By:
In: Reviews, CBT

Over the years, I’ve reviewed a few male masturbators, the industry term for devices designed to get a man off. This isn’t your daddy’s vibrator. The Amovibe Albertine actually sucks cock. No kidding, it does. The manufacturer used the technology developed for penis pumps to realistically suck a penis.

Penis pumps are devices that include an airtight container that goes over the penis and a pump to remove air. When some of the air is removed around the penis, it expands. The lower air pressure allows blood to flow into the penis and make it hard. Using a device like this regularly will enlarge the cock, usually making it thicker. The result isn’t very aesthetically pleasing, but it is larger.

Anyway, the Albertine has a small electric vacuum pump and two bullet vibrators. You insert your penis (soft or hard) into the device and start it. The vacuum pump draws the penis in while the vibrators stimulate it. That’s the theory. The device is programmed to suck and release at intervals. The intensity of sucking also changes. The Albertine comes with four vacuum modes and ten vibe modes.

The vibrator patterns are the standard ones that most modern vibrators have. I’m not terribly fond of any of them. But I’m spoiled. The vacuum settings are interesting. My favorite is a steady suck and release pattern. The intensity of the sucking is moderate but enough to draw my cock in. One of the five patterns includes a very powerful suck that drew me in with a good amount of force. It felt good. The other sucking patterns were a bit odd and not too exciting for me.

The device is reasonably priced, $72.99 USD at the time of this writing. Shipping is free. It uses a USB charger, and each charge lasts a long time. It doesn’t come with clear instructions. However, if you scroll through the images on the product webpage, you will find illustrated instructions.

use test

Good instructions would have been helpful. I went back to the Amovibe site to get ideas. I lubed my  cock and poured some into the silicone sleeve. There is a clearly marked power switch on the top of the device. I inserted my soft cock and held the power switch down for three seconds. The vibes started. I didn’t feel any suction.

I fumbled around and felt a rubber strip near the top. Pressing the top of the strip cycled through the vibe patterns. More fumbling and I realized that the suction control was at the bottom of the strip. I pressed it once, and I felt my cock being drawn in and released in a regular rhythm. It felt good, but not great. I pressed the bottom of the strip again, and a different sucking pattern started. The fourth pattern included a very powerful suck. I liked it. It pulled me in and held me for a few seconds.

I finally realized that I had to “help” the device. I pulled it a couple of inches away from my body so that each suck would move my penis in, and each release would let it slip out a bit. That worked well. The vibrations didn’t do much for me. Your experience may vary.

Of all the masturbators I’ve tried, this is the best. I’m including AutoBlow in the list of less exciting devices. The problem I had was that the sucking patterns weren’t quite right for me. I wanted a stronger, faster-sucking action. The ones provided weren’t enough to do the trick. If the device had more control over speed and vacuum, it would be perfect.

The vibrators were too general. All of my penis was stimulated. Vibes only work for me when they focus on my frenum area. General vibration is more annoying than fun. It would be great to let me use the device with suction alone.

The Albertine has great potential. It’s definitely worth the price. If a version could be made that connects to an app that allows better control, it would be perfect. As it is, I had a lot of fun trying it and plan to use it more if Mrs. Lion lets me. I may need more “practice” with it to make it orgasmic.

This device was provided to me at no charge for review.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, CBT

I had to go into the office this morning for an in-person meeting. We have one every quarter. I think it’s mostly to let everyone meet each other since we tend to have a high turnover rate in some areas. They give us breakfast, hand out an award for the person who made a great suggestion, and otherwise waste our time. We also break into our departments and go over things that were or should be covered in an email. You know, typical office nonsense.

That outing left me tired. Neither of us slept very well last night. Actually, it’s been the past few nights. I don’t think the heat has anything to do with it. I was almost falling asleep at my desk when Lion asked if I wanted lunch. I didn’t, but some time away from my desk helped a little. At some point I’ll get so tired that I can’t help but sleep through the night. In the meantime, it’s not fun.

Speaking of fun, there wasn’t any last night either. I don’t know if Lion was particularly horny, but I was not feeling well. It’s not really anything I can put my finger on. I just don’t feel well. And that’s annoying. I can take Tylenol for pain. There’s nothing to take for general yuck. I’m hoping sleep will help. I’ll try again tonight to have enough energy to play with Lion. Maybe I just have to force myself. No, not force myself as in he’s a chore. Force myself as in get off my ass and just do it already. I could go for days of not feeling well and that’s not fair to Lion.

As soon as he heads off to take a shower, I’ll set up the massage table. I really don’t have to take it down until he’s ready to go into his office on Thursday if I can’t manage to take it down tonight. At the very least, it will be waiting for us when I get off work. Then all I have to do is figure out what I want to do with him. Maybe it’s time for IcyHot again. It’s been a long time. The smell might wake me up. Poor Lion.

