the cold medicine mellowed me out. If that’s the case, then Lion may be safe the longer I’m sick. Neither of us wants me to be sick any longer.
I don’t think I’ll be jumping right on the punishment bandwagon when I feel better. I’m much more interested in getting back to teasing Lion. If nothing else, I’m definitely unlocking him tonight. My weenie needs a chance to stretch. And Lion can take the opportunity to get Mr. Weenie and his cage clean.
We have to concentrate on getting things back to normal. Step one is getting ourselves healthy.
Why In The World Do I Want To Be Punished?
I like to analyze things. Before starting anything new, I dig as deeply into the subject as much as possible. Domestic discipline has been particularly challenging. The reason it’s given me so much trouble to understand is that it is far more complex than I originally thought.
At first blush, domestic discipline is the application of physical punishments in response to offenses committed by the disciplined spouse. That’s a reasonable definition. But it begs the question of why the disciplined husband, in my case, would not only submit to this, but actively request it and support it. Another, equally important question is why a partner would assume the role of HOH (Head of Household) and administer true punishment.
These questions also apply to enforced chastity as well. Why would a man ask to have his penis locked in a chastity device only to then be forced to forego sex until his keyholder decided he could get release? Both situations appear to create unpleasant outcomes to the men who subscribe to them.
I think that both practices actually have two dimensions: The first is that to many guys they are sexy games. Many men like games with consequences, particularly if they are sexual in nature. That’s the part that attracts me to them. In the case of domestic discipline, I am turned on by the idea of being spanked. There’s something very sexy to me about the combination of humiliation and pain.
That’s the first part. The second part is the part that isn’t the least bit sexy: punishment. Domestic discipline involves real, physical punishments. Almost always that includes disciplinary spanking. As I’ve learned that a disciplinary spanking is pure pain. It isn’t a bit sexy. If I start out hard because the idea of being spanked turns me on, within seconds the erection goes away and I have no thougts of sex. A disciplinary spanking has only one purpose: administer as much pain as possible without causing lasting injury.
Several readers are incredulous that I would subject myself to bruising paddlings and strappings. Even after having received several of these, I still submit when required. Maybe guys are just not very bright. But even though I know what’s coming, the thought arouses me. It still motivates me. There is a second reason I don’t demand Mrs. Lion stop: I agree that the behavior she is correcting needs to be extinguished.
So far Mrs. Lion hasn’t used any other type of punishment. Things like corner time do not appeal to me at all, but I will comply because domestic discipline is proving to be effective in our relationship. Speaking of Mrs. Lion, you may wonder why she would agree to administer punishments to her husband. After all, it could be argued that these punishments make her more my mother than my wife.
The simple answer is that it doesn’t change our roles that way at all. I get punished like a child if I do childish things. That doesn’t mean I don’t protect her and take care of her as my wife. I do. In some sense I am still a child. I think most guys are. Our wives have long known that even if we don’t acknowledge it. I don’t think Mrs. Lion has lost respect for me even though she punishes me.
I know she enjoys the game aspect. She gets a little grin when she catches me breaking a rule. I know she doesn’t enjoy hurting me. It’s taken her a long time to work up to a truly disciplinary spanking. Neither of us likes punishment. We do it because it works. She lets me know that something I’ve done (or forgotten to do) is unacceptable. She demonstrates that it has made her angry or unhappy.
Hopefully, I learn not to repeat the offense. If I don’t, then I am punished again; perhaps more severely. Aside from teaching me, the punishment also provides closure for both of us. Mrs. Lion is sure I have heard her displeasure at my behavior. I feel absolved from the guilt of knowing I have upset her. Justice has been served and peace returns to our lives.
It’s taken me a while to understand this. When we started, neither of us realized that a spanking was supposed to be very painful. I would complain and Mrs. Lion would avoid spots that were particularly sensitive. Now, I don’t complain and she isn’t concerned with how much I like what she is doing. I’m supposed to hate it. I do.
Since neither of us has any memory of being physically punished as children, we have to learn things many people know from their childhood experiences. We’re still learning. The fine art of discipline has evolved and has been passed down from parents to children over centuries. It’s not as simple as we thought. We still have a lot to learn; for example, scolding. Stay tuned. We will keep you posted with our progress.
Hot Sauce
Lion always seems to have an idea for a post. He’ll say he has no idea but then he pulls one out at the last minute. He’s got years of experience with BDSM and, let’s face it, he’s got his fantasies. I’m sure there are women out there who have fantasies about locking up a guy’s penis or whomping him with a paddle. I’m not one of them. I’m not denying that enforced chastity and FLR have helped us. I’m merely saying it isn’t my fantasy.
Now Lion thinks he’s broken and I’ve been trying to figure out how to fix him. Last night he said he was horny, but I’ve been in no shape to play with him. I’m hoping I can tonight. However, we still have the problem of his being broken. How can we play if he’s broken? How can I fix him if we can’t play?
In his post this morning, Lion says he wants to fix me. He wants to figure out why I’m broken. He wants me to want sex again. Otherwise, he thinks, we’ll both be broken and neither of us will want sex. I agree that most of our brokenness is between our ears. I have no idea how to fix me. Are we at an impasse? Nope. I’m okay being broken. I want to fix Lion.
