By:
In: Living with a female led relationship, Male Chastity

Lion and I are having an email exchange, as we normally do on a workday. We’re talking about his longer-than-usual wait this time around. Last night he seemed annoyed that he still had to wait until March for an orgasm. He made it seem like it was news to him. We had discussed it last week. I’m pretty sure he was coherent for the conversation. Since he was annoyed, I wondered if I was pushing things too far. He assures me I’m not. I still worry.

In some ways, despite all the strides I may have made, I’m still a scared little kid afraid that I’m going to do the wrong thing and no one will want to play with me anymore. I think that feeling will always be there, no matter how well I try to hide it. I was also just wondering where the hell 2.0 is. She’s been AWOL for a very long time. I don’t think I’ve assimilated her. At least, I don’t think I have.

It seems to me 2.0 would have taken great pleasure in Lion’s frustration. She would be looking at dates into April for Lion’s next orgasm. She would make sure his butt was unable to sit comfortably for at least a day after some of his infractions. She’s just that kind of bitch.

If I had to give myself a number, I’d say I was at 1.75 right now. (Although some days it feels like I’m at a negative number.) Maybe 2.0 is off strategizing with 3.0 to get me to 2.5. I don’t even want to know what 2.5 has in store for Lion. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either. But we’ll get there, slowly but surely.

For now, 1.75 is going to try not to give Lion a ruined orgasm on his way to 22-plus days. And she’s working out the best way to make punishment more “memorable”. Lion has been adding to her bag of tricks, with slappers and butt plugs. He’s a glutton for punishment in more ways than one.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Living with a female led relationship, Punishment

Today is the 20th day since my last orgasm. I’ve only had one other wait this long. Mrs. Lion indicated that my wait will continue at least to 25 days, probably 26 which is the first of March. That would make February a one-orgasm month. I think there was only one other one-orgasm month in over three years of enforced chastity.

To my surprise, my interest in getting off is extremely high. I figured that over time I would lose interest. However, every night Mrs. Lion unlocks me and edges me unmercifully. I seem to get hard nearly instantly and work as hard as I can to ejaculate. Mrs. Lion is too smart to let that happen. When she is done, she waits as my erection subsides and then locks me up again.

In addition to the edging we spend a good amount of time snuggling. I love that. My desire for this contact seems to have grown as the distance from my last orgasm increases. I didn’t notice this when my waits were shorter. Mrs. Lion seems to be having fun with my frustration. She teases me about being horny as well as a lot of touching even when in my cage. It’s difficult for me to tell if this is real pleasure or if she is behaving this way because she knows I like it so much. I know she loves it when I come. I wonder if she has found a different pleasure in frustrating me.

As my wait wears on, I find that I am generating precum way after the edging. I can pee and then more than fifteen minutes after the edging I find sticky drops at the end of the urethra. This is new too.

At this point I know that my preferences have much less weight in her decisions regarding when I can come. I like that. I also like the teasing. I don’t get any special pleasure out of this very long wait. At least I don’t think I do. Things are different. Maybe I am more submissive. I don’t want to argue with her decisions. I don’t beg for an orgasm and I don’t grumble much either.

I don’t want to sound like I want one or less orgasms a month. I don’t. But I am absolutely prepared to accept that schedule if it pleases Mrs. Lion. She likes to say she is unpredictable regarding when I come. She says she makes that decision while masturbating me. I know that in this case she wants to beat my old record of 21 days. I think that motivates her to not give in to her desire to make me squirt.

She may also be learning from this experience. Impromptu orgasms, while fun, may also take some of the purpose out of enforced chastity. She might enjoy setting a goal and then surpassing it. It’s a challenge for her to not give in to my enormous desire to ejaculate.

Maybe this new resolve is related to her ability to punish me. She’s been learning to spank severely. Each spanking has had more intensity, but relatively short duration. The intensity is significant. She knows each swat is very painful and it is her intention to make it hurt as much as she can. The duration is probably related to her resolve. How much can she hurt me before she can’t bring herself to continue? Knowing her, she will experiment by keeping the intensity and extending the number of swats as she learns to embrace domestic discipline.

