The Compleat Spanker

measure lion's ass
We use my butt to show the relative size of spanking devices. Here is a measure of this standard.
(Click image to view larger)

Recently, Mrs. Lion has been using a heavy, wooden spoon to spank me. She said that the reason she uses it is because all the other paddles are in the basement dungeon. We moved our toys there when we had a weekend visit from a vanilla friend. Mrs. Lion told me that she liked using the spoon. She’s decided that spankings are most effective when she concentrates on a small area of each cheek. The spoon is a perfect size for that.

tenderizer on lion's butt
The tenderizer. It’s got a much larger business end.
(Click image to view larger)

We recently purchased a new, larger and heavier Tenderizer paddle from Sporkwood (left). This craftsman makes the best paddles I have ever seen. The prices are great too. Click the link to see the specific paddle we ordered. Mrs. Lion is very fond of her new tenderizer. I thought it would be fun to get her a spanking spoon from the same craftsman. This spoon-shaped paddle is made from the same heavy chechen wood as our tenderizer.

People use a wide variety of implements for spanking. Many improvise with everything from hair brushes to barbecue tools. Some guys want to be beaten with specific items that they fixated on  I certainly understand that. I wasn’t spanked as a child, so I have ho history to establish a fetish for a specific tool.

spahing spoon on lion's butt
This is our new spanking spoon shown on our size indicator (my butt). It’s made from very dense Chechen wood. This is the meanest paddle we own.
(Click image to view larger)

I think that using tools specifically designed for spanking is safer and provide better results. Let me qualify that a bit. Most spanking tools on the market, particularly those sold in “adult” stores or online versions of them, like Adam and Eve, stock low-quality, poorly-made toys. However, there are a few people who make and sell great spanking tools.

Hanson paddles made the best spanking devices for many years. John Hanson retired and sold his business to Leatherwerks. They still offer most of his original designs. We have some of his originals. Hanson’s ferule was Mrs. Lion’s meanest paddle until now. The ferule has a 3-inch diameter spanking face. It’s 3/8-inch thick.

As you can see from our size comparison photos, the new spanking spoon has a similarly-sized business end. It also has a long handle. Both are made from dense, hardwoods. The critical difference is that the spanking spoon is made of thicker wood.  This gives it added force.

spanking spoon
The spanking spoon has a nice, long handle to give added leverage to the spanker.
(Click image to view larger)

Einstein’s theory of spanking
Remember Einstein’s most famous formula E=MC2? This is actually a version of Newton’s law: Force = mass * acceleration. This formula explains why some implements spank better than others. According to this formula, the force of the paddle hitting my butt is governed by two things: how much power Mrs. Lion puts into the swat and how much mass the paddle has. Essentially, a light paddle (lower mass) will have less force than one that is heavier. Acceleration is the the speed of the paddle face when it makes contact. If you’ve been on a merry-go-round, you know that the horses toward the edge move faster than then ones toward the middle. The same is true of a paddle. A long handle makes the face travel faster than a shorter one.

There’s one more factor: impact area. The force generated by the mass and acceleration is distributed across the hitting face. The larger the face, the lower the force per square inch. See where this is going? A small face on a long handle will hurt more given the same power in the swat. Similarly, a heavier paddle of the same size and shape will deliver more force than a lighter one.

If we have a heavy, long-handled, small-face paddle, we have a very effective spanking tool. The spanking spoon qualifies. Mrs. Lion has learned that if she uses this paddle on a small area of my bottom, instead of spreading her efforts around, she will get the biggest bang for her swat.

Mrs. Lion’s go-to punishment for me is spanking. These spankings are no-nonsense assaults on my bare bottom. She wants me to feel her displeasure. Mrs. Lion has no interest in providing me with an erotic fantasy experience. She wants me to have a long, painful opportunity to reflect on my sin. She can do this with many of our paddles. However, she’s observed that using a small-faced paddle, like the wooden spoon, gives her the results she likes.

For my part, I want to escape the onslaught. So far, I haven’t been able to hold still long enough to let her finish without interruption. She doesn’t want to tie me down. I’m not clear why, but she told me she wants me to learn to hold still. Obviously, I need more practice.

red bottom
The red badge of punishment. The red doesn’t last more than a couple of hours at best. Daily spankings for three days will extend the red another way.

