By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Punishment, Spanking

Lion and I are still very tired. You’d think we’d be able to sleep better now that we’re back together. We just have trouble sleeping period. My eyes were trying to slam shut all day yesterday so I delayed punishing Lion for interrupting me. It all works out though. Today is punishment day.

I guess Lion needs a refresher course in not interrupting. He did it a lot on Saturday and by Sunday I was completely done with it. I can understand when he gets home from a trip and he’s excited to tell me about it and excited to see me, but I will only tolerate it for so long. I know, I know. I shouldn’t tolerate it at all. He should perhaps get one warning glare and the next time it happens he’s toast.

Ordinarily I’d hit the end of my rope faster when I’m tired. I don’t know why it took me all the way to Sunday to put my foot down. He makes feeble excuses about why he does it. Not really excuses. That makes it sound like he’s trying to justify it to get out of punishment. He’s merely explaining himself. He knows he won’t escape once I put my foot down.

Tonight I will whomp on his sexy buns until I get them a wonderful shade of rosy pink and I’m satisfied that he’ll remember not to interrupt. For a few days at least. And then we’ll test out my handiwork on the welcome mat. Lion has suggested, silly boy, that I make a hole in the flap designed to hit his balls so I can tie his balls and affix the flap to them. I then suggested that I make him wear his collar so I can tie the flap to his collar. The problem with that is that he can sit hunched over to avoid having the mat dig into his balls. We’ll have to experiment to see what works best. And by that I mean what causes Lion the most problems.

Lion has suggested I take more active control in our FLR. I don’t know about that. I understand the appeal for him. I’m not sure there’s much appeal for me. Why would I want to order for him in a restaurant or tell him he can’t have ice cream or stop him from watching what he wants to watch on TV? Well, duh. Obviously because he wants me to. And I’ll probably end up trying it, kicking and screaming the whole way. And eventually I’ll just keep doing it because that’s my M.O. Not that there won’t be any positive aspects from it. If I stop Lion from eating ice cream or a big steak, his health will improve. For that reason alone it’s worth the effort. So off I go.

[Lion – Actually my motive is not just to have Mrs. Lion arbitrarily exercise control. There are two areas that her attention (and paddle) would provide a lot of help. One is weight control. Ordering for me and otherwise keeping me on the straight and narrow would be great. It would also help her raise her own awareness of what she eats. The second area is critical for me. I need her “help” remembering to do the exercises I need for physical therapy. I’m near the end of the time the repair will be plastic enough to let me extend my range of motion. Her paddle and crop will motivate me. I tend to be lazy about doing them. Once I get a little more physical therapy done, she could help me get the exercise I need to build back my strength and help thin me down.]

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Punishment, Spanking

Maybe I can retire as the architect of my own demise. Mrs. Lion has picked up the mantle and is off and running coming up with new ways to torture me. This is very gratifying in one way and scary in another. When I come up with new ways she can get me, I have time to consider and fantasize about the activity before i suggest it to Mrs. Lion.

Now, unless she writes about it here, any new “ideas” will be surprises to me at the very time I experience them. That is totally new to me. If she hints about something new in a post, I’m free to imagine what fresh hell I will experience at a later time.

Mrs. Lion has come up with ideas before. She had a record of not following through. I know that’s changed now. For one thing, she is well aware how I count on things she tells me. For another, she has turned a new leaf. I don’t want to say that 2.0 has arrived full time. I’m not sure what that would mean. But I am positive that my sweet lioness has taken a much more active interest in what happens to me after a spanking.

Almost all spankings in our house are associated with me being naughty. We have some rules I am very unlikely to avoid breaking on a regular basis. Getting food on my shirt is the best example. That rule was adopted for the express purpose at giving us practice with punishment. It’s served very well.

And, it will continue to serve. Additionally, Mrs. Lion has become far more vigilant discovering infractions. As a result, punishment is a very frequent activity. I am spanked at least once a week; often more frequently. Don’t get me wrong, I have learned to hate being punished. But that isn’t the point at all.

We both need to learn how to function in a disciplinary relationship. It takes time to build the length and ferocity of a spanking. Similarly, it takes time to develop and execute spanking deserts, like corner time.

