March 2023 (Page 3)

A lot has been written about male chastity, mostly by people who want to sell you something. Also popular are stories where an angry wife locks up her naughty husband. Between the sales pitches and fantasies, it’s very difficult to get a good idea of how to play the male chastity game.

Yes, you read it right, male chastity game. My first suggestion to newcomers is to understand that, at its root, male chastity is a game. That doesn’t mean it can’t be serious. Chess champions take that game very seriously. The male chastity game has rules. They aren’t complicated, but if they aren’t followed, chances are good that your effort to try male chastity won’t work.

rule 1: remember that male chastity is a game

Strictly speaking, you don’t need a male chastity device to play. Most of us want to be locked into a device that denies sexual access to our penises as part of the play. Here’s where the first-and-most-important rule comes in. The male has to agree not to cheat. Cheating is having any sort of sexual release (ejaculation) that isn’t provided by the keyholder: the other player.

It’s that simple. No masturbating or any other sex without her (or him). The reason this is so important is that male chastity devices are like passwords; the more difficult to wear, the more secure they are. Think of the male chastity device as a symbol of your commitment, not as a locked door you can open if you try hard enough. I’m not saying that your male chastity device isn’t effective in preventing erections and unauthorized activity. If you get a good one that’s properly fitted, you won’t be able to enjoy any sex until you are unlocked.

The reason this first rule is so important is that you can make wearing comfort more important than security. I have several devices. I’m currently wearing a Mature Metal Jail Bird. This device is absolutely effective in preventing erections and touching. It isn’t escape-proof. With a lot of effort, I think I can get my penis out. It’s impossible to get the device off my balls without unlocking it. My point is that since I wanted to be locked up, why would I want to break rule one?

Before I was locked in a male chastity device, my hands would wander between my legs at various times during the day and night. Masturbation was something I did a few times a week since I was eleven. The male chastity device stopped this cold. After wearing my male chastity device 24/7 (except for cleaning and Mrs. Lion’s playtime), I became conditioned to keep my hands off. Well, that’s not entirely true. When wild (unlocked), I would fondle a bit and get hard. I didn’t jerk off. I haven’t gotten myself off since 2013 whether or not I’m in a male chastity device.

rule 2: keep it simple

Most of us spent a lot of time fantasizing about being locked in a male chastity device. These fantasies probably featured a strict keyholder who required sexual attention and housework as payment to get unlocked. The central theme was that the keyholder used the power of a male chastity device to control her man.

Damn few women think that way or want that sort of relationship. Sex is part of a loving relationship and not something to trade. From what I’ve seen, the main reason that men can’t get their partners to participate in the male chastity game is that their partners make it about domination and submission rather than sex.

Mrs. Lion was willing to lock me up because I told her that the idea turned me on. I didn’t propose a fantasy relationship where I had to earn my release. Instead, I suggested that she keep me from ejaculating until she decided that I was desperate to get off. It was a game. I’m sure the game wasn’t a turnon for her. Seeing my excitement was.

You might find that your partner might be willing to play if the game is simple and aimed at what turns you on,

rule 3: invest in a device you can wear comfortably

Another common mistake is for men to buy a cheap Chinese chastity device that is uncomfortable to wear. The simple fact is that most of the cheap, over-the-counter devices are painful after wearing them for a short time. I’m not suggesting that you order a custom device for your first try, but I am suggesting that you get one that has a chance of staying on your penis for more than a day or two.

I’ve tested a number of devices. If you do a search on the site (top of the right column) for “Review,” you will see what I’ve tested over the years. There are also a number of articles listed at the top of the page to help guide measuring for a device.

The Holy Trainer male chastity devices are reasonably priced (about $175) and comfortable to wear. Their main drawback is that they are tube designs and will collect urine and begin to smell after a short time. That’s not a problem if your partner unlocks you every day or two for cleaning. The cage designs are much easier to keep clean. They are also very hard to wear unless custom-made.

Remember that male chastity is a long game. It will take time and investment to master it. Mrs. Lion and I have been doing it since December 2013. It’s become part of our marriage and we will never stop playing. Have fun!

