By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

I haven’t been able to get Lion interested in sex for a few days. One night he was full from dinner. One night his buns hurt from his spanking. I don’t remember what excuse if any, he had last night. Of course, no excuse is necessary. I offer. If he’s not interested, I try again the next day. Eventually, I do start to wonder what’s going on. I’m not at that point yet. He hasn’t complained about being broken. I know he isn’t broken. He knows it, too, even though he says he is from time to time.

When I can’t get him aroused, I wonder if I’m annoying him by trying. I’m pretty sure he wonders if he’s annoying me by taking longer than usual to show interest. I just don’t want to keep going if I’m bothering him. I don’t want to start if it bothers him. What guy wouldn’t want his penis fondled? He says it feels good even if he’s not going to get hard, so maybe I don’t really need to worry about bothering him. [Lion — Nope!] Unless he’s in pain or not feeling well, I think he’d at least like to snuggle. And if my hand wanders, well, what’s the harm.

This is all a silly dance we play where we try not to do anything to upset one other. He doesn’t want to take advantage of me by “making” me play with him. I don’t want to assume he wants attention. I guess we both assume the other won’t speak up. I told you it was silly. He will tell me if he doesn’t think he’ll get very far when I’m playing with him. I will tell him if I don’t feel like playing. I don’t know why we worry.

Tonight I’ll try to get Lion excited again. It will either work or it won’t. If it works, he’ll either get to the edge, or he won’t. We just keep plugging along.

By:
In: Punishment

After almost three decades of BDSM, I thought I understood something as basic as spanking. Before being with Mrs. Lion, I must have spanked 100 women and had been spanked by ten. None of the spankings were punishment. They were part of the BDSM play. Based on my experience as a bottom, spankings affected me in a predictable pattern.

First, each swat would sting sharply. I wanted to escape. After a while, the pain would dull. At some point, it would become tolerable, even enjoyable in an odd way. Most spankings started with a hand and progressed to a leather or wood paddle. I rarely felt any lasting effects.

Spanking changed when Mrs. Lion began punishing me. She used paddles. They were selected from my collection for their ability to inflict the most pain. Over time, she learned which paddles stung and made my bottom red and which ones would bruise me and hurt for days. She discovered tender spots inside my crack and on my perineum. She didn’t worry about drawing blood. I bleed as well as get blisters when beaten.

She learned to make the experience miserable for me. I can hear her saying, “You wanted it. You got it.”

Yup, I did. (note the past tense). Predictably, when the pain became horrible and the sexual thrill was gone, I questioned why I subjected myself to this suffering. Of course, the answer is simple: It isn’t my choice. I may have started the ball rolling, even encouraged Mrs. Lion from time to time, but I don’t control how often or how vigorously I get spanked. Spanking is punishment.

Now that the punishment is meaningful (translation: I hate every second of it), I’m forced to come to terms that I am subject to punishment, not some BDSM role play. This realization has come slowly. It’s very similar to Mrs. Lion learning to punish me for annoying her.

It turns out that a light doesn’t just come on, and I realize that I am actually subject to real discipline. It’s a gradual process. As long as Mrs. Lion consistently punishes me, I think that realization will grow until I fully understand my role. Both of us have been learning. It turns out Mrs. Lion’s role is active. She learns to observe and punish. Mine is passive. I have to learn to unconditionally accept her will and retribution when I displease her. The better she gets, the more challenging it is for me.

By:
In: Punishment, Spanking
Lion’s butt when I got done with his spanking.

I didn’t look at Lion, but I’m sure he wasn’t happy that I dragged the spanking bench out last night. He wants me to spank him for breaking the rules, but he isn’t fond of the idea when it’s actually going to happen. He grudgingly complies with my “request” to get in position. Once I strap him in, he has no other option.

large sporkwood paddle on lion's ass
My large paddle

I swatted him a few times with the biggest paddle. He asked if I was going to set a timer. Was he in a rush? He wasn’t going anywhere. I set the ten-minute timer and started to swat him again. The dog tries to console him, but she winds up getting in the way, so I had to stop to put her in her crate. I don’t know how long that took, but it was time off the timer. No problem. I could make it up at the end. That’s when Lion says I keep going “long” after the timer goes off. While that’s true, the past few spankings it has been because I had to corral the dog, which took time away from spanking.

Anyway, it’s been a while since he’s been spanked. I wanted to make sure he got his money’s worth. I used a variety of paddles to get him nice and red all over. I made sure his crack got some attention. And then I started to hit harder. I know. Lion thinks I was hitting hard before this point. Let’s just say I hit harder than the harder I was already hitting. Little blood droplets appeared. It wasn’t bad. Sure he was making my paddle dirty, but that’s the price you pay for whomping a Lion.

By the time I was done with him, his buns were all bloody. Most of that was blood transfer from the paddle. As I swatted the bloody areas, it would get on my paddle, and then I’d hit a non-bloody spot, and the blood from the paddle would stay. I took a picture of his lovely blood-dripping butt before I cleaned it off. It looks worse than it is because of the transfer. That’s not to say it didn’t look bad after I cleaned it. I definitely left my mark.

When I asked Lion if he was sore this morning, he said no. Then he revised that to report some soreness. I told him I was glad my hard work wasn’t wasted. Poor Lion.

By:
In: Domestic discipline

Tuesday night, we took our 16-week-old puppy to her first training class. It turned out that we were the only people enrolled, so it was a private lesson. Our little golden retriever is very smart and easy to train. I’m sure Mrs. Lion wishes the same were true of me. Because of our 6 PM training class, I didn’t get punished for not setting up the coffee pot on Sunday. Tonight (Wednesday) will probably be a different story. My lioness doesn’t forget.

I asked Mrs. Lion for her reaction to my post yesterday. It was about using her power to correct the behavior that annoys her. She responded that it was like a similar post a few days earlier. She’s right; it was. I think it is the next big hurdle in our FLR. It may be a brick wall. I hope not. Last week when she punished me for being snarky to the TV, she made a point I hadn’t considered. I had no idea that behavior annoyed her.

If she is serious about helping me change, it will probably take more than one spanking for me to learn. I caught myself growling at contestants this morning after Mrs. Lion went to work. I’m not cured. The big question for me is how to help her observe and punish issues like this.

Part of the problem is solved. Mrs. Lion is committed to “just because” spankings at least once a week. She planned to do two a week, but so far, that hasn’t happened. If I’m going to be spanked anyway, if she observes annoying behavior, all she has to do is tell me that is why I’m getting spanked.  She was going to do it anyway. It seems to me that punishment isn’t the difficult part of solving this problem.

Even, red color and bruises where I sit are Mrs. Lion’s goals when she spanks me.

At this point, my lioness has no problem spanking me. Whatever worries she might have had about beating my butt have long disappeared. The issue is observing and reporting my behavioral errors. She’s told me that she likes that part of our FLR. It’s fun for her to catch me breaking a rule. The punishment isn’t a fun part of her game, but she recognizes it as a necessary element. Between you and I, I think she has some fun spanking me. She seems to like getting my bottom an even-dark red and making me feel it at least two days after she spanks me. It’s a kind of arts and crafts activity for her.

The challenge is to find a way to move from concrete rules to subjective reactions to my behavior. I’ve been thinking about this. If, at least initially, we agree that if anything that I am involved in causes her annoyance or impatience, that should count as an infraction that requires punishment. This is the experimental stage. We both know that many punishments will be for things that wouldn’t be spankable once the game goes into production. We’ve learned that we need a beta test period where the objective isn’t being fair. The objective is to discover and punish as much as possible. That’s how it worked with our old rules. There’s no reason it won’t work as well with this.