By:
In: CBT

If I had to bet on it, I’d bet that Lion hates when I get him excited only to stop playing with him. It’s one thing to edge him. He signed up for that. But sometimes I get him excited, on the way to the edge, and leave him hanging. Extra mean? I don’t know. Personally, if he did that to me, I’d prefer it to being edged. I’ve only been edged a few times. Once was by accident. Once was by Lion. I don’t know if he did it on purpose. I was not amused. I hated it. I can’t imagine counting down to liftoff only to have the launch called off at the last second, on purpose. If we aren’t going all the way, drop me off early.

Of course, Lion is wired differently. To this day, I’m not sure if he likes to be edged or if he just likes the loss of control. It’s one thing to tell me I have control of his orgasms. It’s quite another to tell me to torture him. He’ll say he doesn’t like pain. I call bullsh*t. Why else would spanking turn him on? Why else would he want CBT? I know. I know. He’ll say it’s the loss of control. I’m sure that’s part of it. But I don’t buy that he doesn’t like pain.

I digress. The point is that I didn’t edge him last night. I played with weenie and the boys, and Lion did get hard. I stroked him as though I was heading for the edge, but I never took him very far. Sometimes, when I start out with every intention of edging him, I decide to stop early. Why? Why not? If he’s given control of his orgasms to me, shouldn’t it follow that I have control of his not-orgasms? When we started orgasm control, he suggested edging rather than orgasms. No one ever said I was limited to just edging or orgasm. Obviously, there are times he can’t make it to the edge. I’m not talking about those times. Neither of us has control of that.

Look at it like a fire truck. Sometimes, the crew takes them out for a drive just to keep things in working order. You have to give the engine something to do other than sit in the garage all the time. I’m just taking Lion’s firetruck out for a joy ride when I don’t take him to the edge. Maybe edging is the equivalent of a false alarm for the fire truck. Lights and sirens, and there’s no fire. Damn. He can always hope there’s a raging fire next time.

By:
In: Sex, Bondage, CBT
balls tied and separated

I haven’t been responsive to Mrs. Lion. It’s odd because I find my mind drifting to erotic thoughts during the day. My cock begins to harden. At night, after dinner and Mrs. Lion’s shower, I don’t get turned on. I want to get hard, but I don’t.

This has been happening for the last week or so. It isn’t that she doesn’t try. I can’t get interested in sex. Maybe it’s just a slump. I’ve been known to get them. I can’t understand what is happening. Maybe that would work if Mrs. Lion used the spanking bench for sex. If she got out my restraints, that might do it.

I think that any ritual other than reaching under the covers and touching my cock would be beneficial. It may be that I’ve become my own worst enemy when it comes to sex. For example, when Mrs. Lion waxes me, I’m usually not feeling sexy when she starts yanking my hair out. By the time she is finished, I’m starting to get hard on my own. I know she’s going to start a handjob with oil. It isn’t the oil. It’s the buildup from the very unsexy waxing.

The reason this always works is that something else that is unrelated to jerking me off happens first. Maybe that’s why CBT and bondage work reliably. Tying up my balls is nice, but as far as lion foreplay goes, it is pretty much the same as fondling under the covers.

It isn’t that I always need the big buildup, but at this point, I need more than I’m getting. For example, for the last few days, Mrs. Lion has said, “Want me to suck you?” When she asks, I’m not focused on sex. It’s just a question like, “Want some cookies?” Business as usual. For the record, I almost always love a blow job. If Mrs. Lion just started instead of asking, I can’t imagine I wouldn’t react.

She wouldn’t be able to do it long because I would be in a position that made it awkward for her. But a minute or two of attention would almost certainly get me very happy to get in the proper position. Oh yeah! Moving to a different location, like the spanking bench or waxing table, would train me to be ready for sex. It might not work the first few times, but I’m sure it would after a while.

I think that most women believe that men are always ready for sex. When we are in our 30’s and 40’s, that’s true. As we age, we need the same sort of buildup that women need. Familiarity and age dull the male libido. One reason men seek extramarital sex is that new partners make them feel young and virile. A new female is a powerful aphrodisiac.

No, I’m not advocating going out and finding a mistress. I am suggesting that my libido needs help. It’s alive and well but isn’t easy to wake when sleeping.

“he wants a floor show”

Mrs. Lion said that I’m like our puppy. When she gets a treat, she carries it around without eating it. She’ll only eat after we make a big fuss about how yummy it is. OK, maybe I’m the same way with a sexual treat. I’m not alone.

I have a theory why many men like to go to massage parlors for a handjob. I doubt that the women there have particularly novel skills in how to jerk a man off. Part of it may be the novelty of a new female paying sexual attention. Guys like that. A bigger reason is that the pros don’t just grab a guy’s junk and start playing with it. They make some pretense of a full-body massage.

They may not be offering medical-grade action, but they are doing a lot of non-genital touching, front and back. This sensual contact goes on for a while. The guy is paying for thirty minutes. That’s why they call the handjob a “happy ending.”

I’m not suggesting that Mrs. Lion offer thirty-minute massages. It is instructive how aroused I get after being waxed. Anticipation and ritual are powerful aphrodisiacs. The mind controls sex. Engaging it is the secret to orgasm. Women accuse men of ignoring this important fact. They are as guilty as we are. Their excuse: Men don’t need foreplay, they’re always ready. Ha!