As promised, I got punished for failing to set up the coffee pot for Monday’s breakfast. Mrs. Lion continues to make spankings more unpleasant for me. Monday night was a merciless display of paddle application to my bottom. As she paddled me, she reminded me that I said I wanted longer spankings. She was happy to oblige. This one went on and on. I yelped loudly throughout her virtuoso performance. Today (Tuesday), I can still feel it as I sit in my desk chair.
Mrs. Lion went on long enough to make gripping the spanking spoon difficult. Her hand kept sliding on the finished wood handle. In her post yesterday, she reported that it was uncomfortable for her—poor dear. Last summer, I purchased some golf club grip material. I believe she reported the handle of some spanking implement was too narrow. We never did anything about that, so the grip was still available. I wrapped the spanking spoon handle with the non-slip golf club grip material. That should make spanking me more comfortable for her and probably worse for me.
Yes, I asked for it. Well, it wasn’t so much that I asked for it. I felt that it was too easy for me to get spanked and forget about it. You know, the spankings hurt, but they ended before I had enough time to truly regret my transgression. Monday night, I had plenty of time to contemplate my sin. I couldn’t wait for her to stop. She wouldn’t. It went on and on.
Her style wasn’t fancy. She didn’t spread my cheeks. She didn’t have to. I could feel the paddle reach every tender spot. After a while, I started getting used to the sensation. She seemed to sense that and turned up the volume. I wasn’t used to that. I just wanted her to stop. She wouldn’t. I was miserable. I wanted to get away. Of course, that wasn’t an option. I was desperate for her to stop. I didn’t beg her to stop. That didn’t occur to me until just now, the next day. Did I mention it really hurts to sit down today?
I’m coming to realize that our domestic discipline is multi-layered. It starts with the erotic thrill of spanking. I get aroused when I think about being spanked. It was this sexual feeling that was behind me asking Mrs. Lion to be my disciplining wife. Since this is about punishing me when needed, my erotic enjoyment is a hurdle for her to overcome. Fortunately, that’s easy for her, not for me.
To make spanking me a true punishment, it has to go well past the point I eroticize. That means it has to truly hurt and keep hurting. It’s taken Mrs. Lion a long time to being able to really hurt me. She seems to have worked that out. This isn’t easy for her. The only offense she regularly punishes is my failure to set up the coffee pot. It’s hardly a serious offense. Yet, punishment has to be meaningful when I commit it.
We’ve discussed my reaction to being spanked. Obviously, other than calling our safeword, I don’t have any control over how long or hard she spanks me. My usual reaction is yelps and screams. We’ve discussed begging. At least one knowledgeable disciplinary spanker suggests that begging the spanker to stop is an important part of a spanking. Initially, it seemed a little silly to me. It’s never occurred to me to beg Mrs. Lion to stop, even when she is really hurting me.
I’ve told her to stop, demanded that she stop because I’ve had enough. She ignores me when I do. I think that those demands are a sort of growl, a statement that I’m in control and she has to stop because I say so. That’s not the sort of behavior a properly chastened male should display. Demanding that Mrs. Lion stop spanking is a sure sign that I’m not properly submissive. Perhaps when I tell her to stop, it’s the right time for her to say, “Are you ordering me to stop?” followed by some extra hard swats. I obviously need to be reminded of my place.
I don’t even think of begging her to stop. I guess I need to be reminded. One condition in the process of ending my spanking was to be sufficient begging. The begging doesn’t guarantee that Mrs. Lion will stop when I do it. I’m sure she won’t. However, it is a signal that my attitude has shifted, and I am submissive and willing to beg. We’ve established that my initial motivation to expose my bare bottom to her paddle is, to some degree, the sexual aspect of being spanked. Begging for relief is pure submission.
There’s no question that no matter how long or hard Mrs. Lion beats me, I won’t think of begging. Even though I’ve written about begging, it never crossed my mind during the spanking. I’ll need to be reminded and coached. Once prompted to beg, Mrs. Lion can comment on my “sincerity.” Since it is unlikely I will cry during a spanking, the next best form of submission is abject begging. The act of surrendering to abject begging and then realizing that it doesn’t stop the pain is very effective. Once I learn that I have to surrender this way to qualify for Mrs. Lion, considering ending the spanking is powerful stuff. It’s so powerful that I’ve avoided mentioning it up until now. Now the cat is out of the bag.