For the last week or so, I’ve been trying out a new keyboard. It’s very different from any I’ve had before. Each key is much larger than typical PC keyboards. The idea is to make them easier to hit. That sounded like a great idea since I’ve lost some sensation in both hands. What I didn’t consider was that also increased the distance to reach each key. That throws off my touch typing. I’ve gotten better, but still find myself making lots of mistakes. It’s also noisy. It sounds like I am making airline reservations. I haven’t decided whether or not to keep using it.

I am also using another new piece of hardware. Well, not exactly new, just not used in years. That is my Jail Bird male chastity device. It’s amazingly comfortable. I don’t remember finding lockup being so easy in the past. There’s no pinching, and my urine stream is as good as it was when I was wild.

To be fair, I had this male chastity device adjusted several times over the years. Each time its performance improved. The most important change was reducing the cage length to just one inch. That kept the head of my penis in firm contact with the front of the cage. There was no wandering urethra and no pee spraying all over the place.

Mature Metal makes the device. The company consists of a couple. She takes the orders and correspondence, and he does the device construction. They are fairly easy to deal with, and their prices are fair. She is stuck in the 1990s and insists on getting keyholder permission before sending a new security-screw key. It’s an annoyance that she doesn’t realize that male chastity has evolved past that silliness.

I noticed that the price of the base cage has gone down a little. As I recall, it was $400 when I bought mine. Now it is $330. We added the security screw instead of a padlock. It’s worked very well for us. You can use the padlock on cages that are threaded for the screw. The lock is available on Amazon at the same price that Mature Metal charges. I’d suggest getting it from Amazon. They ship faster and for free.

My Jail Bird is the only chastity device that I’ve worn that is so comfortable I forget I’m wearing it. Its open design makes keeping clean very easy. The only maintenance I do is to give it a bath in my ultrasound cleaner once a month. That’s needed to get accumulated oil and protein off the stainless steel.

how to get the best fit

If I sound less than enthusiastic about buying a Jail Bird, it’s only because I found the silly “have her call me” stuff a waste of energy and time. On the other hand, if you get the measurements right, the device is perfect. Speaking of measurements, there are three that will make or break your comfort. The first is the base ring diameter. Most guys think that they should wear the smallest base ring they can tolerate. That’s wrong.

There is an easy way to get the perfect base ring size. Buy the set of fitting rings from Mature Metal. It was about twenty bucks. Then try them on. I suggest starting with the 1-3/4 inch size. Most men end up with that. Wear it for several days. If it hurts and irritates your skin, go up a size. If your balls escape, go down one. You are looking for a size that will contain your balls and not irritate your skin. Don’t use any lube or cream under the ring. It has to feel completely comfortable on its own. You have to be able to comfortably wear the ring without irritation.

The cage size is trickier. Most guys, including me, start out with a cage that is much longer than they need. A flaccid penis can shrink a lot during the day. The cage has to be short enough so that the tip of your penis is in firm contact with the front of the cage at all times. It turned out that a one-inch cage did that job perfectly. It’s better to err on the side of too short rather than too long. The diameter of the cage is a different story. You don’t want to compress your penis that way.

If the cage is too narrow, you will get edema–swelling from fluids trapped in your penis. If this occurs, take the device off at once! You can avoid this by accurately measuring the diameter of your cock when it’s soft. An easy way to do this is to take a piece of paper or ribbon, and loosely wrap it around the thickest part of the shaft. Mark where the ribbon just reaches around. Then measure how long it is. That’s the circumference of your penis. Divide that number by 3.1416 (pi) to get the diameter. That’s the size you should order. It’s important to get this right. It costs a lot to change later.

The last dimension is the gap. That’s the distance the cage is kept from the base ring. It’s not super important to get right and can be changed later. If it is too narrow, it will hurt to wear the device. Too wide doesn’t do any damage at all. I suggest you ask the Mature Metal folks what they suggest.

You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned security. There’s a good reason  I haven’t. If you are worried about being able to escape, you need to rethink why you want male chastity. You are wearing a male chastity device to prevent erections and masturbation. It is a forceful reminder that your penis isn’t your toy. It belongs to someone else who wants your hands off. Right?