By:
In: Lion's Journal, Spanking

Friday night, Mrs. Lion decided to give me a maintenance spanking. She wrote about it yesterday. She wondered how to tell if she did a “good” job spanking me. She looked to me for feedback. I was in no mood to give her any.

What she doesn’t understand is that I hated that spanking. Since she’s made spanking more intense, I start unhappy and end up angry. That, in a perverse way, is a sign of her success.

It’s a bit complicated. I am unhappy about being spanked because I know how it will end. I still find the idea of being spanked hot. When she starts, it’s a turn on. That doesn’t last very long. It gradually gets too painful to feel aroused. I’m also aware that she’s not going to stop. I know what’s coming.

She’s reached the point that I get angry during the spanking. This is a normal phase in the spanking spectrum. It’s also a first for me.

I think she’s at the point when spanking isn’t so much a service for me, as it is something for her. She turned that corner when she decided to master spanking the way she masters her games. Of course, that means she has to develop a way to keep “score”. I’m not a reliable reporter of the quality of her punishments; at least not right after she beats me. At least, not in the way she has in the past.

”Was it a good spanking?” is not a productive question if asked too soon after she finishes. At that point, when she finishes, I don’t even want to think about being spanked again. My reaction is genuine. If she wants feedback, the question needs to come many hours later. Of course, she may not need feedback from me.

I think this is only difficult for maintenance spankings. The reasons for giving them don’t directly relate to an offense I’ve committed. It is a training opportunity for Mrs. Lion and a way to remind me how unpleasant punishment is to receive.

By those measures, Mrs. Lion is successful. She is becoming a much more effective spanker. She’s moved me into the anger phase. The next phase can’t be that far off (I hope). Ironically, the better she gets at this, the less I want another. A day or two after I’m spanked, the memory is hot. I do find the thought of being spanked arousing. I think I am also more sexually aroused for a time after a punishment.

As Mrs. Lion’s technique improves, my reactions change. I think it is a good sign. We are moving out of the BDSM-for-punishment stage into the new world of the disciplinary wife.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Female led relationship with discipline
cowboy boots
These are my cowboy boots. I’m bellied up to the bar.

Punishment day (Thursday), went by without a punishment or maintenance spanking. We had dinner at a barbecue restaurant. I took an enormous risk by ordering baby back ribs. I was very careful to disregard table manners and lean way over my plate. I am happy to say that there wasn’t a drop of anything on my shirt.

We spent Thursday driving across a beautiful pass and then shopped and ate. It was fun. We got back to the trailer about four o’clock. The next two hours we relaxed and then drove to the local town for our barbecue dinner. Actually, we wanted pizza but the local pizza place was closed. Apparently, it only opens on Friday and Saturday. We’ll try again.

Two years ago, we were here and shopped across the pass (about 60 miles from our trailer). We both bought cowboy boots. It’s one of those purchases you know you won’t really use. But we both liked the idea a lot. I wore mine last night. They felt fine. I will wear them again on this trip.

Our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) isn’t the sort you read about with Mrs. Lion being the demanding mistress. Our relationship has always been perfect for us. We didn’t see changing it when we adopted FLRD. Instead, we gradually tried new things. The first was punishment for breaking rules. We remain at that phase. Over time, punishment changed. It’s become more severe and unpleasant for me.

To some, it may seem that we should make more dramatic changes to our lives. We don’t agree. However, as Mrs. Increased the intensity of punishment, I’ve felt more controlled by her. It’s one thing to know I would have a pink bottom for spilling. It’s another to realize a long, very painful spanking will be coming for even the slightest slip. It makes me much more conscious of her authority. Even though she hasn’t punished me for anything other than a rule violation, I’m very aware that she might punish me any time she feels I need it.

When we started this, I didn’t realize that Mrs. Lion’s authority would grow, not by imposing more restrictions and controls, but by intensifying my punishments. It came as a surprise. I think Mrs. Lion is surprised too.

She’s committed to intensifying punishments further. She wants to perfect spanking. I’m not sure exactly what that means, but I’m sure I’ll be feeling it even more. Then she will move on to other things.