Lion says he wants to spice things up – mostly for me. I wonder how many people think we don’t already have a spicy enough sex life. Even if I was interested in sex, it wouldn’t be spicy. I mean, I’m not missionary all the way, but I’m not very spicy either. How much spicier does Lion want it? I guess we’ll find out.
Post 2,000: The next step
This is our 2,000th post. It’s also only a few days until my third year locked in a chastity device ends. When I started this blog, I never considered that we would have enough to write about to fill 1,000,000 words and 2,000 posts. Truth is, I didn’t think I would be still doing enforced chastity this long. I’m proud of us for both accomplishments. I’m also very proud that our readership has steadily grown each year. It feels good knowing that we are able to provide useful and interesting content for you.
We were going to do a he said, she said today answering questions from our readers. We didn’t get much response when we asked for questions. If it weren’t for our web analytics I would think that no one reads us. But I get it; very few people who read blogs join the conversation; much the pity.
I’ve been reflecting on the last three years. One thing I said yesterday was that before enforced chastity, almost all my sex came from my left hand . Yes, that’s the one I use to masturbate. Mrs. Lion commented nothing has changed there except now it is her hand instead of mine. I got a chuckle out of that. Then, yesterday morning it stopped being funny.
What’s really changed for me sexually since enforced chastity began? The biggest change and the one I truly love is that Mrs. Lion is not only part of my sex life, she is my sex life. But my sex life is still almost entirely masturbation. Recently, my lioness has used her mouth to tease me a few times. That is certainly a nice change. I love that. Is my problem that I get hand jobs over 99% of the time? Am I bored with them? Maybe a little.
Mrs. Lion jerks me off better than I ever could. I have a good time being edged. There are only a limited number of ways to get me off. Notably absent is intercourse. Sex is only for me. Fucking is just another way for Mrs. Lion to get me off; a way that is much harder work than a hand job. Oral sex is less effort than fucking, but still much more difficult than a wank. Probably the easiest way to get me off is with the Magic Wand.
Don’t get me wrong. I love all those methods. I do! But there is something missing. A hand job compared with intercourse is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, but the pig is committed. A hand job isn’t as intimate. Obviously, it would be impossible for Mrs. Lion to provide intercourse or oral sex every time we are sexual. The good, ol’ hand job has to remain the workhorse of my edging and ejaculations.
When we first started posting, Mrs. Lion mentioned that her loss of interest in sex was due to the fact that I don’t initiate. She backed off that position and later claimed it was just some change in her. Then, about a month ago, I gave her an orgasm, then a week later, another. She liked them but cautioned me that she wasn’t sure how often she would like to repeat this. She did say she thought I should continue.
Then, a few weeks ago we were talking about her orgasms. She mentioned very casually that she liked that I initiated the most recent ones. At the time the light bulb didn’t go on. But when I was thinking about her hand job comment in my post, those other words came up in my mind. Put my thoughts about hand jobs together with her comment about me initiating sex and we have something we need to handle.
It may seem odd that a caged male is ruminating about what amounts to vanilla sex. But that’s me: odd. It seems that if I were to initiate giving Mrs. Lion orgasms, her interest in sex would begin to return. Conversely, if I stopped initiating, it would recede again. This seems to be the case now. Ok, you say, the answer is simple. Just regularly get Mrs. Lion off.
Brilliant idea! Oh, wait, my lack of initiation is what caused the problem in the first place. Are we back to where we were three years ago? The only difference now is that I get orgasms regularly? Could be. We’ve been really good about working out enforced chastity and domestic discipline. I wonder if the same techniques would apply here as well. They might.
There is one big difference: I figured out how to make things work that affected me. Mrs. Lion used my suggestions to get things going. If I do the same thing again, this time for Mrs.Lion as the target, will it work? I initiated my own demise, so to speak. I taught Mrs. Lion how to tame me. I think I have been waiting for Mrs. Lion to work out how to train me to initiate her pleasure.
I suggested basing my orgasms on her coming a certain number of times. That didn’t appeal at all. The reason, I think, is that she would be indirectly initiating her own orgasms. That’s something she seems incapable of doing. Another thought I had is similar. What if Saturday, for example, is my orgasm day. What if Mrs. Lion has to have an orgasm before I am eligible for one myself. It doesn’t mean that if she gets one, I will. But if she doesn’t have one by Saturday, I will have to wait another week. Sort of a lion incentive plan. That might be too much pressure for her. But what if I only had to initiate. She could decide she didn’t want one. That could count too.
There is one very big barrier to me initiating with Mrs. Lion: she’s always busy. We often relax together in bed. Invariably, she is deeply involved with her iPad, either reading or playing games. I always feel I am interrupting her. She says that she feels the same way when I am watching TV. I keep reminding her that nothing would make me happier than have her reach over to the remote and hit “Pause”. She never does that. She usually waits for me to signal I want to be teased.
We have a communication issue. It’s time for a signal that indicates interest. In my case, given my status as submissive to her, pausing my TV show is perfect. Maybe she can put down her iPad and signal me. It may be all she wants is a snuggle, but if I get a signal I can try to see if she wants more.
It’s very difficult for me to interrupt her to give her sex. I don’t know why, but it is. I think I have to learn initiating the same way she learned spanking. We need a somewhat artificial situation that serves to teach me and encourage me. If my gentle, sweet lioness learned to bruise my bottom. I can certainly learn to just go for the gold with her. I need help getting started.
