By:
In: Orgasm denial, Body Hair Removal

Sunday was hair removal day here. Mrs. Lion waxed me, front and back. Nothing is left between my neck and upper thighs. It’s a good look. I like how my balls feel when completely hairless. The skin is soft and very sensitive. I wonder if she notices. The waxing process takes a lot less time and seems easier for my lioness. It’s true that the hair growing back is thinner (less thick). In most places, less grows back as well. There is one spot above the base of my cock that grows back despite laser and wax treatments. Stubborn.

I always get a short, fun playtime after Mrs. Lion uses oil (light mineral oil) to clean off any wax residue. She oils my cock and balls and then masturbates me. It always feels good. On Sunday, there was something new. She moved her hand down and then let go. Rinse and repeat—just downstrokes. Holy shit!

In the past, she’s used just upstrokes. This technique is exciting but will never produce an orgasm. Nature has programmed us, males, to always ejaculate on the thrust in. That makes sense. We need to ejaculate as close to the cervix as we can get. That gives our sperm the shortest swim to the waiting egg.

That means if his partner is playing with his penis and only moves her hand up from the body, there will be sexual stimulation but no trigger to ejaculate. Mean tops like my lioness know this since this motion is also less arousing because the skin is being pulled up and over the frenulum, which reduces contact and stimulation.

For the record, I’ve had the skin pulled down with one hand while the other (lubed, of course) moves up over the sensitive spot. The result is more arousal but no orgasm regardless of how long she did it. My penis was aware of the direction of stimulation and refused to squirt.

On Sunday, Mrs. Lion did the opposite. She oiled me up and then moved her hand over the head and down to my body. She did it at the same speed she would normally move up and down when she jerked me off. The sensation was amazing. I did not doubt that I would come if she kept it up. She didn’t–the bitch! She smiled and said, “Not now.”

By:
In: Sex
This is my locking cock ring. It allows erections and easy peeing.

Over the last few posts, we’ve been discussing possible ways to restart sex on a regular basis. I admit that I introduced the idea of using a male chastity device again. Mrs. Lion seems to agree that is the best alternative (“No Other Idea”). There is one huge drawback: It becomes nearly impossible to pee neatly. No, sitting down to pee isn’t a viable alternative for me. I have too much difficulty getting up from the toilet to sit every time I pee.

Only one of my chastity devices keeps my urethra reliably aligned. That one is the Evotion Orion. Every time I’ve tried to wear that one, within a few days, I develop a nasty sore under the head of my penis. It appears to be caused by the very mechanism that keeps my urethra in place. There is a ring that fits just under the head that prevents it from slipping back into the device’s body. We tried changing the measurements of the shaft with no luck.

The least reliable for keeping my urethra in position is the Jail Bird. It’s also the most comfortable. Even the one-inch-long version still allows my urethra to wander. I’m not ruling it out as a possibility if Mrs. Lion wants to use it. The Evotion is out because it injures me.

There is one other possibility. We have a locking cock ring. This device doesn’t prevent erection or masturbation. Since I don’t masturbate, that isn’t an issue. It does lock on and is visible if Mrs. Lion cares to look. Taking it off and putting it on is no different than managing the Jail Bird.

Mrs. Lion doesn’t like putting any device on my penis. She hates fiddling with the locking mechanisms. We both agree that I shouldn’t do it myself. The act of removing and putting on a device is an essential component of control. Also, I am much less likely to get a device on successfully.

The reason a male chastity device was so good at getting us back on track had very little to do with its primary function. In the beginning, it trained me not to masturbate. It did its job very well. The act of removing and putting on the device added an element of necessary ritual to sex. It was impossible to look at my genitals and miss that something was locked on. If Mrs. Lion groped me, she would feel the device instead of skin.

I think that’s what made it work for her. The device focused attention on my cock and balls. It was an unsubtle reminder of unfinished business. Maybe we don’t need the full-on chastity device to achieve the same effect.

By:
In: Sex
1-inch long jail bird

I never did very well sustaining traditional romantic moves. I wasn’t all that good in the first place. Maybe there is something wrong with me that prevents me from initiating sex. It isn’t that I don’t want it. I do. I’ve always been horny. I just can’t seem to make the first move.

Over the years, I learned to warn potential partners of this defect. That helped, at least for a while. Sooner or later, the reality of this issue would get in the way of my relationships. Mrs. Lion is struggling with it now. Is she feeling the same sort of fear of rejection that plagues me? It seems that way based on her post yesterday (“Awkward“). After nearly twenty years, you would think that we would have worked out the sex stuff.

It’s true that Mrs. Lion didn’t take to BDSM and spanking the way some women do. One partner of mine considered spanking me as excellent foreplay. She got wet by tying me to the bed and then spanking me. After a while, she needed to turn me loose and “be an attack lion.” I was turned on and ready to mount her. The act of topping me turned her on. Unfortunately, other more serious relationship issues got in our way.

Mrs. Lion and I are perfect for each other in almost every way. Sex seems to be one way we aren’t. I believe that for something to work, both partners need to benefit from the transaction. A good example is a woman getting aroused by topping. It neatly solves the problem of initiation. That isn’t our situation. That may not mean all is lost.

The challenge is to find ways to make sex a win-win. That’s tricky since Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex. The easiest solution is for me not to be interested either. Problem solved. Oh, wait, I am interested. Let’s put a pin in this problem right now. We solved a similar problem not too long ago.

I wanted a disciplinary relationship. That required Mrs. Lion to create rules and enforce them. She isn’t a very proactive person. See, it relates to sex as well. So, how can she make and enforce rules when she isn’t inclined to take action on anything? It took a lot of time and effort. At first, the rules were trivial and thinly veiled excuses to spank me.

