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In: Edging, Lion's Journal, Orgasm, Sex

Our marriage has improved greatly thanks to enforced chastity. I’ve been thinking about why this is so. I realized that one of the activities a lot of us do may offer a way for people to sustain intimacy and active sexual activity even if they aren’t involved in any kink.

As we males age, our sexual prowess diminishes. We take longer to recharge (refractory time) between ejaculations. It can take more stimulation to get hard. Our overall interest in sexual activity can decline significantly. That was certainly the case with me. I never was good at initiating sex and as I aged I got worse. Mrs. Lion was very unhappy that I wasn’t initiating and distance grew between us.

But now things are very different. I am almost always very interested in sex. It takes Mrs. Lion almost no time to get me hard and ready. Intimacy in our daily lives has grown significantly. I believe the change is due to an activity we call edging. People who practice enforced chastity understand this activity well. If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s stimulating the man until he is just about to ejaculate and then stop the stimulation. He is brought to the edge of orgasm, but if hi isn’t stimulated enough to actually have one. We do this as part of a power exchange. But if you take the power exchange away, the activity has a lot of value.

Ejaculation is the biological completion of male sexual activity.We males are wired to ejaculate any time we can. When we are of reproductive age we can have several ejaculations in an hour. As we age, we lose that ability. But if our partner edges us instead of giving us orgasms, we are ready to go again in seconds. As long as the ejaculation process isn’t initiated, we need almost no time to recover and do it again.

In the beginning I felt that edging cheated me of the pleasure I so badly wanted. Over time I have learned that each time I am edged I get 90% of the pleasure of an orgasm. I still want that extra 10%, but I still have fun. Sound kinky? It isn’t. Many cultures practice edging as a form of normal sex. To some it has spiritual significance.

Let’s go back to that marriage where sex has become almost absent. If the couple decides to try this, it starts out with the female partner learning how to get her man right to the edge without going over. Masturbating him and watching his reactions as he gets more and more aroused will give you a lot of information. The first time take him all the way to ejaculation. Give him a nice orgasm. Note any changes in him just as he gets ready to ejaculate. That’s your signal to stop when edging. It will take time to perfect. You don’t need to get him just one stroke away from ejaculation, just close enough that he experiences that amazing “I’m going to come” feeling.

After stopping, wait a few seconds and then touch his balls or otherwise let him know you are there for him, but stay away from his penis until you are sure he has calmed down. The repeat. An edging session can include as many cycles as you and he want. Eventually he will lose the ability to get to the edge and just get soft. He’ll be ready again in a few hours. For our purposes it’s better to avoid going that far.

As his partner, before, during, or after the edging you can have him give you orgasms. In the beginning restrict them to oral or hand release. The female partner can have all the orgasms she wants. But it is important that he not have one.

What about orgasms for him? He needs to get them too. You both have to decide how often. Bear in mind that after he has one his sexual interest will be significantly diminished for some time. This varies widely among men. You can experiment with the interval. I suggest starting with one a week and then increasing or decreasing time as you both want.

Regardless of how often he comes, it’s important that edging sessions take place very regularly. Some couples do it almost every day. Others every other day or even every third day. After he gets accustomed to non-orgasmic sex, the man will enjoy edging almost as much as orgasms. The woman will probably feel the same way. Each edging session is an opportunity for the woman to have orgasms herself.

After he learns to expect and manage edging, he can learn to delay orgasm himself. If he tells his partner when he is about to come, she can encourage him to hang in there and give him an extra stroke or two. Over time he will gain some ability to recognize when it is too late and he will ejaculate. Once he knows that, you can have intercourse without him ejaculating. Just let him stop when he gets too close and take a few seconds to recover. He can always finish his partner with his tongue or finger.

