By:
In: Punishment

Lion fell yesterday and hurt his ribs. He was in a fair amount of pain. We didn’t go to the casino. We didn’t do a “just because” spanking. We didn’t play. He feels a little better today after taking some pain pills last night to help him sleep.

We were supposed to go away this weekend. Given the fact that Lion was hurt, I’m glad we had already decided not to go. However, I took today off so we could spend some time together. We’ll probably hit the casino later. Tomorrow is waxing day if Lion feels up to it. There’s never anything written in stone when we make plans. I’ve lived long enough to know that things don’t always go as planned. I tend to go with the flow.

Based on Lion’s post this morning, he wants me to jump right in the deep end with respect to punishing him. He doesn’t care if I’ve had a bad day, and I’m not really punishing him for annoying me so much as taking out my frustrations about something at work. I don’t know if I can do that. I can probably get to the point that I can punish him for annoying me, but if I think that he’s annoyed me only because I’m already annoyed, I can’t do that. It’s not fair.

When people come to work and allow their personal problems to interfere with their job, they’re told to leave their problems at the door. Why would it be different for home? Shouldn’t I leave my work problems at the door? I mean, I can vent about things, but as soon as it starts to intrude on home life, it needs to be turned off. Isn’t that part of the work-life balance? Lion seems to be saying no. It shouldn’t matter where the rage is coming from as long as he did something to deserve punishment.

Who decides what deserves punishment? I thought it was me. Shouldn’t I be the one to decide that his comment/action annoyed me only because I was already annoyed? What if he says or does the same thing the next day when I’m not frustrated about work? Maybe it doesn’t bother me then. I think it’s inconsistent to punish him one day and not the other for doing the same thing. Clearly, this is not an easy problem to solve.

By:
In: Punishment

It turns out that the difficulty Mrs. Lion has with punishing me for disrespect or annoying behavior is shared by other couples practicing domestic discipline. The very interesting blog, The Disciplinary Couples Club recently discussed this issue.

This is the specific question:  For the wives, I’m curious, do you agree that being a disciplinarian is easier if there is less discretion involved and the spankable offenses aren’t subject to your interpretation or judgment? Or, are you more comfortable with discretion and calling it like you see it?

Here is one woman’s response:

“I have always called it as I see fit. We have never drawn up a list of rules my husband has to follow because that would feel like a straight jacket to me. Basically, I expect him to do as he’s told, and I expect him to be respectful. If I become dissatisfied or annoyed, or angry with him, there is always an element of subjectivity, and He knows that my mood can influence my disciplinary decisions. For example, if he rolls his eyes when I point out that I am dissatisfied with something, I may let it go or not, depending on my mood. There is also a subjective element in my reading of his mental and emotional state. Sometimes I have spanked him because I judge that he needs it. Because he has a spanking kink, I think being spanked makes it easier for him to accept the terms of our FLR.”

This is a rare response to that question. I understand why it is difficult for Mrs. Lion to punish me for interrupting or annoying her. It’s an aspirational goal for her to feel good about doing this. I realize that it is difficult to do. It’s one thing to enforce a rule that is clearcut and fully understood by both of us. It’s another to punish me for something I might not agree is fair. Based on the quote above, it seems to me that the big change is to accept that it is perfectly acceptable to punish me for no other reason than I upset Mrs. Lion. Subjective reasons are probably more valid than the concrete rules.

If domestic discipline is to be an effective social lubricant in our marriage, then the optimum application is to use it when I cause dissatisfaction or annoyance. I am absolutely fine with the subjective, mood-based application of spanking. It’s what I’ve always wanted. The concrete rules were just meant to be training wheels to help Mrs. Lion build up her disciplinary chops. Maybe the time has come to dive into the deep end and spank me for subjective offenses. What do you say, Mrs. Lion?

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion said something last night that both did and did not make sense. He made a noise while I was playing with my weenie and when I asked him what it meant, he said I have to play with him the way he likes it, or it won’t work, and I wonder why he doesn’t get hard. Let’s dissect this.

There are times a stiff breeze will arouse Lion. If he’s super horny, then touching his leg can get a rise out of him. He has also been known to get hard when I slather IcyHot on his balls. Obviously, it burns like hell, and I’m not playing with him the way he likes it. In cases like these, his statement does not make sense. On the other hand, sometimes, I have to beg and plead to get an erection. Those times it would seem to make sense that I’d need to hit just the right spot just the right way to make him hard.

From these observations, I think it all depends on his horniness level. Last night, a few days after orgasm, he wasn’t as horny as he might be, even three days later. Maybe the arousal from a stiff breeze doesn’t happen until day ten. Perhaps it isn’t time contingent. In the past, he’s been super horny after only four days. We’ve never been able to figure out why his super horniness fluctuates. I guess the point is that I have to read the situation and go from there.

Tonight we’re going to the casino. We may or may not have a free dinner coming. We’re just looking for some outside entertainment. And Lion wants to get out of the house. He’s basically trapped unless I’m home to take him somewhere. So we’ll sit in one chair for hours and marvel at the lights and sounds. We’ll eat. And then sit in either the same or different chairs for hours to marvel at the lights and sounds. The difference is that we can’t stay too long because of the dog.

Thank you, Willow.

By:
In: Male Chastity, Spanking

One side effect of a full-time kink is that so-called normal stuff seems exotic and odd. It’s one thing if your kink is confined to sessions complete with toys and role play. That sort of thing is always exotic to me. We don’t do that. Orgasm control and domestic discipline are routine. I can’t imagine ejaculating on my own. We are in our eighth year of orgasm control. In that time, not one ejaculation occurred that wasn’t provided by my lioness.

Every so often, when I read comments to posts on various blogs, I get an insight into how the “other half” lives. Guys write about jerking off. They are proud when they hold off for a few days. That’s kinky! Imagine that a guy getting himself off because he decides he wants to ejaculate. Wow!

I realize that most of the planet would think that our disciplinary marriage is odd. It breaks two taboos: The first is that the man is supposed to be in charge in a Western marriage. The second is that Mrs. Lion spanks me as needed. Both are beyond kinky here in the US.

Even couples who spank their spouses do it in an obviously sexual context. All you need to do is read the so-called contracts they write. The spanked partner creates a contract that specifies the conditions under which he or she will be punished. Generally, there is a lot of sex included in the language.

OK, I’m drawn to being spanked because the idea of my lioness spanking me is a turn-on. It’s that attraction to it that got us started. It also encouraged me to help Mrs. Lion get stricter. At some point, domestic discipline became a routine part of our relationship. There is no fanfare, no fancy scolding, and no punishment underwear. Mrs. Lion brings out our spanking bench and tells me to get into position. Without another word, she spanks me. I have no idea what paddles she is using. My job is to remain in position. Period.

When she is done, she tells me to get up. If I bled a little too much, she might rub antiseptic cream on my bottom and spread a towel on the bed. That’s it. She isn’t interested if I was turned on or not. Usually, we don’t discuss it. Sometimes she will take a picture before I get up. Spanking isn’t an event any more than dinner. It’s a normal part of our lives.

I would have never guessed that orgasm control and domestic discipline would become routine. Before we started, they seemed like very hot and exotic kinks. Chastity devices and paddle shopping added to the excitement. I do occasionally buy a new paddle for Mrs. Lion. The first time she uses it, I regret my purchase. The point is that eventually, even the most extreme kink will become routine if consistently practiced. I’m happy that’s what happened to us. So, I think, is Mrs. Lion.