By:
In: Spanking, Sex

Today is punishment day. It’s the second one since I’ve agreed to spank Lion every punishment day. This morning, when he reminded me what day it was, he quickly said, “Poor Lion.” I’d feel sorry for him if I didn’t know he was the one who suggested punishment day swats.

Lion thinks I’ll feel more heard if I spank him for annoying me. I don’t know if I agree with that. It’s not that I disagree. I’m just not sure. I think yelling at him, or even a snarky remark, would make me feel better. It may not do anything for him though. He’ll respond better to a sore bottom. I wonder if he’ll think he can make remarks about people on TV because he’s already getting spanked. He said something this morning. I noticed it, but I didn’t say anything. I don’t think he was trying to push my buttons so I’ll add time. He doesn’t operate like that. He knows if he intentionally misbehaves, he’ll get a stronger punishment. I think he didn’t even realize he did it. By rights, I have to increase his time. It’s what I agreed to when Lion suggested punishment day spanking. I don’t think it merits extra time, but I’m stuck doing it.

On the sex side of the world, I took out some clothespins, sat on the side of the bed, and tried jerking him off while his balls were being pinched. I can never seem to get the right angle sitting on his side of the bed. He did get a little excited, but it was hit and miss. After I removed the clothespins, I asked if he’d get harder if I sucked him. He said he definitely would, so that’s what I did. He got nice and hard. I think he enjoyed himself even if he didn’t quite make it to the edge. I know I enjoyed it.

By:
In: Domestic discipline

We are starting our new program of three-times-a-week spankings. Today is the second punishment day that it is in force. Having only had one thrice-weekly spankings, I’m feeling good about the program. The thing is that it doesn’t matter how I feel about it. I not only agreed, but asked Mrs. Lion to spank me each of our three weekly punishment days. She’s not going to stop because I change my mind.

There’s no reason for her to stop. We agree that this is necessary to help her learn to routinely punish subjective offenses. These offenses are particularly important to me. They are the sort of behaviors that can foster bad feelings between us. Mrs. Lion is not good at letting me know when I upset her. It takes several instances of particularly annoying things to get her to react in a way I can detect. Those reactions are passive-aggressive.

I think it is important that she let me know each and every time when I annoy her. We’ve learned that the best way to do that is to spank me. I improve my behavior quickly after one or two (or three) spankings. More important, Mrs. Lion feels heard when she spanks me. I’m not sure she always realizes this benefit. She says she spanks me because I’ve asked her to punish me. It’s true that I have. I believe that she benefits by bringing my offenses to the forefront as well. I can’t ignore or minimize her opinion. You try to do that when you get ten minutes of painful spanking. Nope. I have to take everything she thinks is important enough to spank me seriously.

That’s the most valuable part of domestic discipline. It levels the marital playing field. Mrs. Lion has the undisputed power to make me take her seriously. If I interrupt her and she spanks me for it, I have to look at my behavior carefully. If I don’t, another spanking will surely follow. Mrs. Lion is happy to punish me each time I break a rule. It’s up to me to avoid the spankings.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Last night was supposed to be sexy night. We haven’t been eating lunch, so we’ve been hungry earlier than usual. After his shower, Lion snoozed a bit and then I went to make dinner. I noticed he left his office door open. I wondered if that was an invitation to set up the massage table. When I was done with the dinner dishes, I asked him what the Lion weather was like. He said it was pretty cold. I left it at that. Fail!

I don’t think he was really testing me. I don’t think he left the office door open on purpose. However, based on previous posts, I should have insisted he try to get in the mood. Of course, I’m just thinking about this now. Had I thought about it at the time, I would have encouraged him. On the other hand, I knew his eye was bothering him. Was that what was making the weather chilly? Argh! There are a lot of moving parts. [Lion — My eye was having a severe allergic reaction to something. I could hardly see and was doped up on antihistamines.]

Okay. For tonight’s test, I will push back if he says he isn’t interested. If there’s a good reason, I will leave it. What’s a good reason? Damned if I know. It could be something physical, like his eye, or emotional, like his brother dying (he doesn’t have a brother). Naturally, it doesn’t have to be a severe issue. I think it needs to be something other than just not feeling like it. We have to at least try. If nothing happens, nothing happens. He can’t be “on” all the time.

He’s said there should be repercussions if he can’t get excited for me. I think that’s ridiculous. If he makes dinner and it doesn’t come out perfectly, I wouldn’t punish him. Things happen. Maybe that’s too laid-back of me, but I won’t punish him for not getting excited.

By:
In: Spanking, Domestic discipline

It may seem odd that we have started a series of scheduled spankings. It seems a little more like BDSM than domestic discipline. It isn’t BDSM at all. We’ve been stalled in our domestic discipline. Mrs. Lion is 100 percent consistent when it comes to spanking me for leaving the shower door open or failing to set up our coffee maker. She has no trouble delivering a painful ten-minute spanking for those offenses. When it comes to more subjective offenses, it’s very different.

We both agree that I should be punished for annoying Mrs. Lion. She dislikes it when I interrupt her (who could blame her?). She also isn’t fond of me acting like a know-it-all. A long time ago, she made doing those things punishable offenses. The problem is that she doesn’t spank me for committing them. This isn’t unusual. Other couples report the same problem with punishing these subjective behavioral problems.

I think there is a simple explanation. Breaking rules, like leaving the shower door open (if I do, the dog goes in and splashes around), are easy to spot and not subject to any interpretation. Interrupting, on the other hand, isn’t so easy to punish. Did I really interrupt, or was there a pause in the conversation that made me think she was done with the thought? Worse yet, did I really annoy her, or was she upset by something else?

It’s too easy to rationalize away those offenses. My perspective is different. If I interrupt, even if it is because of a long pause in a thought, I’m still wrong. I should be more aware of the flow of the conversation and less interested in inserting my contribution. As far as I’m concerned, nothing should mitigate an interruption. It’s no different than leaving the shower door open. The same is true of being a know-it-all. No excuses. As far as being annoying in other ways, that will take some time for her to work out.

Our new three-spankings-a-week routine provides an infrastructure for punishing subjective offenses. Before we started it, if I interrupted, Mrs. Lion would have to initiate a spanking. That’s not a big deal physically, but emotionally I imagine it is. However, if she is already going to spank me for five minutes as part of the new plan, it isn’t emotionally difficult to add five more for interrupting or annoying her. I’m already getting paddled.

This technique worked well when we first started DD. “Punishment days” were set up to help her remember to spank me for breaking rules. In those days, I had a bunch of easy-to-break rules that Mrs. Lion designed to give us both practice with dd. One rule from back then that I have to follow to this day is reminding her on each punishment day (Monday, Thursday, and Saturday). I do this faithfully. If I forget, I am spanked.

Our new agreement has me spanked on each punishment day for the same reason we started it years ago. It gives Mrs. Lion an easy reminder to punish me for subjective offenses. If I don’t break a rule, I get at least five minutes of spanking each punishment day. If I break one rule, I get ten minutes. Five minutes are added for each additional offense. Since I’m already riding the spanking bench, and Mrs. Lion is committed to at least five minutes of spanking me, she shouldn’t be terribly worried about whether or not a subjective offense is important enough to punish. She’s already spanking me. We’ll see how this works.