The reason edging is so helpful is that a couple can have sex without being restricted by the reduced ability of a man to have many orgasms. Make no mistake, edging is real sex to a man. It is to me! I get hornier after each session. By the fifth day I get hard like a 30 year old man almost the instant Mrs. Lion touches my penis. I love that feeling. Edging helps us defy age and lets us enjoy sex like much younger people. It takes some time and effort but it really paid off for us. We added the kink of a male chastity device and transfer of sexual power to Mrs. Lion. You don’t need to do that part unless it appeals to you. Edging is just as useful without the kink.

By:
In: Edging, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Sex

This is probably the worst time for me to write a post like this. I am extremely horny and my imagination runs wild when in this state. OK, you’ve been warned. I’ve been thinking about Mrs. Lion’s latest declaration. She said that she likes it better when I am very horny. I asked her why. She said that I get hard almost immediately and I am very easy to tease. I asked if there were any changes in my non-sexual behavior. She said I whine more. I commented that extra whining must be annoying to her. She replied that she didn’t say she doesn’t like that kind of whining.

She’s decided to continue withholding orgasm until she feels the time is “right”. That’s a very hot thought to me. I really like her decision. I take it to mean that when stimulating me gets more difficult, she may consider giving me an orgasm to start the ball rolling again. That’s just my interpretation, not a fact.

I’ve also been thinking about putting a “price” on orgasm when she decides it might be time. It could be having me accept 50 fast punishment swats without moving. If I move, sorry we will try again another time. Or, it could be holding a number of tiny clothespins on head of my penis for a period of time. When I suggested that maybe there could be a price on orgasm, her reply was, “You’ll just say you will wait.”

That’s been true up to now. But she never pushed me hard enough to find out if there is a time I will make a painful trade. Or maybe the price can go down the longer I wait. In any case it may provide some additional amusement for Mrs. Lion.

One of the blogs I regularly read, “Real Women Don’t Do Housework“, had an interesting post about motivation. It’s a brilliant idea on how to avoid whining and arguing about chores or other decisions.  It uses the desire for release to control practical matters in a very humane way.

I realize that when I consider motivation for me, it is always the threat of painful punishment. In my mind I see the ability to give me pain as a strong statement of power over me. Of course it is, but an even stronger statement is made when my lioness shows sexual control. Edging me is very pleasurable, but it also makes the strong point that no matter how much I want release, I won’t get it unless Mrs. Lion decides she wants me to have an orgasm.

Impromptu edging, just once to make a point, as “Real Women Don’t Do Housework” suggests, not only sends a powerful message, it uses male hormones to produce an amicable result to a situation that could have been unpleasant. Since I am always locked in a chastity device, that spur-of-the-moment edging requires removing at least my cage. The ring can remain on. That’s a logistical problem for us since my key is in a lion-proof strong box under the bed. That can be too much trouble for Mrs. Lion. I had a thought about that. Maybe we could put the key on a necklace that she could wear when she is up and about at home. Other times it could go back into the strong box.  Alternatively, she could let me run wild when we are alone together and both awake.

With the ability to use either the paddle or the penis as a way of modifying my behavior, I think that Mrs. Lion has a lot more opportunity for control. I think it is very interesting that edging sends two messages: It is the most pleasurable sensation a male can enjoy other than full orgasm, and the fact that the orgasm is withheld sends a very strong message about who has the power. I guess we are truly able to be led around by our cocks if the right technique is applied

By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

Yesterday I told Lion he’s easier to deal with when he’s horny than when he thinks he’s broken. He wondered why. I think it’s because it requires very little effort to get him aroused. When he thinks he’s broken he’s sort of depressed and even getting a smile out of him is difficult. He thought it might be because he is more attentive when he’s horny. Nope. He doesn’t turn into the sniveling little peon of internet legend. He’s just a happy, if somewhat frustrated, Lion.

