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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Spanking

Mrs. Lion has been writing about taking a firmer hand with me. I’m not sure why she hasn’t followed through. That’s a little surprising. She normally uses the blog as a way to signal changes. For example, she has been writing about resuming anal play. So far, we haven’t done any. The same is true about her taking more control. I assume that she will do both. Sometimes, she just needs a little extra time between announcing a new policy and implementing it.

A sore point for her is the difference in our tastes in television. I’ve lost patience with some of the programs that used to be very interesting. I don’t like soap operas and many evening programs tend to be moving in a soapy direction. Mrs. Lion, on the other hand, enjoys that sort of thing. I don’t object to watching “her” shows. I want to point out that she wrote in the past (a year or two ago) that she would spank me if I commented about her shows. She hasn’t followed through on that either.

Even though our domestic discipline could be considered a game, it’s very effective. I generally remember to set up the coffee pot. The exception was Sunday, when things were a bit topsy-turvy here. Out of the goodness of her heart, Mrs. Lion reminded me that I had forgotten to do it. My point is that I am much more consistent about taking care of that chore. Mrs. Lion’s painful spankings do make an impression on me.

I know I’m going to regret pointing this out, but her paddle is an excellent teaching tool. If she doesn’t like how I deal with her programs, a visit or two with her paddle will help improve my behavior. A less drastic measure is just to growl if I make a comment she doesn’t like. Knowing me, a hybrid approach is probably best, a growl followed by a spanking at the next convenient time. I don’t think writing about it in a post is very useful in changing what I do. Mrs. Lion has the tools and knows how to use them.

I think we are both out of practice. A disciplinary relationship requires, well, discipline. We’ve both learned that the more consistently we practice something, the more things improve. I think that Mrs. Lion has slowed down. Inertia may be taking over. I don’t know why. It’s not good for either of us. I’m very sure my vacation from being taken in hand is probably ending. When Mrs. Lion writes about what bothers her, that may be a sign of this inertia. When she writes about what she’s done to correct me from something she dislikes, we know she is in action mode. Now that she has perfected her spanking style, you’ll also know because I’ll write about how uncomfortable it is to sit down.

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In: Punishment, Domestic discipline, Female led relationship with discipline, Spanking

A lot of people misunderstand what it means to have a disciplinary relationship. The people who fantasize about being in the disciplined role imagine that they are managed strictly like small children. The main reason for this is that being spanked is the primary sexual attraction of this arrangement. I certainly imagined myself that way before we started.

The big problem with the fantasies is that they’re about an activity, spanking. If you want to be spanked, ask your partner to spank you. You’d be surprised how many men and women can be convinced to wield a paddle. “Oh, no,” you say. You want to feel the authority of your partner and get spanked because you earned a punishment. That’s what I wanted.

The problem with making the fantasy real is similar to getting a partner to lock you into a chastity device. Until you ask for it, your partner has absolutely no idea why she would want to do such a thing. Male chastity is easier. It doesn’t require much work and doesn’t inflict pain. Adding female control is another matter entirely.

How many women independently think about controlling their partners? Not many, I assure you. Even less consider punishing their mates like children. It’s true that many wives, including Mrs. Lion, refer to their husbands as their oldest kid. But that doesn’t mean they actually want to treat their husbands like children. Marriage is not easier for a wife who has the added burden of managing a grown toddler.

you can make it happen

Don’t give up on having a disciplinary relationship. Recognize that the reality isn’t going to be like the fantasy. We’ve been in our disciplinary marriage for over three years now. We’ve been married fifteen. We’ve been successful because Mrs. Lion wisely realized that taking over control of me is a full-time job that she doesn’t want. That made sense to me. I didn’t want that either. When I thought about it, I realized that what I really wanted was a set of rules that Mrs. Lion established. Failure to follow them results in a spanking.

This is the model most disciplinary relationships follow. It isn’t complicated. In the beginning, we discussed possible rules, and Mrs. Lion came up with a few simple ones, like waiting for her to eat first. She got very good at spotting infractions and made sure I get spanked if I break a rule. Over time she’s learned to be an effective spanker. She also gets out of practice. When she’s on her game, I dread being spanked. When she’s a bit lax, I don’t worry about getting into position.

I’ve asked her to expand my rules to include things I do that annoy her. She’s resisted enforcing them. Since she’s in charge, it’s her decision what she chooses to implement. My behavior has improved, and I don’t earn spankings often. We’ve decided that I can get “just because” spankings when I haven’t broken a specific rule in a while. These are the same as punishment spankings. We haven’t done this yet, but when Mrs. Lion announces I have one coming, I’m sure I will dread it.

like a lamb to slaughter

This brings up an interesting question: Even though I want spankings, why would I meekly expose my bare bottom when I know I will be howling in pain? It seems counter-intuitive. The reason is embarrassingly simple. I’m turned on thinking about being spanked. My sexual reaction to the idea of spanking marches me willingly to the gallows. Stupid lion! I’m sure this amuses Mrs. Lion.

