By:
In: Lion's Journal, Sex

According to a study recently reported by PBS,  looked at sexual frequency and marital happiness. The study found that happiness increased with sexual frequency up to once a week. Increased frequency beyond that produced no improvement. The original data came from the late 1990’s and another study was done a year or so ago and it confirmed the earlier results. I’m pretty sure that what the study counted as sex involved sexual contact for the partners; where at least one had an orgasm. Obviously those of us practicing enforced chastity generally don’t get to have an orgasm every week. Yet, based on our marriage and what other bloggers report, we are a very happily married group. That makes sense since people in an unhappy relationship aren’t going to have the trust or interest required for enforced chastity.

Since there are no studies I can find on enforced male chastity, we need to consider how the results of the reported study might apply to us. I think it all depends on the definition of “sex”. The simplest and most obvious is that sex includes an orgasm for one or both partners. Another is that sex constitutes any direct genital stimulation whether or not it results in orgasm. When I am edged by Mrs. Lion that certainly counts as sex at least in terms of my emotional satisfaction. Since she is not interested in orgasms for herself, I wonder if the study would imagine we are not a happy couple.

I also wonder if sexual activity is just an indicator of the connection between the two partners rather than the reason they are happy. It stands to reason that a happy couple would want more sex than an alienated one. The study apparently didn’t ask the couples what sexual activity they had; just the frequency it occurred. We have sexual activity much more than once a week. It just usually doesn’t result in an orgasm for either of us. Being the sort of lion I am, I suggested to Mrs. Lion that at least weekly orgasms would make us count as the happiest of couples. She met that suggestion with an eye roll. It was worth a shot.

Clearly, what counts as “sex” is in the mind of the participants. In our world, sex is defined as genital contact for either of us. Orgasm isn’t usually involved. I don’t think that just wearing a chastity device counts. In any case, this is a very interesting study. The most fascinating part to me is that frequency greater than once a week didn’t show any improvement in the relationship. I wonder why that is. I’ll never find out.

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

This morning we were watching TV and a lady said to her husband, “Some people are more trouble than they’re worth. It’s a good thing you’re worth a lot.” I guess that sums up how I feel about Lion. He sure is a lot of trouble, but he’s definitely worth it. All the new things he comes up with leave me shaking my head wondering how I got myself into this, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Even last night when I was getting ready to put the nasty clothes pins on him and he was asking me if I really needed to do it. Well, no. I don’t personally need to do it, but I reminded him that he wanted me to do it. Granted, I should have gotten him more excited before we did it. He wasn’t able to hold it for very long so I took it off. When I went to put another one on in a different spot he said it was too much. Lesson learned. Next time he will be more turned on beforehand.

We’re not in a race. Nothing is dependent upon his learning to take these clothes pins. It’s not like I’ll extend his wait until he can handle them. We never made a deal like that. Besides, I want him to have his next orgasm almost as much as he does. Why would I extend it? For some silly clothes pins? Nope. He’s got a few other ways he could earn extra time, but this isn’t one of them.

I did get him all riled up eventually. I used the Magic Wand again. It still amazes me how excited it gets him despite his telling me vibrators never did anything for him. This one works very well. I’ve proven that I don’t have to use my hands at all. The Magic Wand can do all the work. Of course, I like to use my hands and I think he likes it better when I do. [Lion- Of course I do.] It’s nice to have another “weapon” in my arsenal.

My favorite weapon is my mouth. I think Lion is partial to it, too. [Lion – You better believe it!]  I’m not sure what it is, I just love having him in my mouth. That’s something he’ll never argue about.

By:
In: Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Sex

One of the least discussed aspects of enforced chastity is enjoyment, particularly for the keyholder. I know that the enforced chastity mythology claims that the keyholder gets endless pleasure from the service of her caged male. On the surface, that seems valid. But if you think about it, the keyholder could get exactly the same services and pleasure from her partner without the trouble of locking up his penis. According to the myth, males are reluctant to give orgasms to their partners unless they lose the use of their cocks. Really?

Even if that were true for some men, who would want to take the time and energy to cage them in order to force them to do what they should have been doing all along. The myth is about selfish males who are “taught” to be giving by taking away their orgasms. I will do anything for Mrs. Lion. I always felt that way. It has nothing to do with my penis.

The question of where the keyholder gets pleasure from enforced chastity is valid. It isn’t from her orgasms or his help in other things. She gets that anyway. It has to come from a new direction. Some women genuinely enjoy the role play. They have fun training their caged males. I suspect most women don’t find that aspect especially rewarding. It may be fun, but not a giant motivator.

