spanking poster
This is a terrific poster. Click it to enlarge. It’s wonderful advice. I should print this for the bedroom wall. 🙂

Spanking is becoming more and more popular as an adult recreation. It’s also the go-to punishment for those of us who are in FLR and incorporate domestic discipline in our lifestyles. There is some useful science in the art of spanking that can be helpful to both beginners and experts.

Before going into that, I want to clarify some terminology. First, I consider domestic discipline to be a feature of some female led relationships. I don’t consider it a culture in itself. If punishment is part of your relationship, it is what I consider domestic discipline. Second, a “play” spanking is one that is administered to satisfy a need of the person being spanked. If you are someone who likes to spank others, then you need to find a bottom who wants you to spank him. The purpose of a play spanking is to provide satisfaction to the people in the scene, Third, a punishment spanking is intended to express displeasure and, hopefully, deter future infractions. It should be painful.

How can the same practice be both fun and punishment? That’s the question that, I think, causes a lot of confusion. When I asked Mrs. Lion to punish me, I suggested that a punishment spanking is a series of very hard swats with no warmup. We tried this for some time.  Yes, it was very painful, but it hurt so much that Mrs. Lion couldn’t really hit me more than 10 times. It made its point, but not in a way that either of us felt was right.

I have over 20 years experience as a spanker and occasional spankee. I’ve taught many workshops on the subject. It’s amazing how stupid I got about this when I was to be punished. We’ve fixed the problem. Here’s how I suggest we differentiate between a play spanking and punishment.

I’ll start with the play spanking. Most will agree the purpose is to put the spankee into an endorphin “high”. Some call this “sub space”. It’s a state that feels incredible. Swats don’t hurt; even hard ones. They just feel good. It’s kind of a dreamlike state. Some fall asleep when they experience it. It’s similar to a runner’s high. It’s one of the big motivators for long-distance runners.

Many believe that this high is caused by brain chemicals released in response to “injury”. It’s part of the fight-or-flight system we all have. With spanking,the swats cause enough “injury” to trigger the brain to produce endorphins and other brain chemicals. The idea is to start with lighter swats and slowly build up, keeping pace with the bottom’s endorphin build up. It’s easy to do this.

At the very beginning of the spanking, use fairly gentle swats. They should make the skin start to turn pink. These light swats do two things: They bring blood to the surface of the skin and warm it as well as let the brain know there may be trouble coming. The idea is to slowly increase intensity. Some reaction from the bottom is fine. It takes time before those brain chemicals kick in.

Then increase intensity so that the level of complaint stays at about the same level with the harder swats. As you observe your bottom, you will see the changes in his responses. After a while, he will seem to welcome and encourage you to hit harder. That’s the high  he wants. At that point you can perform a memorable spanking. Don’t expect useful feedback from your bottom. You can do real injury without any response. Be careful not to go too far.

Now, you may be wondering how to do a punishment spanking so that the bottom feels pain all the way through. It’s actually very easy. Begin the same way you would with a play spanking. Give your bottom the stimulation to allow the skin to pink up and his brain to start producing endorphins. Now, start hitting harder. Look for him to respond more and more vigorously to your beating. However, moderate your swats to keep him on the edge of his ability to handle the pain. As time goes by, increase the intensity and speed of your swats. You want him to call “Yellow”. Now  you know you are the point when the spanking really begins.

After he cries “Yellow”, don’t go all the way back to gentle swats. Just reduce the intensity enough to prevent him from losing it. Then maintain that level and speed. Sneak in some much harder swats to make sure he isn’t drifting off. If he seems to be, hit faster and harder to wake him up. You have to stay ahead of his endorphins.

We know the objective of a play spanking is a contented bottom swimming in sub space. What about the punished bottom? There are a few schools of thought on this. If you have learned (takes practice with your submissive partner) to keep just ahead of his endorphins, you will be able to increase your intensity and speed to the point he will produce tears. At that point he is experiencing a different kind of effect from his brain chemistry.

I can’t think of a label for this state. He’s in a kind of sub space. He isn’t feeling pleasure from the spanking; just the opposite. It hurts like hell. He feels like his butt is on fire. But, when the spanking ends, he feels calm and extremely submissive. The production of tears seems to be the indicator that he has reached this point. Continuing once he is in tears will produce crying. Depending on the crime he committed, you might want to continue on some time after he starts to cry. I don’t have personal experience with this, but I believe the crying is genuine remorse for the offense and a cathartic release for the bottom.

When you are done beating him, remember he needs you to be maternal and comfort him. Ask him if he has learned his lesson. Treat him like the little boy he is at that moment. Then, complete the punishment with a “time out”. Usually this is corner time. The corner time serves two important purposes. It focuses him on the pain of his spanking and allows him to consider the consequence of his offense. It also gives his body a chance to stabilize and allow his brain chemicals to return to normal.

As those chemicals wear off, the pain in his bottom gets more intense. Those brain chemicals provide a form of anesthesia. That, by the way, is desirable.  It allows you to hurt his bottom enough to provide a lasting reminder. Of course you want him to have that souvenir of your efforts. The bottom in a play spanking will also feel those lasting effects once the sub space wears off.

One last note: I’ve never reached the point of tears in a spanking from Mrs. Lion. She is working her way up to it, I think. It takes a lot of time to learn how to do that build up. It also takes a lot of bravery and trust to take the risk of spanking your loved one to tears. A good thing to do is to ask him if he wants you to go that far. After all, even domestic discipline is consensual. In my case, if Mrs. Lion asks me if I want her to beat me to tears when she is ready, I’ll give permission for her to do it when she wants. I am not consulted before I get punished. Make sense?

I hope this provides you with some useful insights into scientific spanking. Happy tails to you!