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In: Male Control (training), Masturbation, Orgasm
Wait times between orgasms over the last year.

Sex, namely orgasms for me, have been discussed lately. When we started male chastity, the objective was to control and delay my ejaculations. Unlike many men in male chastity, my keyholder, Mrs. Lion, decided that she wanted control but not to extend the time between my orgasms to weeks or months. Initially, she made me come every night. That was too much for me. Then she extended my wait to three or four days. That was enough time to let me get really horny.

Over the years, the wait grew a little longer. She decided that seven to ten days was appropriate for me. This worked for a long time. Within the last six months, when Mrs. Lion decided to get me off, I couldn’t get there. Even though she tried almost every night, it took over twenty days before I could ejaculate. Mrs. Lion decided I needed orgasm therapy. She tried to get me off instead of teasing me. It didn’t work until February, when I ejaculated between three and ten days after each orgasm.

This was more normal. It seems that seven to ten days is a natural frequency for me. At least that’s how I’ve been over the last seven times. I wonder if this is a case of “use it or lose it.” Am I trained to perform at this frequency? Our experience with other training has demonstrated that I can be trained. I’ve learned to wait until I either get permission, or Mrs. Lion starts eating before anything goes into my mouth. I also have been trained not to masturbate and not to spill onto my shirt. I also remember (almost always) to set up the coffee pot.

Apparently, our male chastity activities have trained me to stop wanting orgasms in less than a week after the last. I am able to ejaculate in less time. I have done it in just three days. Mrs. Lion has decided to reverse this training. I’ve wondered what we can do to fix it. Julie of strictjuliespanks made an interesting observation:

“I get it if you think chastity enhances your sex lives in some way (e.g., along BDSM excitement lines), but it doesn’t seem to be doing that for you anymore. An impartial observer may even say the opposite is going on? Why not give unfettered masturbation a go for a while? Train yourself back into being more of a sexual being through self-pleasure. Don’t sex therapists prescribe something like that to get back in touch with your sexuality? With my husband, we encourage it in one another and make a bit of a game out of it by making it an on-the-spot spanking offense to be caught “red-handed” in the act.”

Julie is suggesting that I begin masturbating again. It’s almost a form of physical training to restart my libido. I’m not sure I can do that. If Mrs. Lion wants me to try, I’m seriously worried that she will stop her efforts. She also mentions that if she catches her husband jerking off, it earns him an immediate spanking. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t want me to jerk off, we can reverse Julie’s rule. If Mrs. Lion can’t make me ejaculate, I earn a spanking. If she’s up for it, she can do it immediately after stopping.

I’m not suggesting that if I can’t ejaculate every day, I get spanked. At least in the beginning, maybe give me two days to recover. On the third day and beyond, no orgasm earns a spanking. Once I reliably ejaculate in three days, go to two. What do you think, Julie?

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By:
In: Masturbation

I have resisted writing about COVID-19-related subjects. While it’s on the tip of everyone’s tongue now, we will all want to forget it as quickly as possible once the vaccine is distributed. In this age of social distance and contact-free shopping, eating out, and pretty much every other interaction, we should consider sex outside of your bubble.

If you’re lucky like me, sex is no different than it was before the pandemic. Neither Mrs. Lion nor I have any interest in sex with people other than each other. However, if you’re not that lucky, masturbation must be getting pretty boring by now. Since I’m not allowed to do it, I’ve pretty much forgotten how frustrating it can be. Sure, jerking off relieves some tension, but it doesn’t really give the kind of cataclysmic orgasms we all seek.

Women seem to have better luck masturbating. Inexpensive vibrators can provide massive orgasms for them. I’m not sure whether it’s the vibrator or superior imagination that drives these wonderful responses, but the ladies seem to do very well. In the last couple of years, vibrators aimed at the male market have surfaced. They use a relatively new, more powerful, vibrator intended to give men the same sort of results that women get. I’ve tried a representative sample and for me at least, they don’t do it. Our trusted, old Magic Wand still does the best job for me. It’s pretty expensive. Our cordless model cost $125. It does a great job when Mrs. Lion uses it on me. It’s also one of the most popular female masturbators.