I am getting a lot of value from this program. I don’t know exactly why, but I am. Mrs.Lion appears to have noticed this. I wonder if she is also getting value as well. Changes, like adding domestic discipline, take time to establish. It also takes quite a bit of time to see if this practice fits into our lives.

It appears that, like enforced male chastity, it is fitting. Punishments have become an accepted part of our routine. There is no fuss or muss. Mrs. Lion gets her paddle of choice, I assume the position, and off we go. She generally tells me why I’m being spanked. I almost always know anyway. There is no ritual. It’s just another part of our life together. That’s how I think it’s supposed to be.

By:
In: Punishment, Spanking
lion's bruised bottom
This is Lion’s butt today, four days after he was spanked. The bruises are fading, but still nasty looking. He says it doesn’t hurt today.

I think I last punished Lion on Sunday night. He already had another infraction in the chamber, so to speak. Although he wants me to punish him closer to the time he breaks a rule, I haven’t really figured out how to do so. I mean, if he breaks three rules before I’m able to punish him, does he get three times as many swats? Should the swats be harder? Do I just tell him the swats are for all three issues? I could be spanking him for days on end if I punish him on separate nights.

Last night we encountered a different problem. When Lion bent over to be swatted, I noticed some bruising from the other day. As I said, I think it was Sunday. The bruise had survived several days. And it was fairly deep. Every swat jiggled his butt and he felt it in the bruise. For the most part I avoided the area but I did give quite a few hard smacks in the general vicinity.

The frustrating part is that when I try to bruise him I can’t, and when I don’t try to I do. What’s up with that? I guess I just have to pretend I don’t really want to bruise him and maybe sneak up on it so he does bruise. The reverse psychology of effective spanking. (rolling my eyes)

The bigger issue, of course, is that you don’t want to re-injure a bruised area. I’m sure some people will disagree with that statement. A boxer always keeps punching the bruised and bloody eye of his opponent. The warrior always goes for the weakened area. The difference is that we don’t really want to do harm to our “victim”. Depending on your relationship, you care about him on some level. We want to be safe.

Had I been doing my job and paying attention to Lion’s posterior over the past few days, I would have known he was bruised before I decided to spank him and I would have known I shouldn’t spank him. I do have other ways to punish him. I could have combined “desserts” and had him sit on the punishment stool in the corner with soap in his mouth. I could have used some of the menthol rub on his balls.

I’ll need to do more inspections of his sexy buns. I know. What a rotten task that is! Examining his cute tushy. I think I can do that. I’m looking forward to doing that. Yum!

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Spanking
spanking poster
This is a terrific poster. Click it to enlarge. It’s wonderful advice. I should print this for the bedroom wall. 🙂

Spanking is becoming more and more popular as an adult recreation. It’s also the go-to punishment for those of us who are in FLR and incorporate domestic discipline in our lifestyles. There is some useful science in the art of spanking that can be helpful to both beginners and experts.

Before going into that, I want to clarify some terminology. First, I consider domestic discipline to be a feature of some female led relationships. I don’t consider it a culture in itself. If punishment is part of your relationship, it is what I consider domestic discipline. Second, a “play” spanking is one that is administered to satisfy a need of the person being spanked. If you are someone who likes to spank others, then you need to find a bottom who wants you to spank him. The purpose of a play spanking is to provide satisfaction to the people in the scene, Third, a punishment spanking is intended to express displeasure and, hopefully, deter future infractions. It should be painful.

How can the same practice be both fun and punishment? That’s the question that, I think, causes a lot of confusion. When I asked Mrs. Lion to punish me, I suggested that a punishment spanking is a series of very hard swats with no warmup. We tried this for some time.  Yes, it was very painful, but it hurt so much that Mrs. Lion couldn’t really hit me more than 10 times. It made its point, but not in a way that either of us felt was right.

I have over 20 years experience as a spanker and occasional spankee. I’ve taught many workshops on the subject. It’s amazing how stupid I got about this when I was to be punished. We’ve fixed the problem. Here’s how I suggest we differentiate between a play spanking and punishment.

