Learning The Hard Way

This has become a time of major change. For several years we have been working toward perfecting our disciplinary relationship. That may seem odd, but the fact is it’s taken a long time for punishments to rise to the level that they become real deterrents. I imagine that most couples in a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) go through a similar learning curve. Mrs. Lion had no experience at all in administering discipline to her partner.

Slowly but surely she has turned up the volume on my spankings. On Monday night she spanked me hard enough for me to feel it for the next two days. On Tuesday, when I got the second of four spankings I am owed, she did that again. I wrote that I thought she could increase her severity even further to make a real impression on me. On Wednesday night she did exactly that.

Wednesday’s spanking was quite different. Mrs. Lion has long understood how to build up intensity so that I’m not overwhelmed when she begins. It’s not that she’s particularly gentle with me, but she helps my body get a chance to get acclimatized to the beating. After that first volley of more gentle swats, she dials up intensity. At that point I am yelping loudly. In the past, this was the stage that concluded my spanking. It hurt a lot and did make a point. I felt that something was missing.

That sounds crazy, I know. But since Mrs. Lion and I have been building this disciplinary relationship in isolation, she’s needed my feedback. My reaction to those spankings was sorrow that I earned them, but no real fear of another one. I had no residual effects an hour after she finished.

From my reading (Julie’s blog), after I passed the next stage, which is more numbness to the spanking, much harder swats can be administered and it’s these that provide the lasting message. On Wednesday night for the first time, Mrs. Lion administered those extra-hard swats at the end of her spanking after I was fairly numb. They had the desired effect. It hurts to sit down, even lie down on the bed on my back. That’s the sign, at least to me, that I’ve been truly spanked. It also makes me dread the Thursday night spanking I am due.

The informal goal Mrs. Lion and I set for punishment was that I would feel the results of a spanking for a day or two after I received it. Also, I would truly hate being spanked as punishment. This is important for us because I’ve always liked the idea of being spanked, and I’ve received many play spankings. Punishment spanking had to be something I wouldn’t like. I don’t like my punishment spankings now.

I’ve had the chance to compare notes with another spanked man and he confirms that we are on the right track with punishment spankings. He suggested that Mrs. Lion continue to increase severity. This isn’t because Mrs. Lion needs to make things worse for me. It’s because it’s rather difficult to send a serious, disciplinary message to a grown man. I’m glad we are working on this. It’s just in time. Mrs. Lion has resolved to make spankable offenses out of things I do that annoy her.

The other significant change is the reinstatement of regular sex for Mrs. Lion. About a week ago she indicated a little interest in receiving oral sex. I pounced on that and gave her a nice orgasm. She reported that she enjoyed it. That doesn’t mean her libido has returned necessarily. It means that she can enjoy sex.

The problem that we’ve had for as long as we’ve been together is that I’m absolutely terrible at initiating sex. Mrs. Lion has learned to initiate sex for me as part of her orgasm control associated with my enforced male chastity. She’s never wanted me to reciprocate. We finally decided that I would initiate sex three times a week (Monday, Thursday, Saturday). How I do it is something we have to work on. I will be punished if I don’t attempt to initiate sex on those days. The exception is if Mrs. Lion is not interested on any given day. She’s agreed to be open as much as she can. Yesterday, she was feeling a little sore and gave me a pass on initiating. I will try again on Saturday.

If this seems artificial, I suppose it is. But for whatever reason, I’ve always had a terrible problem initiating sex. Ironically, I’ve never had a time in my life when I didn’t have a lot of sex. I can’t explain that. I know that one way or another, I’m going to provide Mrs. Lion with lots of fun sex. I think our new plan will do the trick. After all, my butt’s on the line.