She knows I withdraw for a while after being beaten. I think that is challenging for her as well. I believe my withdrawal will become less as I learn to accept the punishment. I also think she will learn to disregard it the same way she ignores my yelps when she hits me. I think she realizes that she needs to harden those feelings to be effective as a disciplining wife.

The same may be true with enforced chastity. She may be learning to enjoy my frustration and the changes in my behavior that long waits produce. Or, she may just be experimenting. As with punishment, it’s not for me to guess or suggest; just accept.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Living with a female led relationship

I’ve been wild the last couple of days. On Wednesday, out of the blue, my cage pinched as I sat at my desk. Usually, a quick adjustment cure the problem; not this time. The base ring was irritating my skin. Since I’ve been wearing this cage for nearly three years, I can’t say I have a bad fit. Still, something just moved around and caused the irritation. Two days out of the cage has allowed things to heal. So, I’m back in today. Long term chastity device wearing has it’s bad days, I suppose. I’m glad Mrs. Lion is understanding and flexible. If I continued wearing the cage, I’m sure things would have continued to get worse.

A few days ago I wrote a post about my nudity-at-home rule and how things slipped until I could go a very long time without undressing. For the last few evenings I dutifully stripped just inside the door and, when Mrs. Lion wasn’t home, left my underwear on her dining room chair as evidence of my obedience.

Last night was garbage night. I got home from work and Mrs. Lion was waiting for me to help her get the garbage to the pickup point. I asked if I could stay dressed to do it. Mrs. Lion agreed and then suggested I change from my work pants to jeans first. I did that. It made sense. When we got back, I went to the bedroom and undressed. I also suggested that perhaps we need to rethink my idea about instant stripping.

The biggest problem for me is dragging all my clothes, my wallet, phone, work ID, and keys from the dining room where I undress back to the bedroom. Once there, I have to put things away, in the laundry, or on my dresser. The dog doesn’t want to wait for me to strip before being let out for a well-earned pee. So, this new concept just isn’t working.

I know that where and  perhaps, when I undress isn’t a big deal to Mrs. Lion. I get it. The problem is a very practical one: how do we avoid allowing things to get too lax but still accommodate the realities of life? We could go back to allowing me to undress in the bedroom and allowing some slack as to when I get in there and take my clothes off. The question is how we can do this so my obedience is consistent and not just convenient? I don’t know the answer. Any thoughts?

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Living with a female led relationship

Yesterday, I had the final interview for the job I have been working to get for over two months. Now, more waiting. I hope that this time there won’t be too much delay before I learn my fate. I don’t deal well with uncertainty. I realize that’s an odd thing for me to say. Alas, it’s true. That trait makes my surrender more difficult. Fortunately, Mrs. Lion knows this about me and manages to keep my stress level down to a manageable point. That doesn’t mean she avoids “surprising” me. But her surprises don’t affect our ability to survive. I crave stability; at least for a while.

You  didn’t come here to listen to me whine about unemployment. It’s hard for me to turn my mind to anything else. Thursday night Mrs. Lion gave me an unexpected orgasm. I figured it was at least, partly to help me be more relaxed for the interview yesterday. She used the sure-fire Magic Wand. As they say, it couldn’t hurt.

When things get tough, Mrs. Lion and I become more of a team. The FLR division blurs a little. We work very well together. So, the fun, FLR stuff goes a bit into the background. That’s not to say I am free to break rules. I’m not. I am also firmly locked into the chastity device. But our conversations barely reference our power exchange. Mundane topics take over. As I wrote yesterday, one of the risks we face is the gradual fade out of FLR. I don’t think we are in danger of that now. Mrs. Lion is being more understanding of my tender emotional state. She allows me a few small growls now and then. Any more and I will be in trouble.

Maybe the proof that a relationship has successfully assimilated FLR and enforced chastity comes when life takes a turn for the worse. Can the power exchange adapt without breaking? Does the chastity device remain in place when practical? Do both of you look for ways to keep these things alive when it become more and more difficult to do it? We do. I think our prospects are very good that we are in this for life.