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In: Health and safety, Mrs Lion Comments, Pain

Lion is still snoozing a lot. When I got back from work yesterday, he said he’d slept the entire time. Granted, it was only a few hours, but he was apologizing. The way I look at it, he’s got some serious healing going on and that takes a lot of energy. It’s no wonder he’s sleeping so much. There’s no need to apologize. Resting is a good thing.

I think he’s finally convinced that I won’t leave him because he needs help. He feels bad that he sometimes makes me get up every few minutes to adjust pillows or get him a drink or get his pills. I don’t mind doing it. If anything, it wakes me up to be moving around. He hasn’t really been whining at all. The closest he’s come is last night when I wondered if his pain was normal, because he hasn’t been doing all of his exercises or maybe he’s been doing too much with his arm, and he told me I was accusing him of causing his own pain. Right. Because looking for a possible answer for the pain is the same as telling him he’s doing it to himself. I was trying to figure out how to help.

Lion is also getting upset that our sex lives are not returning to normal yet. He needs to understand that the surgery was only two weeks ago. It will take about six weeks for the repair to heal completely. Sure, the scar is closed, but inside his body still has a lot of work to do. Plus, he knows that the physical therapy will take months and months to get his movement back to normal. I think he’s trying to rush things. He may feel the twinges of horniness, but I don’t think he’s horny enough to perform reliably each time.

It may take us a while to get back to where we were with FLR, DD and enforced chastity, but we’ll get there. The most important thing now is to get him healthy.

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In: Health and safety, Lion's Journal

We’ve been busy this weekend. Well, not terribly busy. We continue preparing to make our house work for me when I can’t use my right arm. I’m learning a lot about how difficult it can be for someone with a disability. For example, I sleep on the right side of the bed. My right shoulder is getting the surgery. So, reaching the nightstand is very difficult.

I know what you are thinking. Why not switch sides with Mrs. Lion? That crossed our minds. But I need to use a cold machine to chill a pad that goes against the shoulder. If I go to Mrs. Lion’s side of the bed, the hose from the machine won’t make it across my body; not to mention how uncomfortable it will be to have cold, heavy tubing crossing my body.

I love technology. I tried to think of ways I could access my light, for one thing. Then I remembered the “smart” house. There’s lots of stuff out there that uses WiFi to connect to a smartphone or other device. So, I ordered two smart light bulbs and the hub needed to manage them. Now we can control our bedside lamps with our iPhones or iPads. Why stop there? So, we are getting an Amazon Echo so now I can tell Alexa to turn on or dim the lamps.

The Echo will also answer questions, play Jeopardy with us, and play music. Another, admittedly minor, issue is controlling the temperature in the house. We have a programmable thermostat that is fine when we both go to work. But when I’m here all the time, it would be very helpful to control the temperature manually when I want. So, we got a smart thermostat. Our power company offers a nice rebate, so for about $100 we can automate the heat and AC. Guess what? Alexa will do that too. I just tell her what temperature I want.

We are gradually making our environment accommodate my disability. I have a special WiFi access point that puts me on my company’s network. My company laptop has Dragon so I can dictate emails and my posts. Our bed is adjustable so I can make myself as comfortable as possible while recuperating.

All this work is making me feel better about the surgery. Also, I am much more willing to undergo it. In the time between falling and now, I have received physical therapy and two cortisone injections. Each injection is supposed to last four-to-six months. My last shot was late December. The pain returned in February and that’s what prompted me to visit the sports medicine surgeon.

Over the last couple of weeks, the pain has gotten gradually worse. I thought it was because I am so focused on the surgery. Yesterday, it occurred to me that the December injection was continuing to wear off. The pain is returning to what I will be for the rest of my life if I don’t get the operation. I get the point. I’m committed. Scared, but committed.

Speaking of accommodation, I ordered a stainless steel cock ring that will remind me of my surrender when I can’t wear the cage. I may not be wearing a chastity device, but I won’t be completely wild.  Along with the physical changes here at home, we are both working toward maintaining our FLR and male chastity.

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In: diapers, Edging, Female led relationship with discipline, Health and safety, Orgasm, Punishment

Lion wonders what today will bring. Well, we talked about diapers. Lion has a problem with keeping his pants up. You see, he has no butt. None. So his pants try to slide right on down. No matter how tight he pulls his belt, his pants do not cooperate. This is sometimes amusing, but generally he needs to keep one hand free to grab them if they start to go. I thought a diaper would escalate this problem. They have a somewhat slippery exterior. I turns out, the bulkiness may actually help the pants situation. So Lion will be wearing a diaper today.