Now that it’s very simple and safe to have video meetings, you would think that video phone sex would be a very popular activity. I’m sure some couples separated by thousands of miles use this medium for much more exciting masturbation. There are women who will join you in masturbation for a fee. However, it is unlikely that a traditional dating site will provide partners for mutual masturbation. I think this is primarily because women don’t get as excited by visual sexual activity as men. Most guys find watching a woman masturbate very exciting. A lot of women don’t share that interest.

This is how the Autoblow ai works. The position, stroke length, and speed are computer controlled.

There are some devices that allow control of intensity and speed to be done remotely. The idea is a partner someplace else can control the pleasure being delivered by the vibrator or other sexual device. These are expensive and not very reliable alternatives to real sex. The Autoblow is a masturbating device that uses a motor to move up and down simulating the effect of oral sex. One model includes a couple of programmed experiences. The manufacturer claims they hired a company that specializes in machine learning to develop a program that accurately simulates a real-life blow job. We have the device and played with it once. It didn’t feel very realistic to me. I’m pretty sure that I would learn to get off using it if it was part of my regular sexual diet. However, Mrs. Lion has no real interest in training me that way. Even though it’s expensive, it’s probably the best male masturbator on the market. The manufacturer frequently has discounts on the Autoblow. Check out their website.

One way or another we all have to get through this pandemic. I hope you have found a satisfactory way to have fun. I’m very lucky to be with the love of my life.

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In: Male Chastity, Female led relationship with discipline, Masturbation, Mrs Lion Comments

I think I need to address Lion’s cheating. The cheating I’m talking about is masturbating. Nope. He hasn’t and I don’t anticipate his doing so. But his concept of punishment and mine are different. When I said we’d be done, I meant just with male chastity. I didn’t mean we’d be done with snuggling and kissing and all other intimate touching. My thought was that if he had reached his limit of horniness and couldn’t possibly wait a second more for me to give him an orgasm, then he shouldn’t wait. Ever. Again.

However, that doesn’t mean I don’t get to play with him ever again. I don’t know that we’d have the same arrangement of my playing with him six out of seven nights. There’d be no urgency for that anymore. We might snuggle every night, which we’ve gotten away from with our present arrangement. I’m not sure how often he’d have an orgasm. My guess is it would be whenever he wanted one because, he’s right in this regard, once I started I’d just keep going to the logical conclusion. It would also mean no edging to heighten the excitement up to the main event.

Somehow he’s gotten the idea that he wouldn’t learn his lesson my way. Oh, there’s no lesson to learn. He doesn’t get three strikes and he’s out. He’s just out. Consider if he cheated on me with another woman. Would I give him three strikes? I doubt it. I suppose I’d have to determine if his cheating was warranted. Did I suddenly stop keeping up my end of the bargain? Did I start working late and no longer pay any attention to him? Did I take all the money and go on a cruise to Mexico and leave him behind for two weeks? If I caused his cheating, then I suppose I could give him his three strikes for cheating. Then again, I’d need to be given some strikes too.

So if he doesn’t lose the intimacy or orgasms, what good is stopping male chastity? He said he assumed I’d continue on being his disciplining wife. Would I? I don’t know. In some respects, they seem to go hand in hand. In others, I can see how they’re separate. I’m just not sure I’d feel obligated or invested enough to continue it. I’m really not sure.

I just thought of a way to put this in more perspective. What if Lion found out I was masturbating rather than asking him for sex? How would he feel? I think he’d be crushed. I wouldn’t be cheating with someone else, but I would be telling him I don’t want him either. To me, that’s very similar to his masturbating. He’d be telling me he couldn’t control himself for me to give him an orgasm. I don’t think either one of us wants to hurt the other like that. For the record, and I can’t believe I feel the need to say it, I’m not masturbating either.