My sexual connection to spanking also drives me to encourage her to become a more effective spanker. Even though I know that I will hate the experience, I want her to push me further. Foolish lion! I know I will be sorry as I bend over the spanking pillow to receive a paddling. It doesn’t matter. I want an authentic experience.

That’s the key to understanding what I want. I’m asking for authentic adult spankings. I want them associated with behavioral offenses that Mrs. Lion catches. If I manage to avoid breaking any rules for more than a week or two, then I want a spanking as a reminder of why I need to continue to behave well. Mrs. Lion is in charge in the sense that she can make any rules she wishes, and she can punish me for any reason she feels I need correction. She doesn’t have to run my life or start a new career as a lion tamer.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Male Chastity

In so many ways 2020 is a year we all want to forget. Our 100-year plague struck as COVID-19. Everything changed. Here in the US, the complete lack of national leadership made us the most severely impacted country in the world. I’m out of work as a direct result of the pandemic. The term “pivot” has come into popular use to describe the ways we adapt to the disease. 2021 isn’t shaping up much better. We have a new president. He’s a political hack, but at least he cares about the country. There is a good chance that he will appoint good people and clean up the mess that the worst president in American history has made.

2020 was also the year I had the least orgasms since we began tracking. It was 33 versus 51 for 2019. I’m not sure that means anything. Some people think that the lower that number goes, the better I’m under female control. I totally disagree. That implies that the objective of male chastity is to eliminate ejaculation. That makes absolutely no sense to me.

You don’t demonstrate control by extinguishing something. You have control when you decide when the male gets to come. Mrs. Lion has absolute control over me in that area. I haven’t had a single orgasm that she didn’t supply. That’s control! If she believes I don’t need to ejaculate more than once every ten to fourteen days then that’s what I get. In 2020, my average was an orgasm every eleven days. All were either handjobs or oral. Since June, all but one was oral. I think it’s hot that my sex life is controlled this way. Essentially, I’m milked on a regular basis that doesn’t require my input. That’s the essence of male chastity. I like losing control.

2020 was also a year that our disciplinary relationship changed a bit. Mrs. Lion has been less focused on our FLR. Her routines have changed. She is working from home and hasn’t developed the rhythm she had when she commuted. She is less inclined to punish me for anything other than forgetting to set up the coffee pot. I haven’t been punished for anything else in months. I would like to say that I didn’t do anything else wrong, but that’s not true. She seems less inclined to be a disciplinary wife lately. Part of the reason for this might be that she hasn’t been feeling as well as usual. Part may be inertia.

I’ve also noticed that male chastity devices seem more popular. I’m basing this on pictures I’ve seen on twitter and other social media. Most of the devices appear to be the cheap Chinese cages. Every single one I’ve seen are too big for the penis inside it, some by more than an inch. I suppose that’s inevitable. In case you know someone who doesn’t get it, remind him that the end of the cage should always be in firm contact with the head of the penis.

Perhaps 2021 will be a better year in that respect. Maybe my ejaculate production will be allowed to go up as well. I doubt that. I hope that we can get back to the much more active disciplinary relationship that we had before. I think we were both happier. Stay tuned.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline

As Mrs. Lion mentioned in her post, I narrowly avoided being spanked by setting up the coffee pot before she woke up. She also mentioned that I annoyed her during our breakfast conversation. This is one of those classic marriage issues: We agreed to have waffles for breakfast the night before. When Mrs. Lion got up to make breakfast, she said that maybe it was too late for waffles. I answered, “Is it?”

She replied, “OK, I’ll make waffles.”

I said, “Don’t do that if it’s too late.”

The essence of the exchange was that by asking a question, I caused Mrs. Lion to reverse her decision not to make them. This, in turn, upset me because I didn’t want her doing something she really wasn’t up for. Then she reacted to that by going to make them anyway. I finally said that we don’t need them today. We can have waffles another day.

The conversation was unsatisfying for both of us. The only difference being that I could end up being spanked. I think that the problem may have to do with the assumptions Mrs. Lion makes.  I think that she assumes that if I ask a question about a comment she makes, that I am challenging it. By asking if it was too late, I was saying that I didn’t think it was too late. Even if that was my meaning, the last thing I wanted was for her to reverse herself. I expected her to say, “Yes it is. We can try another morning,” or, “Do you want them that badly?”

That would be a dialogue. I hate it when she reverses herself without a word and does what she said she didn’t want to do. That feels hostile to me and passive-aggressive. That’s how that exchange hit me. I wonder if what I’m expected to do is say nothing? That would make me unhappy.

Is what happened a spankable offense? I’m not sure. I think that spanking me would be better than what happened. It would be a definitive outcome of the transaction. It wouldn’t be what I want, but at least it would be direct.