It’s another one of my harebrained ideas. I reasoned that if Mrs. Lion is having difficulty punishing me for doing things that upset her, and I am having difficulty initiating sex, then we have a perfect opportunity to use our disciplinary relationship to help us. Simply put, we would agree on a number of days a week I would attempt to initiate sex with Mrs. Lion. We should probably pick specific days for this; more about that later. On those days, I would attempt to initiate sex with Mrs. Lion. If she is receptive, I go on to provide her with an orgasm of her choice. I am not guaranteed one for myself. If I failed to attempt to initiate sex, it’s a spankable offense.
That’s the outline of my proposal. I realize that this isn’t very romantic. I don’t think it can be in the beginning. I’ve had a lifelong problem taking the sexual lead. Even in my most dominant days, I’ve just haven’t been able to bring myself to initiate sex. Ironically, I’ve always had a lot of sex. Either out of frustration or their actual natures, women I’ve been involved with has had no problem taking the lead in getting me started. It’s that first move that I have trouble with. Once things get started, I don’t have any trouble at all.
Mrs. Lion isn’t aggressive. As we’ve learned, she would rather give up sex then take the lead. Ironically, she has no trouble initiating sexual activities that are just for me. This is part of a larger pattern. It’s very difficult for her to mention anything that bothers her. She is much more likely to just stay quiet. If something I do is particularly bothersome, she ignores me. I have to probe to find out what’s wrong. One of the main goals of our disciplinary relationship is for Mrs. Lion to express her displeasure with her paddle, rather than withdrawing. As a first step, she resolved to growl or snarl rather than withdraw. Then, she was going to accompany her growl with a concrete and painful punishment for me.
We resolve to do this at least a year ago. We repeated the resolution regularly since then. Mrs. Lion hasn’t been able to make that change. That’s when I got the bright idea to try to fix two important problems. It came to me after I provided Mrs. Lion with an orgasm via oral sex. She enjoyed it and expressed interest in having more. So it isn’t that she doesn’t like sex; she doesn’t want to initiate sex for herself. This is something we’ve known about for a long time and never managed to fix.
In fact, I suggested enforced male chastity as a way of surrendering my role as initiator. After all, I reasoned, if Mrs. Lion has the key that unlocks my penis, she would then also be able to decide when and if we had sex. It didn’t work out that way. Yes, she controlled sex: sex for me. She said she had no interest in sex for herself. Even sex for me required a conscious plan. Mrs. Lion promised to provide me with sexual stimulation at least once every other day. For most of the last six years she’s done exactly that. However, in the last couple of months I’ve only gotten sexual attention when she planned to give me an orgasm.
Okay, my original plan to lock up my penis as a way of getting Mrs. Lion to initiate sex was a complete bust. My enforced male chastity turned out to be something we both like and intend to keep on doing forever. The original problem still remains unsolved. Maybe the solution is at hand.
I’m suggesting that Mrs. Lion make a rule that I have to initiate, or at least attempt to initiate sex that results in her having an orgasm at least three times a week. Perhaps we should add initiating sex to activities on our designated punishment days (Monday, Thursday, and Saturday). If on any one of these days she isn’t in the mood for sex, she can tell me and that’s that. If I fail to make a serious effort at initiating sex for her, I’m punished.
In the beginning, I’m sure that my efforts will be a little clumsy. I think it might come down to me asking her she would like me to get close. If she says yes, I can begin trying to arouse her. There are two specific sexual activities that work very well for her and don’t necessarily involve giving me an orgasm. The first is obvious: giving her oral sex. She loves it and I love doing it. The second is what we call “Lion Riding”. This is when she mounts me in the cowgirl position. This position is the best one for giving her an orgasm during intercourse. It also is very unlikely to stimulate me enough to ejaculate. When she wants me to come inside her, she mounts me in reverse cowgirl. In this position she faces my feet and my penis is extremely well stimulated and I’m guaranteed to have an orgasm quite easily.
Since this is not about my orgasms, I would expect that I will be doing oral most of the time. Hopefully, we can get back to the old pattern where I get ridden for a while and then Mrs. Lion moves over my face for oral attention. I am okay with anything she would like. I’m hoping that she will let me know what she wants on any given evening.
In the beginning, I imagine we will discuss the evening’s entertainment in emails during the day. At least I hope that will be what we do. It will be difficult for me to begin with spontaneous initiation. I think after a while, at her discretion, she could have me spontaneously initiate and refuse to plan in advance.
This is all independent of my sexual stimulation. I want to be sure she knows that her sex nights don’t have to include sexual activities for me. In fact, it may be a good idea to give me sexual fun on nights that aren’t for her. Again, this is a bit artificial. However, I think it’s important that she and I both understand that reciprocation is not part of this process. In fact, in the near future I expect to be back in a chastity device which should stay on unless Mrs. Lion desires to ride me. Writing me absolutely doesn’t imply I get an orgasm. It’s for her. If, on my night, she wants to give me an orgasm by penetration, she can mount me reverse cowgirl to allow me to come inside her.
The key to all this is that we are doing essentially the same thing we did when we began our female led relationship. Mrs. Lion made rules that were very easy to observe and had no serious emotional consequences. The rule she selected were likely to be broken quite frequently. That meant that we both got experience with punishing me. These rules remain in effect and I still break them now and then. They are: I must wait for her to begin eating before I can start and I’m not allowed to spill food on my shirt. Some of the meals we eat make it very difficult for me not to break the second rule. A third rule was added that I had to remind Mrs. Lion when it was punishment day. Most recently, I forgot to remind her on Saturday that it was punishment day. I’m now halfway through four days of spanking. I can promise you I won’t forget to remind her anytime soon.
Anyway, I’m suggesting that a way of getting Mrs. Lion into the framework of observing and punishing things that actually bother her, is to make missing sexual initiation day a spankable offense. Like the punishment day reminding rule, she can set a deadline for initiation. I have to remind her it’s punishment day before 8:30 PM on that date. She can set a similar deadline for sexual initiation.
I absolutely understand that this is a very artificial concept. However, we’ve proven that it’s effective for us to do things like this. My hope is that Jan getting Mrs. Lion back into the habit of having regular orgasms, it also gets her into the habit of observing and punishing things I do that bother her. The one thing that prevents our disciplinary relationship from becoming a full domestic discipline marriage is that I’m punished for relatively trivial things. Most couples that practice domestic discipline have more serious offenses to handle.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t continue with the current rules. I think that we will have those forever. What I am saying is that we now start adding more meaningful offenses to the list of reasons I get spanked. I’m suggesting that the first be forgetting to initiate sex.
You may notice that I didn’t suggest that Mrs. Lion attach my sexual activities to my requirement to initiate sex for her. She’s made it very clear that my program of enforced chastity and orgasm control remain independent of anything else we do inside our disciplinary relationship. Even if I forget or fail to initiate, I expect she will still edge me or give me orgasms as she wishes.
I’m not even sure that we will ever integrate my sexual pleasure with hers. I don’t think it makes a lot of sense to do that. I should focus on giving her pleasure when I initiate sex. Sexual pleasure for me is beside the point. Similarly, when it’s my time for sexual stimulation, Mrs. Lion’s focus will be on me, not her. I think this will work very well for us, at least for the near future.