This may seem cruel to you. It’s not. If we don’t want to change the way we live, but we still want FLRD, the key is to make small changes and by using discipline, make those little changes count a lot. I don’t think either of us planned this. I had no idea it would work out this way.

At least for now, we have a path that works. It’s a painful path for me, but that’s the price I pay for forgetting and breaking a rule.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Sex

On the fourth, we had our own fun. Mrs. Lion gave me a great blowjob. I had to pay in advance with some painful swats to my balls. Oh well. We spent the day close to home. We drove into town (10 miles each way) for lunch. The streets were quiet but not dead. Mrs. Lion commented on how much main street looked like a town in the old west. Of course, this is the new west. The town dates from the Gold Rush time. There is a memorial to the millions of ounces of gold that came from local gold mines.

The rest of the time we spent in and around the trailer. We grilled burgers outside for dinner. All in all it was a tame fourth. We decided not to walk to the lakeside to watch the fireworks. To our surprise, we were able to see it from our trailer. We turned all the lights off and enjoyed the show. It wasn’t Disneyland, but it was very good.

This post is a day behind. We have no cell service, so my post for Friday is written on Thursday morning before we set off in search of cell service and adventure. I reminded Mrs. Lion that Thursday is punishment day. I mentioned that she said she would do maintenance spankings on Thursday punishment day. She corrected me. She said she could do maintenance spankings on Tuesday, which, in fact, she did; or any day she wants. I understand.

Mrs. Lion has internalized her role. She is aware of when I eat and the state of my shirt (no spills allowed). I don’t think she has fully tuned in on me interrupting her. If she is, I’ve been very good about avoiding that sin.

We talked about moving play and sex away from bedtime. So far, punishment has moved earlier in the day, but play and sex still come after we go to bed at night. That’s fine if we both have energy left at the end of the day. So far, we have.

I think this will change when we venture further from our trailer. We’ll see if we can break our old pattern when we get home. Chances are that we will range far and wide. We enjoy exploring our surroundings.

I’m feeling relaxed and satiated so far. That may not last. Today, after all, is punishment day.

By:
In: 2.0, Lion's Journal

We’re at the state park. I’m writing this on July 4th as I sit naked, looking out at trees, grass, and lots of other campers. We arrived yesterday afternoon. It took us a very short time (under 15 minutes) to set up.

There’s no cell service here. But our satellite dish found the mother ship and we have high definition TV. We have to drive ten miles to the nearest town so we can send our posts to the server. Ahh! Roughing it.

Last night we followed a little tradition and had dinner at the local Mexican restaurant. There are five places to eat and this was the first place we tried four years ago when we visited for the first time. At dinner, I managed to spill food on my shirt. For the record, this is the first spill in a long time.

Mrs. Lion, of course, noticed. As soon as we got back to the trailer, before I could undress, The very vicious rubber paddle was on the bed. She asked me if I noticed. I did. As soon as I was naked, she had me assume the position (lying across the bed), and she went to work. She’s definitely getting “better” at this. I turned and asked her to stop. She was sweating. I pointed it out. She said, “Yes,” and made a twirling motion with her hand. That means roll over. I did.

She kept spanking. Her swats made me yelp into the bed. I was very unhappy and getting angry. Anger is a sign of effective spanking. Generally, a spanking, if allowed to continue, will first evoke yelps and some sexual arousal. That arousal disappears quickly and is replaced by pure pain. After a while, anger sets in. After a longer time, that turns to acceptance and sometimes tears.

Each time I’m spanked, Mrs. Lion moves the needle a little further. It’s punishment day today. Thursday punishment days are when Mrs. Lion gives maintenance spankings. I’m not looking forward to this one. Mrs. Lion is improving her spanking skills much faster than I’ve learned to hold still.

She is a devoted game player. Mrs. Lion spends as much free time as she can playing games on her iPad. She works at them until she beats them. She’s written that she is approaching punishment the same way. Each spanking is a learning experience for her. Of course, it is a teaching experience for me.

We snuggled before bed and Mrs. Lion teased me. She’s perfected controlling my orgasms. I’m sure she will perfect spanking soon as well. She’s also consistently aware of my behavior and is ready to punish me if I break a rule.

Yes, this is what I asked her to do. No, I’m not sorry I asked.