It turns out that the difficulty Mrs. Lion has with punishing me for disrespect or annoying behavior is shared by other couples practicing domestic discipline. The very interesting blog, The Disciplinary Couples Club recently discussed this issue.
This is the specific question: For the wives, I’m curious, do you agree that being a disciplinarian is easier if there is less discretion involved and the spankable offenses aren’t subject to your interpretation or judgment? Or, are you more comfortable with discretion and calling it like you see it?
Here is one woman’s response:
“I have always called it as I see fit. We have never drawn up a list of rules my husband has to follow because that would feel like a straight jacket to me. Basically, I expect him to do as he’s told, and I expect him to be respectful. If I become dissatisfied or annoyed, or angry with him, there is always an element of subjectivity, and He knows that my mood can influence my disciplinary decisions. For example, if he rolls his eyes when I point out that I am dissatisfied with something, I may let it go or not, depending on my mood. There is also a subjective element in my reading of his mental and emotional state. Sometimes I have spanked him because I judge that he needs it. Because he has a spanking kink, I think being spanked makes it easier for him to accept the terms of our FLR.”
This is a rare response to that question. I understand why it is difficult for Mrs. Lion to punish me for interrupting or annoying her. It’s an aspirational goal for her to feel good about doing this. I realize that it is difficult to do. It’s one thing to enforce a rule that is clearcut and fully understood by both of us. It’s another to punish me for something I might not agree is fair. Based on the quote above, it seems to me that the big change is to accept that it is perfectly acceptable to punish me for no other reason than I upset Mrs. Lion. Subjective reasons are probably more valid than the concrete rules.
If domestic discipline is to be an effective social lubricant in our marriage, then the optimum application is to use it when I cause dissatisfaction or annoyance. I am absolutely fine with the subjective, mood-based application of spanking. It’s what I’ve always wanted. The concrete rules were just meant to be training wheels to help Mrs. Lion build up her disciplinary chops. Maybe the time has come to dive into the deep end and spank me for subjective offenses. What do you say, Mrs. Lion?