As soon as we get ready to go out on our errands, Lion will put his diaper on. When we get home, he will continue to wear diapers. He will have to wear one for two pees and change just before the third pee so he’s always in a wet diaper. I know they don’t necessarily feel wet, but they sag when wet and that’s what I’m going for. Because he’ll be wearing diapers, he does not need to wear his training collar. He forgot it yesterday anyway. I’ll punish him at some point today for that transgression.

We continue to learn/talk/plan for his shoulder surgery. Last night, after he said he was horny all day and I decided to give him an orgasm because it’s been a few days and he needed something good to happen, (how’s this for a run-on sentence) I hit upon the idea of the Lion show. I didn’t call it that last night, but it fits. I presented Lion with the idea of asking for play, edging and/or orgasms while we wait for surgery and during his recovery period. He’s the only one who knows how much pain he’s in. Rather than having me pester him with unwanted advances, he can decide what he wants and when he wants it.

This idea may fly in the face of female led marriage, male chastity, and domestic discipline, but we’re all about experimenting and deciding what works for us. Other people may have had shoulder surgery or other surgeries, but people are different. Lion may be able to take more or less pain than someone else. It may depend on the type of pain. He may be able to endure a punishment spanking, but the shoulder is killing him. Perhaps a broken toe wouldn’t be much of a problem, but a tendon tear is excruciating. My mother once said that a cracked kneecap was the worst pain she’d ever experienced. This woman has had more broken bones and other pains than anyone I know.

So, from last night until I decide he’s out of pain sufficiently, Lion will ask for play, edging and/or orgasms. That doesn’t mean I necessarily have to grant them. It also doesn’t mean that I can’t offer to do them. My job is to take good care of Lion any way I can. Right now, he’s scared and worried. I’ll do anything I can to help.

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In: Health and safety, Lion's Journal

When we started this blog I saw it as a daily journal of my experiences with male chastity. At the time, I wasn’t sure what I could write seven days a week about locking up my penis. Somehow, stuff came up. Over the last month or so we have both been distracted by non-sexual issues. If you’ve been reading along, it started with my kidney stones and segued into a rotator cuff crisis.

In fairness, I injured my shoulder about seven months ago, so I can’t claim it is a sudden crisis. But it came to a head a few weeks ago when I discovered I can’t get any more steroid shots to reduce the pain. For me, at least, pain has dulled my focus on our power exchange. I’m not locked in my chastity device, but all my rules are in effect and I am expected to be obedient. In fact, I was spanked on Monday.

We face a choice at this point. Many bloggers choose to stop posting when there is no  news in their chosen kink.  I considered that idea for myself. I will have to stop writing for a while after my surgery. Yes, for now at least, I have decided to go through with it. I can’t live with this pain indefinitely. I just won’t be able to type for a couple of weeks.

I’ve decided that I will continue my side of this journal even when the subject matter isn’t directly related to male chastity or domestic discipline. Maybe it is my ego speaking, but I think there is value in sharing our lives even when the subject matter has taken a different path.

The blog is unlikely to be jerk-off fodder. We aren’t interested in writing porn, even if it is a true picture of our activity. So, the wankers have found other resources. I think the value in sharing the current situation is that we are revealing how we handle adversity. And how it affects our kinks.

I don’t have a single doubt that Mrs. Lion will do anything she can to help me; even if I start growling out of pain and frustration. 2.0 isn’t going to beat me or even yell at me if that happens. I know she thought she might, but I don’t believe it. She knows that it isn’t my nature to behave that way. Drugs and pain can change me for a little while.

But I believe that our domestic discipline relationship will shorten any outbursts drastically. The reason is that I have learned to accept corrections from Mrs. Lion. If she tells me that she has heard enough growling or whining, I will listen. She may not punish me at the time, but I will get the message.

One of the main reasons I have been resisting getting my shoulder fixed is that I know I will be frustrated by my helplessness. I can accept it for a while. But, rotator cuff surgery has a recovery period that stretches into months. That is a very long time to expect me to gracefully accept being helpless.

The main reason I have decided to have the surgery is my absolute confidence that Mrs. Lion will take care of me. It won’t make me hate such a long recuperation any less. But I feel safe. I know I will be safe. My sweetie will make sure of that.

The reason I decided to keep writing, even if not about our kinks, is that some of our regular readers care about us. Maybe in some ways we are a role model for others who do what we practice. At the very least, Mrs. Lion and I will have a complete record of this time in our lives.