Another aspect of spanking is how long the pain remains. Every bottom is different. In my case, the effects tend to dissipate quickly. Very rarely have I felt the fruits of Mrs. Lion’s labors the next day. However, if she uses a heavier paddle like the spanking spoon, she may be able to give me some well-placed bruises. I will feel them for at least a day.  It turns out that the pointy side of the tenderizer will produce tiny bruises where each point hits me. If she swings hard enough, she will draw a little blood.  A tenderizing treatment at the end of a spanking will probably make it painful for me to sit the next day.

Apparently, other spankers experience the frustration of their men having no lasting effects from punishment.  I understand why they feel this way. It isn’t so much that they want to be cruel. It’s more that it takes time for a disciplined male to fully understand the seriousness of his sins. Some women achieve this benefit by making a punishment more than a single spanking. One, repeats the spanking every day for three days. She says that is long enough to make the impression he needs.

Mrs. Lion and I haven’t discussed this concept. I’m not fond of it at all. But I understand the point. It would be much harder to “forget” a punishment if I have to look forward to it every day for a series of days. It also could provide a way for Mrs. Lion to make a punishment more severe for different offenses. For example, spilling food could earn one spanking. Interrupting could earn me three, etc. I think this is a good idea because it means that the severity of a single spanking is the same regardless of offense. This will help me learn to hold still and  Mrs. Lion to build the intensity of my corrections.

I know, here I go again with more ideas. I read about this one and I have to admit it makes sense. Of course, it’s all up to Mrs. Lion.



Listen to this post.


  1. We have a paddle I made Mi Amor that is 6″ long x 4″ wide at strike end with a 8″ handle. It has 16 1/4″ holes in it. When it is is weilded near end of a punishment session it will cause some blood spotting. And it hurts like all get out. She loves it!…. In fact we missed yesterday’s session but I was promised it will happen today .

  2. For longer-lasting results, perhaps you might want an implement that’s more “thuddy” – probably much more. This is the sensation my wife likes the best (she hates pure sting or slap, such as a kitchen spatula, or many lighter paddles, yield).

    In my experience, most well-designed paddles fall somewhere in the middle between sting and thud, but having too much sting can limit how much the bottom can take. It’s the thud that produces long-lasting bruising, and given sufficient time between strokes (10 seconds or so), most bottoms can process much heavier strokes if the instant flash of sting isn’t too prevalent.

    Two of our favorite toys are a tire thumper we picked up at a truck stop (which looks like a short baseball bat) and a device I made a few years ago. On a job site, I found a few discarded scraps of 4/0 insulated wire; the copper core of this is about half an inch in diameter, and with a vacuum cap on the end for “safety”, this 18-inch long implement is absolutely pure thud. (A friend of ours, Frugal Domme, liked the design so much that she now sells it in her store under the name Fairy Duster – my wife’s past scene name was “Bad Attitude Fairy”.)

    Not so much any more, but my wife used to have a very resistant leather-butt, and it was quite difficult to mark her in any way that would last more than the evening. These toys, especially the Fairy Duster, can give her bruises that she can see, and more importantly feel, for many days afterwards.

    You can get some of this same effect by using one of your existing paddles on edge, so that the mass is concentrated over a much smaller area, and the slapping feel is reduced.

    With any of these implements or techniques, it’s important to be *very careful* to strike only on the fleshy gluteal muscles – in particular, take great care to avoid the coccyx (tail bone) at the base of the spine, as this relatively small bone is easy and very painful to break, and like a broken rib there’s no practical way to splint it for healing.

    1. Author

      Good points. I’ve been teaching impact ply for over 20 years. We have massively thudding paddles. I’m known for rapid healing. I like the fairy duster concept. It would be fun to try. It pretty sure that the spanking spoon will bruise with enough force. I suggested that Mrs. Lion do some super hard spaced out swats. Maybe she’ll try. As far as sting goes, these are punishment spankings and sting makes me very unhappy. That’s the idea.

Comments are closed.