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In: Living with a female led relationship, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion said he was horny. He said maybe he needed to be locked up. This was a change. The day before he hadn’t been so horny. And it’s been weeks since he’s mentioned needing to be locked up.

Personally I didn’t think he seemed very horny last night. He did get hard relatively quickly but the intense desire to come was missing. I edged him orally and got him close. There just didn’t seem to be an urgency to it. Despite that, he again said he was very horny and might need to be locked up. OK. I’m game. Back into the cage he goes.

I assume work is quiet. Lion is home this week. Of course there’s nothing he can’t do at home that he can do at work. Most of his meetings are phone calls or video conferences. He could be in Iceland or Australia and still work as long as he has an internet connection. So locking him up right now shouldn’t cause any problems. He doesn’t need to worry about peeing all over clothes he’s not wearing any. He can freely adjust himself without worrying about people seeing. There’s only the dog and she doesn’t care.

After I locked him away he said something to the effect of “I don’t really think I need to be locked up.” To which I replied, “I don’t really think you have a choice.” Was he trying to see if I’d actually lock him up and then had second thoughts when I did? I guess he got his answer.

How long will he stay locked up? I don’t know. Per our original agreement, I am bound to unlock him and play with him every other day. But that’s not the real question. The real question is the permanency of the cage now that it’s back on. Is it just for the week he’s home? Is it for the rest of 2017? Will it remain on (except for traveling and doctor appointments) long into 2018? Did I just lock him up because he was “daring” me to? [Lion – I can be locked for travel too. I have a trip coming up that might be a chance to experience that.]

You already know my answer. We’ll see how it goes. I might decide the cage is necessary. I might not. At the very least I’ve sent a message to Lion.

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In: BDSM, Lion's Journal, Living with a female led relationship

spanking shirt
My naughty shirt arrived yesterday along with some girly stuff. Poor Lion [Click image to enlarge.]
Yesterday, I got a comment from Julie of Strict Jule Spanks. She’s become an informal mentor to us both. We’ve only exchanged a couple of emails, but that correspondence, her comments, and her blog have been very helpful in how Mrs. Lion spanks and now forced cross dressing.

Her latest comment really turns up the embarrassment in dressing me in women’s clothes. Mrs. Lion has been shopping online for things for me to wear. She likes shopping online; so do I. It’s painless for me when Mrs. Lion shows me something she might purchase. I make a face and then she goes on with her iPad. What UPS will bring is going to be a surprise for me.

Julie suggested that it’s a mistake to buy online. She says it is more fun to take me underwear shopping and hold panties up against me while Mrs. Lion makes her purchase decisions. When she’s done, I have to bring the items to the cashier and pay for them. Hoo boy!

That will certainly embarrass me. One benefit of being locked into a chastity device is that if I get aroused, no visible erection will  be produced. This is the first case where I find a real benefit in being caged. It turns out that it may be more embarrassing to buy panties than to actually wear them.

On Wednesday night, we had do-it-yourself hot fudge sundaes. I dripped a bit of hot fudge on my shirt. One of my rules is not to get food on my clothing. I figured that I would be punished on Thursday night, our regular punishment day.

Nope. After we finished eating and got the bowls into the dishwasher, Mrs. Lion went to her behind-the-door paddle collection, selected the paddle with points on one side (the Tenderizer) and told me to lie face-down on the bed. She then gave me a very thorough spanking with at least 200 swats. There were some drops of blood where the tenderizer’s pointed side hit me. She only used it for a few swats.

When she was done, my butt was burning. She then pointed to the corner and told me to stand in it. I have no idea how long she put me there. It was very difficult to think about anything other than the pain in my bottom. Corner time is definitely a spanking magnifier. She kept me there long enough for my legs to get tired (a good thing from a punishment point of view). When I was finally released, I gratefully got back on the bed.

She asked me about my corner time. I told her about feeling the pain of the spanking. She said, “Good.” I told her my legs were getting tired. She said that maybe we could get a stool for me to sit on. We have a board with rough, gritty non-slip floor tape on it. She said that would help me feel my spanking.

Ever helpful, I suggested she could line the seat of the stool with the tape. We still have a supply of it. She said we would have to figure out what we want to get and  where we could store it when not in use. I suppose it could go in the garage and could fetch it, and return it when we are done.

We’re still struggling with over-the-knee spanking. Our recent attempt felt a great deal different to me from when I lie on the bed for my beating. We haven’t found a comfortable way for Mrs. Lion to do this. I hope we can figure this out. I imagine that the spanking will be much more meaningful and severe if I am across her lap.

We keep learning. Even though we are in our fourth year of enforced chastity and our second in domestic discipline, progress is slow. My knowledge as a top and educator is surprisingly unhelpful. I’m the bottom and I can’t really teach my top. I also admit that we are doing things I’ve never tried when I was a top. I never gave OTK spankings. My victim was generally tied to equipment.

That’s why advice from a practicing female disciplinarian is so helpful. So far, thanks to Julie, Mrs. Lion’s spankings have become much longer and effective. If she follows Julie’s advice on cross dressing, we will benefit from her experience. Maybe “benefit” isn’t the right word from my perspective. No, not from my position.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Living with a female led relationship, Male Chastity

Saturday night Mrs. Lion gave me an orgasm. She was edging me over and over. Finally she asked,

“Do you want to come?”