Last night we couldn’t find the collars we were looking for. Lion thinks he might have gotten rid of them when we were no longer playing. That’s too bad. He had a nice leather one and a red nylon one that was more comfortable. Both had tags with his name on them along with my cell phone number to “report if naughty”. Of course, he very rarely ever wore them out of the house so no one would have seen the tag anyway, but it was fun. I did find the Christmas collar with jingle bells on it and he found two other collars. One locks on with a padlock and the other is very wide. For last night’s festivities I used the jingle bell collar because it’s nylon and more comfortable. I only want him feeling the pain I want him feeling.

Once he was handcuffed to his collar, I brought out the goodie bag of toys. I told him he was trapped and I could do anything I wanted to him. That’s almost always true anyway, but just saying that made Mr. Weenie jump to attention. I tried the tiny clothes pins in different areas but it didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped so I abandoned that idea. Instead I used the wooden clothes pins with the sand paper on his balls. I also put regular wooden clothes pins on his boobies. He hates when I call them his boobies. Men don’t have boobies, he says. If I want to call his penis his man clit, I will do it. He has boobies for the purposes of pinching the nipples. So there!

I edged him several times, something I haven’t been able to do much lately. I got him very close quite a few times. When I was done with him I removed the clothes pins and took off the restraints. He was mumbling about being hornier than when we started. I think that’s the point. Duh! And when we were snuggling later on, I said I love him. He said if I really love him, I’d give him an orgasm. I surprised him by telling him I don’t love him that much. (Of course I do. I was only joking to see what he’d say.) So now I have a horny Lion again and I love it.

This morning he told me he was trying to get hard when he woke up. Perfect!

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

A new regime in afoot in the lions’ den. Tuesday was my scheduled orgasm day. In the past only illness has caused a delay. No longer. It’s true that I had a bonus orgasm Sunday afternoon. It was great. Monday we abstained from any activity. Tuesday Mrs. Lion resolved to make things “more entertaining”. So, Tuesday night about an hour after my maintenance spanking, Mrs. Lion brought out more spanking implements and announced we would “play”. She then got my butt pink from a spanking that actually started to get me hard.

After the spanking she began masturbating me. She edged me at least once and then announced, “You aren’t horny enough to come tonight. We’ll wait till you are really ready. We will try again tomorrow.”

What???? Scheduled orgasms are now conditional. I have to want one badly enough or I will wait longer. This is definitely something new. I have to admit that this is a good idea. It’s frustrating for me, but it makes sense. I like the idea of earning my orgasm. In this case, I do it by needing it badly enough that Mrs. Lion is moved to deliver it.

All sorts of questions spring up in my mind. Will she change the next scheduled date to be the same number of days she had originally planned? I think that is a good idea. How can I show her how badly I want to come? Is there any way I can do that or is my fate based purely on her determination? I prefer the latter, but if I have to put on a show to get off, if I am horny enough I will. There’s a nice little bit of humiliation there.

After my post yesterday about chastity theater, Mrs. Lion has informed me that she will work hard to keep me entertained. In this context, entertainment almost certainly will involve pain and humiliation. I wonder if it will entertain her as well or will it be just for my benefit?

For example, yesterday just after I wrote the first draft of this post, we exchanged emails:

Mrs Lion: “Entertaining a lion is a daunting task. I may have some ideas thought. ;-)”

Me: “The most exciting part for me is that I don’t script it and have no idea what you plan until you tell me.”

Mrs. Lion: “Sometimes you like a preview. Like if I tell you that tonight I’d like you to look for your collar because I have plans that involve your hands in cuffs hooked to the collar. I know you got a little tingle just now.”

Yup, there was some pressure on the inside of my cage. I wonder if I will be wearing the collar all evening. Ok, I’m really turned on. It’s exciting to think of my hands attached behind my head to the ring on my collar.

Mrs. Lion and I are almost opposites in the way we approach things. I tend to research extensively and then jump in with all four paws. She is much more tentative and prefers to learn by doing. Eventually she catches up and even surpasses me. I think that she is now making a leap forward in terms of our power exchange. I’m excited and a little scared about how this new phase will go.