Our Disciplinary Marriage

A lot of people misunderstand what it means to have a disciplinary relationship. The people who fantasize about being in the disciplined role imagine that they are managed strictly like small children. The main reason for this is that being spanked is the primary sexual attraction of this arrangement. I certainly imagined myself that way before we started.

The big problem with the fantasies is that they’re about an activity, spanking. If you want to be spanked, ask your partner to spank you. You’d be surprised how many men and women can be convinced to wield a paddle. “Oh, no,” you say. You want to feel the authority of your partner and get spanked because you earned a punishment. That’s what I wanted.

The problem with making the fantasy real is similar to getting a partner to lock you into a chastity device. Until you ask for it, your partner has absolutely no idea why she would want to do such a thing. Male chastity is easier. It doesn’t require much work and doesn’t inflict pain. Adding female control is another matter entirely.

How many women independently think about controlling their partners? Not many, I assure you. Even less consider punishing their mates like children. It’s true that many wives, including Mrs. Lion, refer to their husbands as their oldest kid. But that doesn’t mean they actually want to treat their husbands like children. Marriage is not easier for a wife who has the added burden of managing a grown toddler.

you can make it happen

Don’t give up on having a disciplinary relationship. Recognize that the reality isn’t going to be like the fantasy. We’ve been in our disciplinary marriage for over three years now. We’ve been married fifteen. We’ve been successful because Mrs. Lion wisely realized that taking over control of me is a full-time job that she doesn’t want. That made sense to me. I didn’t want that either. When I thought about it, I realized that what I really wanted was a set of rules that Mrs. Lion established. Failure to follow them results in a spanking.

This is the model most disciplinary relationships follow. It isn’t complicated. In the beginning, we discussed possible rules, and Mrs. Lion came up with a few simple ones, like waiting for her to eat first. She got very good at spotting infractions and made sure I get spanked if I break a rule. Over time she’s learned to be an effective spanker. She also gets out of practice. When she’s on her game, I dread being spanked. When she’s a bit lax, I don’t worry about getting into position.

I’ve asked her to expand my rules to include things I do that annoy her. She’s resisted enforcing them. Since she’s in charge, it’s her decision what she chooses to implement. My behavior has improved, and I don’t earn spankings often. We’ve decided that I can get “just because” spankings when I haven’t broken a specific rule in a while. These are the same as punishment spankings. We haven’t done this yet, but when Mrs. Lion announces I have one coming, I’m sure I will dread it.

like a lamb to slaughter

This brings up an interesting question: Even though I want spankings, why would I meekly expose my bare bottom when I know I will be howling in pain? It seems counter-intuitive. The reason is embarrassingly simple. I’m turned on thinking about being spanked. My sexual reaction to the idea of spanking marches me willingly to the gallows. Stupid lion! I’m sure this amuses Mrs. Lion.

My sexual connection to spanking also drives me to encourage her to become a more effective spanker. Even though I know that I will hate the experience, I want her to push me further. Foolish lion! I know I will be sorry as I bend over the spanking pillow to receive a paddling. It doesn’t matter. I want an authentic experience.

That’s the key to understanding what I want. I’m asking for authentic adult spankings. I want them associated with behavioral offenses that Mrs. Lion catches. If I manage to avoid breaking any rules for more than a week or two, then I want a spanking as a reminder of why I need to continue to behave well. Mrs. Lion is in charge in the sense that she can make any rules she wishes, and she can punish me for any reason she feels I need correction. She doesn’t have to run my life or start a new career as a lion tamer.