That worked very well. Mrs. Lion learned to effectively spank me without feeling guilty for hurting me. In that case, practice made perfect. Now, she is completely happy to bruise my bottom and make me yelp in pain. It isn’t fun for her. It’s more like a chore. Emotion isn’t an issue.

Interestingly, enforcing rules is sort of fun for her. She likes games, and it is a sort of a game to catch me breaking a rule. This is only true if the rule is a concrete, observable offense, like not closing the shower door. If the offense is subjective, like annoying her, she rarely enforces it. Many disciplinary wives have the same issue. Our current challenge is to find more concrete rules to enforce. Suggestions?

OK, back to sex. We are presented with the same sort of challenge we have with discipline. Sex is more difficult. Mrs. Lion doesn’t get turned on. Nothing we can do will make her want sex. The trick is finding something that will be enough fun for her that she will want to do it often. Hopefully, it will also turn me on and lead her to edge me or get me off.

When I was locked in a chastity device, the ritual of unlocking me at least every other day presented a concrete activity that started things going down “there.” It was similar to spanking me because it was a clearly defined activity that she didn’t mind doing. She never grew to like it, and she didn’t enjoy locking me up again. Fiddling with the locking mechanism annoyed her.

I think that it worked because the activity of unlocking me was an expected, clearly-defined activity. She didn’t have to wonder if she should tie up my balls, fondle me, snuggle, or just hold hands. We agreed that the cage came off for teasing and other sexual activities, at least every other day. It was the same as spanking.

We had agreed on discipline, and we both understand what it means. I’m not shocked or upset when the spanking bench comes out. Mrs. Lion knows exactly what to do. There is no ambiguity. Similarly, we both knew that I would be locked in a chastity device and let out every day or two. No ambiguity. We both understood that once unlocked, sexual activity would occur. Mrs. Lion got to choose. Usually, she masturbated me.

I am not saying that I should be locked up again, though it is fine with me if Mrs. Lion decides to do it. My point is that we both do better with clearly understood plans. Ambiguity is the enemy. Whatever Mrs. Lion decides to try as a way to start sex, it has to be followed religiously. She does it when she agreed she should–daily, every other day, etc. I don’t get to say no–just as with spanking. I suppose I could end up in the Jail Bird if Mrs. Lion can’t think of anything else.

By:
In: Life with Mrs. Lion

The one constant in life is change. Reading personal/sexual blogs illustrates this point. Some bloggers start out talking about their real-life activities; chastity devices, spanking, etc. Over time, things change. Some blogs go from journaling to sexual fiction. Others chronicle 180-degree changes: bottom to top, top to bottom, straight to bi, etc. The most important change is rarely documented: more to less.

Entropy applies to sex as it does to everything else in the universe. As we age, our appetites change, and heat cools. The problem is that our minds don’t cool at the same rate as our bodies. This is what makes old men chase young women. In their minds, the seniors are still twenty or thirty years old. The shape of a desirable woman doesn’t age in our male minds.

I’m writing from my male perspective. Women seem to be realists. They understand where they are in the spectrum of desirability. They may not like it, but they know. We men are much less likely to see ourselves realistically. Maybe that’s why Mrs. Lion, like many wives, describes me as her oldest kid.

Retaining perpetual youth, at least mentally, is a good thing in most ways. My sense of wonder hasn’t dimmed. I still love to discover and try new things. I’m always disappointed when I discover that my body doesn’t do what I want. I don’t seem to have a sense of my place on the timeline of my life. I’m sure death will surprise me one day.

Very often, good things have bad sides. For example, the genes that protect against Malaria also cause sickle cell anemia. Natural selection favors disease resistance. If the mutation also causes a deadly disease in a small percentage of the people with the protection, nature counts the mutation as a winner.

I’m not claiming that age blindness is a genetic mutation; it could be. While it has a lot of benefits to people who have it, there are also downsides. Optimism is one benefit. Another is the energy to keep learning and evolving. A big downside is the inability to adjust expectations to match the realities of getting older. Guys with this issue try to date twenty-year-olds when they are 75.

The good news for me is that I optimistically embark on new ventures. I’ve had several different careers in my life that ranged from show business to program management. Currently, I’m trying to become a novelist. Since I haven’t had an English course since high school, I may be delusional to imagine that I have the skill to write something people will want to read.

I know that I can write hot porn. That is hardly a test of writing skills. I want to make a reader see a movie in their (hate using the plural to avoid gender assignment) mind, identify with the protagonist, feel real emotion. That’s hard to do. Getting men hard and women wet with sexual description is easy.

Maybe it’s arrogance for me to believe I can succeed in something just because I decide to do it. It’s the way I’m wired. It’s the only way I can function. So far, over 20 agents disagree that I can be a successful author. Oh well. Someone will give me a chance. Right?

When it comes to sex, my disposition can make things hard on poor Mrs. Lion. Even if it takes me a couple of days to recharge between orgasms, I’m still a young stud in my head. I still want sex even when I can’t perform. It would be much easier on my lioness if I didn’t have the genetic disposition to believe I could do anything I set my mind to. We all have to balance the good and bad when considering our choices.

She picked me. I hope she realized who I am when she did. I worry that the good I offer her outweighs the trouble to keep me. It takes time and energy for lion maintenance. My lioness is good-natured. She’s learned to be an effective disciplinarian. That’s not her nature. It’s something needed to make me happy. All the one-way sex is another cost of maintaining me. I’m grateful she is so willing to do it for me.

It’s not a free ride for me. I may be young inside, but I’m not selfish. It’s painful to consider that I can’t give back what she gives me. I worry that sooner or later, she will realize how little she gets in return for all that work. I’m smart enough to understand that love is much more than weighing transactions. Even if I can’t see it, something must make being with me worthwhile. At least, I hope there is.