I’ve long wondered why Mrs. Lion has been so diligent with our enforced chastity and FLM. She isn’t in it for the sex. She knows that it means a lot to me and making me happy certainly is a key motivator. Over time, I think there are other opportunities for her to get satisfaction.

Thursday night we played. It was an extremely intense edging session. I was sure several times that she was going to let me come. She even speeded up when I got close. But she stopped just before the happy ending. She was incredibly close over and over. There were no ruined orgasms and no satisfaction for me. It was perfect edging that left me a puddle of frustration.

Later in the evening and Friday morning she seemed very pleased with what she did. She should be. That pleasure suggests a way she might find more satisfaction and at the same time make me happier too. We know that I have a cycle of frustration that is well understood. What if using her considerable skill, Mrs. Lion could change the cycle and extend my increasing sexual frustration longer?

We know that yesterday was my fifth day and the day I am most frustrated. I wonder if the sixth day letdown and then the gradual loss of interest can be reversed by Mrs. Lion’s skilled hands. Over time I wonder if she can keep me at a high level of need for as long as she wants. This is the sort of challenge she may enjoy. I realize that if she is successful and I am still very horny next Thursday when my next orgasm is scheduled, that she might extend my wait to continue keeping me frustrated. I don’t mind if she wants to do that. It’s a valuable experiment.

I realize that this method of delivering satisfaction to her can result in my waits being extended. I don’t mind. I know I hate the frustration, but I like the way it meets what I asked her to do for me. I think it is very important for me to help my lioness find ways to get pleasure and satisfaction out of my enforced chastity. Are there ways I haven’t considered?

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Sex

The clouds have returned after a brief, sunny respite. After a three day hiatus, play is back to normal as well. I’m still pretty tired from the issue with my eye. Things are improving, or at least not getting worse. Times like this remind me how lucky I am. I know that the love of my life will help me get through anything that befalls me.

One issue the confronts most of us who want to maintain a power exchange like enforced chastity is that over time the exchange becomes just one more part of life. Living with a chastity device locked on my penis is routine. It’s the way things are and will always be. Even though I get some time without it, even then I forget it’s not there. I can’t speak for her, but Mrs. Lion expects me to be locked in too. I think it’s passed the point of being something I want and is now part of us.

The same is true of our play sessions. It’s our sex life. I’ve learned that edging is the norm; orgasms come at intervals, but I no longer expect sexual stimulation to imply that I will ejaculate. That is very infrequent. The vast majority of my sexual pleasure is produced by Mrs. Lion’s hands. Sometimes she uses her mouth, much more infrequently she will ride me. I never masturbate, but my lioness masturbates me almost every night. Of course, I’m not masturbated to orgasm, but her hand gives me a very vigorous workout edging me over and over.

None of this was typical of us two years ago. In 2014 we rarely has any sexual activity. What we did have was an occasional hand job to orgasm. Neither of us was happy with it. In one sense things haven’t changed. Hand jobs are still most of my sexual experience. But boy are they different! They are both better and worse: Better in that they are beautifully executed and work me into a lather. Worse because they almost never result in orgasm.

We are both having more fun. Granted, it isn’t the same kind of fun for each of us. I’m both loving the sexual stimulation and hating the frustration. Mrs. Lion is enjoying arousing me and eventually making me ejaculate. We are both loving the increased communication and affection. We are not just communicating about sex and power exchange. The power exchange dynamic has facilitated more openness and willingness to change. Mrs. Lion is beginning to let me know what she wants and doesn’t want. We haven’t quite gotten to the point that she will punish me for doing something she doesn’t like, but we are moving in that direction.

We’ve made a lot of progress. I think our next step will be reward and punishment. That is a very difficult step for both of us. Enforced chastity was relatively simple to implement. For Mrs. Lion it was doing something that would make me happy. Only after considerable time passed did we realize it was much more than something to please me. I think that reward and punishment will be even better for us both. No matter how much I talk about wanting to surrender, I know that I like having my own way and taking charge. It’s easy for Mrs. Lion to let me. But we both know it would be better for us if she would expect her wants and needs to be met and to take whatever action is necessary to assure I fulfill them. We’ve been working on this around the edges. I’m not sure what it will take for us both to plunge in. But have no fear, we will. What we have done so far have been very good for me. I’m being trained to be a much easier lion to live with.