Failed the First Test


Last night was supposed to be sexy night. We haven’t been eating lunch, so we’ve been hungry earlier than usual. After his shower, Lion snoozed a bit and then I went to make dinner. I noticed he left his office door open. I wondered if that was an invitation to set up the massage table. When I was done with the dinner dishes, I asked him what the Lion weather was like. He said it was pretty cold. I left it at that. Fail!

I don’t think he was really testing me. I don’t think he left the office door open on purpose. However, based on previous posts, I should have insisted he try to get in the mood. Of course, I’m just thinking about this now. Had I thought about it at the time, I would have encouraged him. On the other hand, I knew his eye was bothering him. Was that what was making the weather chilly? Argh! There are a lot of moving parts. [Lion — My eye was having a severe allergic reaction to something. I could hardly see and was doped up on antihistamines.]

Okay. For tonight’s test, I will push back if he says he isn’t interested. If there’s a good reason, I will leave it. What’s a good reason? Damned if I know. It could be something physical, like his eye, or emotional, like his brother dying (he doesn’t have a brother). Naturally, it doesn’t have to be a severe issue. I think it needs to be something other than just not feeling like it. We have to at least try. If nothing happens, nothing happens. He can’t be “on” all the time.

He’s said there should be repercussions if he can’t get excited for me. I think that’s ridiculous. If he makes dinner and it doesn’t come out perfectly, I wouldn’t punish him. Things happen. Maybe that’s too laid-back of me, but I won’t punish him for not getting excited.