Apparently Lion likes it when I prove him right. I’m still not quite clear how I did it, but he says I did. First of all, I take exception to his statement that I never do more than one thing with him per day. How does he think he’s gotten punished and played with on the same day? Isn’t that doing multiple things? Aside from that, he says that realizing he annoyed me enough to punish him is the thing that proves him right.
Now, let’s just say I can put up with a lot of stuff. I’ve had kids and a previous idiot husband. Maybe Lion’s annoying me is something that has to rise to a certain level before I snap. Little bumps in the road are par for the course, but when I hit that pothole look out. One thing I especially hate is when he calls me out when I’m doing something nice. For example, I didn’t put the prickly jock strap on him because I didn’t want to interrupt him while he was writing. Wouldn’t it be stupid of me to interrupt him if I hate to be interrupted?
The problem is that once I’m annoyed, I’m annoyed at everything. It takes a bit for me to calm down. Anything that happens within that time frame that doesn’t go according to plan makes me more annoyed. Lion likes to say a spanking clears the slate. If I spanked him while I was annoyed, I don’t think it would clear the slate. Not only that, but I think I would hit him harder and care less about his yelps. That’s why I don’t want to hit him in the heat of the moment. Aside from swatting them on the diapered butt for doing something wrong, I don’t remember ever hitting my kids. But one time they had me so annoyed I told them I felt like I was going to start hitting them and if I started I wasn’t sure I could stop so they should give me some space. I don’t think it would have risen to the level of child abuse but that’s what I felt like at the time. And when Lion annoys me, it’s just best that I cool off before I punish him.
I guess, since I was proving Lion right anyway, I decided to use more than one paddle to whomp him. I chose the bloodwood paddle with the rectangular head because it has stair tread on one side. I chose a thicker spoon-shaped paddle. And I chose a rubber paddle with a split head. I know the rubber paddles hurt a lot. The spoon-shaped packs a hefty punch. And the bloodwood with stair tread hurts on an already sore butt. Another thing we tested out was a spanking pillow. It’s wedge shaped and holds his butt up a bit. It actually worked pretty well. Normally, Lion gets a fold in the skin of his left cheek. I don’t know why. The problem is that he winds up with a bright white stripe when the rest of his cheek is red. The spanking pillow eliminated that fold.
By the time I got done, Lion had a few deep purple spots. I thought he might wind up with bruises but the markings later on looked normal. Of course, a deep bruise might not actually show on the outside. But Lion is notoriously difficult to bruise so I doubt he feels anything today. I don’t remember if I’ve ever punished him two days in a row, but the day is young. He’s already talking about how much of a mess the house is. Read that as: Mrs. Lion, you’re not doing your job around here. Yup. He might just get punished two days in a row.
[Lion replies — I don’t have a sore spot today. Maybe it would be better for both of us if Mrs. Lion disregards my yelps. She sent a powerful message yesterday, don’t get me wrong. For the record, I was punished two days in a row once or twice]