My Bottom Line

spanked cartoon
While Mrs. Lion uses a paddle, this is how I am spanked.

Wednesday night Mrs. Lion had a wonderful surprise for me. She gave me an oral orgasm. She did this after we went shopping and had dinner at a restaurant. I figured she would be worn out but I was delightfully surprised.

We haven’t actively discussed it, but I believe we’ve both resigned ourselves to the reality that moving in will take quite a while. With this in mind, we’re going to try to keep working at unpacking but also make room for the things we like to do.
Mrs. Lion is going to try to make room in our multi-purpose area (pantry/play room) for the waxing table so she can get rid of the undergrowth. I’ll appreciate that greatly.

One of the side effects of consistent hair removal is that if you stop, what grows back is very random and looks terrible. I have a little mustache over my penis of a mixture of brown and gray, very-fine hairs. Same thing under my arms.

My left arm is improving slowly. I can now raise it to above my shoulder with only moderate pain. I’m hoping that my injury isn’t a torn ligament, but just a bruised one. Enough with the health report!

Times like this, where there is a combination of hardship and overwhelming work to do, offers a lot of insight into the quality of a relationship as well as the “extras” the couple has elected to do. Stress will make people move apart or, if they’re lucky, get closer to one another. In our case, we remain completely in love and devoted to making each other happy.

Despite all the background noise in our lives, we remain committed to our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). Enforced male chastity remains fully active as well. At this point, I don’t think I have any idea how to function sexually without Mrs. Lion calling the shots.

Apparently, I’ve stayed out of trouble. Mrs. Lion has located some of her paddle collection. So far, since we moved in, I’ve only received one spanking. That one was for offenses committed before we moved.

I’m not sure if the current spanking-free situation is due to me being a good lion or because Mrs. Lion is too tired to observe my behavior that closely. I know she always checks to be sure that I don’t eat first for spill food on my shirt. I’m not sure if she is paying much attention to whether I interrupt or do other things that might annoy her.

A while ago I exchanged emails with a man who is also in a domestic discipline relationship. He observes that Mrs. Lion and I got into ours very differently than he and his wife.

“Where my experience deviates from the advice you gave is in the conversion from erotic spanking to discipline. My wife and I had played around a bit with erotic spanking, but combined with what I call “funishment.” Basically, she was giving me play spankings but the bad behavior was real. She started feeling that by giving me erotic spankings when my behavior sucked, she was essentially rewarding me. So, she stopped entirely. It was several months later I found the DWC website [Lion — This is the address of that site], was instantly obsessed with it, and showed it to her. From the beginning, I emphasized the disciplinary aspect because I knew she was concerned about spanking as a reward. So, I emphasized the “reality” and severity of the DWC spankings. So, in that respect my experience was almost the opposite of the process you advise of easing the woman into the disciplinary aspects. Also, you said that your motivation was tied to the disciplinary spankings being hot. While I did get a very big sexual reaction to the DWC, my obsession was more with the accountability and vulnerability. The sexual charge was almost a side-effect and not the main cause for the obsession. “

The author of this email has a wonderful website dedicated to men who are spanked for discipline, not BDSM. I’ve learned a lot reading it. It’s called The Disciplinary Couples Club. Dan, who sent the email above, introduces new topics each week and readers provide their views via comments.

I agree with his analysis. It’s true that Mrs. Lion and I essentially eased our way into disciplinary spanking. In his case, there were some serious behavioral issues that he thought would be helped using disciplinary spanking. What’s interesting to me is that we both ended up in the same place.

Like him, I’m most attracted to the control aspect of our FLRD. While spanking was something that always turned me on, disciplinary spanking most certainly doesn’t. The Disciplinary Wives Club is very hot reading. I’ve never been totally convinced that Aunt Kay was real. However, I was massively excited to read that site and it did inspire me to ask Mrs. Lion to become my disciplinary wife.

I’ve mentioned the site to her several times. She really doesn’t seem interested in reading about being a disciplinary wife. Her knowledge has come from experience. All of her experience has been with me. I’ve long advocated that she get data elsewhere as well. She hasn’t and has done just fine on her own.

Still, I learn a lot from what I find on the web. Dan’s website has provided a great deal of insight for me. His readers frequently offer excellent feedback that has been extremely helpful to me.

I believe that his background, and his wife’s as well, included disciplinary spanking when they were children. The concept of physical punishment was well ingrained in both of them. That made it much easier to introduce disciplinary spanking. I don’t believe that we would have ever adopted it without the long learning curve Mrs. Lion and I have followed.

I thought about the differences between people who grew up with spanking and those like us who were never physically punished. There is one very significant thing that we have in common with people who were punished as children: We never seriously considered that one spouse could actually punish the other.

From Dan’s email it’s clear that his wife could only respond passively to things he did that bothered her greatly. He had to introduce the idea that she could punish him. This is the same hurdle that confronted us. Fantasies notwithstanding, the only way a disciplinary relationship can start is if the disciplined spouse introduces it and gives consent for his wife to punish him.

This is a profound change in the way most people consider marriage. We are taught that marriage is a union of equals. I fully agree that it is. However, I also think that we profit greatly by me giving power over my behavior to Mrs. Lion. Because we started as equals, I have to surrender my equality.

It took a long time to convince Mrs. Lion that I’m serious about this. It was completely alien to her when I introduced it. I think she’s believed that I wanted to be punished because it sexually exciting to me. It’s taken years to understand that my need runs much deeper than that and that I want real punishment for real offenses.

I’m pretty sure that it was easier for Dan. His wife could look back at her childhood and understand how punishment can work in a loving environment. Like us, he did begin with some “funishment”, which you could loosely equate with me spilling food on my clothes.

However, he had real issues that could be addressed by spanking him. His wife clearly wanted a way to stop him from offending. Like Mrs. Lion, she had experience spanking him in a recreational setting. So the idea wasn’t alien to her. Apparently, she got substantial help from reading The Disciplinary Wives Club.

I really enjoy hearing from Dan. Like me, he’s publicly discussed his disciplinary relationship. I find a lot of areas of commonality between us.

Are you in a disciplinary relationship? Would you like to share how you got started? I’d like to know. Why not add a comment or drop me a line in Contact Us.