[Me] “Oh, yes please!”

[Mrs. Lion] “But if I let you come tonight you won’t want to come tomorrow.” (pause) “And, if you come tomorrow, what about the next day?”

[Me] “This doesn’t sound like a good way to think of things.”

Without another word, she kept masturbating me. I went past the edge and fell over with a very nice orgasm.

While that might not have been very forward-looking of Mrs. Lion, I was grateful that she decided not to act on her train of thought. Later, after all those nice hormones wore off, I updated the “Lion’s Sex Life” widget and snuggled under the covers with my lioness.

Not surprisingly, sex after surgery has not been a concern of mine. A thoughtfully provided pamphlet advised that sex is fine as long as I protect my shoulder. Really? I will be doped up on opioids and in considerable discomfort. I’m much more concerned about whether I can sleep. Sex doesn’t even make the list.

Even now, Most of my attention is taken up alternating between wondering if I made the right decision and how can I function with just one arm. For the record, it’s my right arm. I write with my left and years ago, when allowed to jerk off, my left took care of that too. So, I’m losing my helper arm for some time.

In many ways, even considering the long, painful recuperation, this decision isn’t nearly as profound as my decision to give the key to my chastity device to Mrs. Lion. Even as I write this, I can hear you thinking that isn’t right at all. After all, I can change my mind and end the power exchange if I want. Well, no. I really can’t. Orgasm control with or without the chastity device is not mine to drop. Mrs. Lion won’t agree. I could just refuse and jerk off secretly, right? No, I can’t.

Do I mean, no I won’t? After all, my chastity device isn’t inescapable. Besides, I’m wild right now. If I unilaterally decide to end our power exchange, I will be breaching trust. Such a move will cause irreparable damage to the most important relationship of my life. Recuperation from that will be much longer than dealing with recovery from rotator cuff surgery.

It wasn’t easy to decide to ask Mrs. Lion to lock me up. But I reasoned that what I lost in sexual freedom, I would gain in restoring our physical relationship. Is not having full use of my right arm and some daily pain worth the year of painful recovery? Can I keep functioning effectively at work while dealing with this? Is the benefit worth the cost?

So far, I’ve done well with decisions like this. Male chastity and domestic discipline were risks too. I wasn’t sure I could submit on any level. I realized once we got going with enforced chastity that it would be a struggle. It was for over a year. Now, it is just part of my life. I like it.

Starting domestic discipline was easier. It took a long time before Mrs. Lion punished me severely enough to become a true deterrent to behavior she didn’t like. Once her spankings reached the needed level of severity, I wondered if I didn’t make a mistake. I decided to shut up and let things evolve. I’d like to say that I’m as comfortable with domestic discipline as I am with make chastity. I’m not.

Mrs. Lion isn’t either. I’m grateful that she isn’t totally consistent with enforcement of her rules. She sometimes lets me interrupt her with no more than a sharp growl from her. I realize that this isn’t going to last. I’ve gotten a bit of a pass due to my shoulder.

If you wonder why I want to continue with something that is difficult for me, I’ll try to explain. Unlike many/most guys who want female control and take great comfort in being disciplined, I don’t. So, for me, domestic discipline isn’t following a male-submissive world order. It’s a way to improve communication in a different way. I can’t brush off things Mrs. Lion says that I don’t like. She can’t withhold her true feelings when she is upset with me. By agreement, she’s the law in this den. She enforces it with a paddle or strap. I either learn or have a meeting with her implement of choice.

I suppose I could end this too. At this point, the damage to our relationship wouldn’t be severe.  But I don’t want to stop. No matter how much I hate being spanked, I love that Mrs. Lion is finding her voice. She is doing a wonderful job making me a better man. I don’t want that to end.

By:
In: Living with a female led relationship, Power Exchange

I had an evil thought based on something I read a very long time ago. I could give Lion an enema and make him hold it for a certain length of time. If he can’t hold it he’d get punished. If he can hold it he’d get a reward. There are at least two issues with this idea.

How long can Lion normally hold an enema? Does that change depending on what he’s eaten, time since last meal, etc.? If I can’t establish an average wait time, I can’t give him a time to beat. If that wait time is contingent upon a variety of factors, I may not be able to give him a time to beat. It is, of course, possible to figure out a wait time based on the different factors. He might have to wait ten minutes under some circumstances and fifteen under others. I don’t know. Just throwing out numbers here.

The other major problem is that I am horrible at giving rewards. I thank Lion when he does something well. I tell him he’s a good boy. I tell him he’s been doing a very good job at X. But an actual reward usually escapes me. What kind of reward do I give him? He gets more orgasms (at least lately) than he can handle. My last reward was candy, but we’re dieting so that’s out. How do you reward a Lion who gets almost everything he wants anyway? (I’m not saying he’s spoiled. He’s just a very lucky boy.)

I’m not even sure Lion wants to do enema play. But if I want to, he has no choice. I don’t think this would be a regular occurrence. Unfortunately, in order to figure out the timing issue, it would have to be a somewhat regular occurrence to begin with. Or it could be used as punishment. Sometimes I give him a choice. Wear a diaper or get spanked, for example. It may be a choice between wearing a diaper or holding an enema for X amount of time.

Just an evil thought I had on the way to work. It doesn’t mean we’ll do it. It doesn’t mean we won’t.