I’ll start with the play spanking. Most will agree the purpose is to put the spankee into an endorphin “high”. Some call this “sub space”. It’s a state that feels incredible. Swats don’t hurt; even hard ones. They just feel good. It’s kind of a dreamlike state. Some fall asleep when they experience it. It’s similar to a runner’s high. It’s one of the big motivators for long-distance runners.

Many believe that this high is caused by brain chemicals released in response to “injury”. It’s part of the fight-or-flight system we all have. With spanking,the swats cause enough “injury” to trigger the brain to produce endorphins and other brain chemicals. The idea is to start with lighter swats and slowly build up, keeping pace with the bottom’s endorphin build up. It’s easy to do this.

At the very beginning of the spanking, use fairly gentle swats. They should make the skin start to turn pink. These light swats do two things: They bring blood to the surface of the skin and warm it as well as let the brain know there may be trouble coming. The idea is to slowly increase intensity. Some reaction from the bottom is fine. It takes time before those brain chemicals kick in.

Then increase intensity so that the level of complaint stays at about the same level with the harder swats. As you observe your bottom, you will see the changes in his responses. After a while, he will seem to welcome and encourage you to hit harder. That’s the high  he wants. At that point you can perform a memorable spanking. Don’t expect useful feedback from your bottom. You can do real injury without any response. Be careful not to go too far.

Now, you may be wondering how to do a punishment spanking so that the bottom feels pain all the way through. It’s actually very easy. Begin the same way you would with a play spanking. Give your bottom the stimulation to allow the skin to pink up and his brain to start producing endorphins. Now, start hitting harder. Look for him to respond more and more vigorously to your beating. However, moderate your swats to keep him on the edge of his ability to handle the pain. As time goes by, increase the intensity and speed of your swats. You want him to call “Yellow”. Now  you know you are the point when the spanking really begins.

After he cries “Yellow”, don’t go all the way back to gentle swats. Just reduce the intensity enough to prevent him from losing it. Then maintain that level and speed. Sneak in some much harder swats to make sure he isn’t drifting off. If he seems to be, hit faster and harder to wake him up. You have to stay ahead of his endorphins.

We know the objective of a play spanking is a contented bottom swimming in sub space. What about the punished bottom? There are a few schools of thought on this. If you have learned (takes practice with your submissive partner) to keep just ahead of his endorphins, you will be able to increase your intensity and speed to the point he will produce tears. At that point he is experiencing a different kind of effect from his brain chemistry.

I can’t think of a label for this state. He’s in a kind of sub space. He isn’t feeling pleasure from the spanking; just the opposite. It hurts like hell. He feels like his butt is on fire. But, when the spanking ends, he feels calm and extremely submissive. The production of tears seems to be the indicator that he has reached this point. Continuing once he is in tears will produce crying. Depending on the crime he committed, you might want to continue on some time after he starts to cry. I don’t have personal experience with this, but I believe the crying is genuine remorse for the offense and a cathartic release for the bottom.

When you are done beating him, remember he needs you to be maternal and comfort him. Ask him if he has learned his lesson. Treat him like the little boy he is at that moment. Then, complete the punishment with a “time out”. Usually this is corner time. The corner time serves two important purposes. It focuses him on the pain of his spanking and allows him to consider the consequence of his offense. It also gives his body a chance to stabilize and allow his brain chemicals to return to normal.

As those chemicals wear off, the pain in his bottom gets more intense. Those brain chemicals provide a form of anesthesia. That, by the way, is desirable.  It allows you to hurt his bottom enough to provide a lasting reminder. Of course you want him to have that souvenir of your efforts. The bottom in a play spanking will also feel those lasting effects once the sub space wears off.

One last note: I’ve never reached the point of tears in a spanking from Mrs. Lion. She is working her way up to it, I think. It takes a lot of time to learn how to do that build up. It also takes a lot of bravery and trust to take the risk of spanking your loved one to tears. A good thing to do is to ask him if he wants you to go that far. After all, even domestic discipline is consensual. In my case, if Mrs. Lion asks me if I want her to beat me to tears when she is ready, I’ll give permission for her to do it when she wants. I am not consulted before I get punished. Make sense?

I hope this provides you with some useful insights into scientific spanking. Happy tails to you!