Having said all this, guess where Lion is right now. Yup. In his cage. Why? Because sometimes he whines so much it’s just easier to do what he wants to shut him up. And yes, I know I should have spanked him for whining. I’m pretty sure he still would have whined. And I would have put him in the damn cage. And he wouldn’t have masturbated even if I’d left him wild.

[Lion — I understand how she might be hurt if I jerked off. It’s just that to a guy, masturbation is a little like breathing. It’s a lifelong activity that doesn’t merit much thought. That may be one reason why male chastity hardware is important as a tool to train a male to stop jerking off.

I don’t think I will masturbate. But I am very concerned that something as important and ingrained as our disciplinary relationship would be shattered by jerking off. I think it is too important to be stopped for any behavioral error I make.

Speaking of behavioral errors, it is not too late for punishing me for whining, if that’s what I did. The latest mention of a male chastity device was just last night.]

By:
In: Masturbation, Lion's Journal

In my post yesterday (“Deconstructing Male Chastity“) I mentioned that one of the benefits of male chastity and wearing a chastity device is preventing unauthorized masturbation. Obviously, if my penis is locked in a chastity device, masturbation is extremely difficult. In my opinion, it isn’t worth it. I also mentioned that some guys are allowed supervised masturbation. Their keyholders unlock them and tell them to jerk off while they “supervise”. Mrs. Lion commented on this in her post yesterday (“Things May Be Getting Back To Normal“). She wrote that the only reason she could see to let me do it myself would be if she was tired of doing it for me.

That’s not us. Before Mrs. Lion I have had to do this.

I think it would be a mistake to allow me to get myself off. Yes, it’s a sort of sexy idea to be told to jerk off in front of someone. The problem is that if I can jerk off under supervision, I can also jerk off without it as well. I realize that I would be breaking a serious rule if I did. Chances are I wouldn’t. However, our current arrangement sends me a very strong message. When my penis is locked in a device, Mrs. Lion locks me in and unlocks me when she wishes my penis to be free. Similarly, if she wants me sexually aroused she will do it with her hands or mouth. I am not allowed to participate.

It may seem subtle, but there is a profound message in all of this. The fact that she and she alone sexually stimulates me makes it very clear that the penis that is attached to me belongs to her. More importantly, I understand that she likes it and wants to play with it. She doesn’t see getting me off as a chore. I think that being told to masturbate under her supervision sends the message that she isn’t interested in making that effort.

When she put this rule in place — no masturbation and my penis is her exclusive property — I don’t think she was fully aware of how significant it was to me. Ever since puberty my penis has been a favorite toy. I loved it if I could get someone else to play with it, but was content to play with it alone if no playmate was available.

Mrs. Lion took the toy away from me. She didn’t say that I could play with it if she wasn’t using it or that I could play with it if she told me I could. She said that I couldn’t play with it at all. Ever. It was no longer mine. It is her exclusive property. Supervised masturbation is saying that I can borrow the toy with her permission.

I know that a lot of women like to watch a man masturbate. I’ve had girlfriends who asked me to do it for them. I obliged. I didn’t see the value for them and I hated wasting the semen. The message was very clear: it was my toy that I could share with them. Under my current situation, Mrs. Lion generally lets me get to the point that I really, really want my toy to get some attention. I know I’m not allowed to play with it and I’m desperate for her to spend some time giving me an orgasm.

If she included supervised masturbation in her bag of tricks, I could see rationalizing my need to ejaculate with the idea that she lets me do it anyway, why not do it now? Since I am never allowed to make myself ejaculate, this ambiguity doesn’t exist for me. I think that’s exactly the right thing.

There is a gray area. She doesn’t seem to mind if I get myself erect if I don’t have an intention to get off. Every now and then I take advantage of this. Sometimes, if I want to take a picture of my erect penis and she isn’t available, I produce the erection and photograph it. No big deal. I’ve always reasoned that all I’m doing is making myself hornier. She likes that. She likes me to be desperate to get off while understanding I can’t do anything about it myself. I don’t think that is a great joy to her, but it amuses her. Obviously, that’s more fun than watching me jerk off. The closest I get to supervised masturbation is watching her jerk me off.