By:
In: Erections, Edging, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex

We talked a little bit yesterday about what I wanted Lion to do rather than just lay there. The problem is, I don’t know. He said he’s sort of stuck in position by the bed. Our Sleep Number bed isn’t as bad as sinking into a memory foam mattress, which left us feeling like turtles stuck on our backs, but it tends to keep you in place. I’m not even sure I was thinking about him moving anywhere. I think it was more of an attention thing. With the TV on (not muted, not paused), I guess I felt like he was distracted. That’s one reason I hate spending so much time in bed. We’re just always there. I feel like I’m competing for TV time and whatever else is going on. I also wonder if Lion would be snoozing so much if we watched TV in the living room.

Regardless of that, I moved over to snuggle and started playing with my weenie. He was responding, but he wasn’t getting quite as hard as I would have liked. When I sat up to play with him, I really didn’t want to use my hand. We’ve been experimenting to see if I can still edge him with my hand. In the back of my mind, I thought it was the best of both worlds. If I can give him an orgasm by hand, I have the option of keeping it for myself or making Lion eat it. He hates it, so obviously, it’s something I do from time to time. However, I miss sucking him. I shared that with Lion, and he graciously suggested I should do it. What a guy! I mean, what a nightmare having a woman suck your cock.

I managed to edge him at least three times. He was very close for two of them. Then he sort of lost it. I think it still felt good, but he wasn’t as hard. Unwilling to give up on him, I kept going. I thought maybe I could revive him. He doesn’t always stop. Sometimes I’ve just let him come down too much, and more sucking gets him hard again. Not this time. I asked if he was broken. He said he wasn’t, but we weren’t getting anywhere. Then my arm started to fall asleep. You know, once that happens, it’s very hard to get that tingling to stop. But I had to.

I don’t know how long it has been since I edged Lion. I don’t even know how long it’s been since I sucked him. I think I’ll continue to prime the pump with my hand and follow up with my mouth. It seems to work best for both of us.

[Lion — I’m sure I will regret this comment. If Mrs. Lion wants to feed me semen and she is using her mouth, she can kiss it to me after I have come.]

By:
In: Sex

Recently, Mrs. Lion has explained that she hasn’t teased or tortured me because I fell asleep. I suppose that sometimes I do take a cat nap after dinner. My naps rarely last more than half an hour. I don’t know why Mrs. Lion sees this as a signal that we can’t have sexual fun. The logical explanation is that she isn’t very interested and uses my cat nap to signal that I’m not interested either.

The problem for me is that I have no control over these naps. Most of the time, I’m not even aware that I slept. The only immediate clue I get is that the TV show that was on when I fell asleep had ended. It’s like a slice of time has disappeared from my life. When I wake up, I am no different than I was before I fell asleep. My libido is just as active or inactive. I’ve discussed this with Mrs. Lion. Each time we talk about it, she ignores my naps for a while. Then, she goes back to blaming them for no action.

I think the real story is that she isn’t all that interested. It’s a purely altruistic act on her part. There is absolutely nothing in it for her. On Friday night, I had imposed on her by asking her to drive me 25 miles to pick up my glasses. We didn’t get home until 8:30. By the time we ate the takeout we got, it was after 9. About an hour after we ate, I fell asleep for 20 minutes. By then, I was sure Mrs. Lion wasn’t in the mood.

Of course, she’s never in the mood. Sex is over for her. I’m lucky she makes an effort to provide a release for me. Beggars can’t be choosers. Lately, it feels like there is a wall between our beds. I know she loves me. I don’t think she likes physical contact with me very much. I’ve noticed that I initiate any touching we do outside of sex. This makes me sad.

Maybe it is time to stop expecting contact, sexual or otherwise. Perhaps I have to either give up sex or find release another way.

[Mrs. Lion — I should have made it clear that I was tired after picking up Lion’s glasses. We both snoozed for a bit in the afternoon. And he didn’t impose on me to drive him. I’ll drive him anywhere he wants to go, anytime he wants to go. As far as the wall between our beds is concerned, sure the napping comes into play, but I’ve also been feeling like Lion just lays there. When I move over to snuggle and play with my weenie, he does nothing. Just lays there. It feels like the old stereotype of the woman laying there while the husband “does his business” and gets off her. I’m not sure what I want him to do, but turning off the TV or acknowledging me other than the obvious erection would go a long way.]

By:
In: Erections

Today is a somber day. I just want to take a moment to remember those who were affected by the attacks on 9/11. Lion and I were living in New York, although we were not together at the time. His then-girlfriend was in Manhattan, trying to get out. My then-husband was on the last train that made it to the World Trade Center PATH station. It was hours before I heard from him. It was even longer before he made it out of Manhattan. I have no idea what it’s like for the families who lost loved ones or for the people who made it out alive, but I do know the memory of the planes hitting the towers and the towers falling will always be with me. The other two crashes were tragic too, but being in New York and having been to the World Trade Center on many occasions is the most vivid memory for me.

We decided late yesterday afternoon to pick up Lion’s replacement glasses. We were going and then decided not to, but when the subject of dinner came up, we decided we could pick up KFC on the way back from getting the glasses. We didn’t get home until about 8. By the time we ate and settled in, it was pretty much too late to do anything sexual. Lion was snoozing off and on. It just wasn’t a sexy night.

Today we are off to run errands. We’ll get an earlier start, and we should be home in plenty of time for dinner and subsequent activities. Assuming he snoozes a bit along the way, Lion should be awake enough to participate. I won’t let another night go by without at least trying to arouse him. My weenie needs frequent exercise. It’s been a few days since he’s been interested. I can’t remember when I got him hard last. I am determined to do it tonight.

By:
In: Sex

Maybe I’ll ask Mrs. Lion to ride me on my birthday. It’s been 1,293 days since the last time I was ridden. I’m not sure how well it will work out if she decides to try. Since she doesn’t get any sexual pleasure from it, as I recall, the experience isn’t the same as when she wanted an orgasm. Part of the problem is the amount of lube she used last time. Less may be more in this situation.

Fucking was never my number one sexual activity. I always liked oral sex better–both giving and getting. I haven’t felt deprived these last 1,293 days. If that sounds like a long time, the last time I jerked off was 2,427 days ago. (Don’t you love Google? Just type in a date and ask how long ago it was.) I don’t miss jerking off. It was never very entertaining. I do miss giving my lioness orgasms by riding me (cowgirl style). After she had her orgasm, she would turn around (reverse cowgirl) and ride me until I came. It’s nearly impossible for me to come when Mrs. Lion fucks me in the cowgirl position.

It may be that I’m past being ridden. I’m not sure that I wouldn’t exhaust Mrs. Lion before I finished. In the old days, much of the time, she would ride me cowgirl style until she came. Then she would dismount and finish me with her hand. That was big fun too. This was before sex stopped meaning regular orgasms for me.

I still worry that I broke my lioness. She wanted me to initiate sex, and I failed miserably at that. She took the lead because I didn’t. Later, after we began male chastity, she wrote about how important it was for me to initiate. I can’t help but wonder if my inability to do this didn’t turn her off to sex.

Male chastity was made for me. I’ve always found it nearly impossible to take the lead sexually. I don’t know why. I haven’t been rejected much in my life. It’s just how I’m wired. Anyway, Mrs. Lion always complains that it’s hard to get me presents. Maybe this gift suggestion will help.