August 2019 (Page 5)

There hasn’t been much sexual activity around here. I’m taking a powerful drug that makes me sleepy and for all I know less interested in sex. Mrs. Lion is tired because she’s not sleeping well. We’re both worried about my health and our upcoming move. It’s not for lack of trying. Mrs. Lion snuggled and played with me on Monday night. I got pretty excited. I just couldn’t get close to the edge it all. I’m not complaining. It felt great.

I’m also not eating very much. That’s not the healthiest thing, but I welcome the weight loss. It’s hard to find silver linings at times like this. But there is one that absolutely undeniable: Mrs. Lion and I have each other. That’s the treasure of more value than anything else we can think of. Meanwhile, it’s a little tough around here. I’m usually a very positive person. All the stuff is making it very hard for me to believe things are going to get better.

The glaucoma specialist I’ve been seeing operated on my left eye almost 4 months ago. He put in a drainage tube which controls the pressure and shortly after the surgery, something started bleeding inside the eye. He sure it isn’t his fault. Since he’s the only one who was mucking around there, I can’t imagine who he wants to blame. In any case, the blood managed to find its way to the back of my eye and get into the jelly stuff that fills it. It takes a very long time to get eliminated from the sticky jelly. I still can’t see out of my left eye.

Meanwhile, the pressure in my right eye has gone up and the standard eyedrops don’t seem to be keeping it under control. Surgery is required there. The genius surgeon wants me to get a different kind of operation in the right eye. It’s scheduled for Thursday. One of the known common complications is limited bleeding as part of this process. As I have learned, bleeding equals no vision. In the case of this new operation the blood will dissipate within a week or so. That means I could be totally blind for a week or more if I go through with this plan.

To keep the pressure in my right eye down, I’m taking an oral drug with lots of side effects. The main one for me seems to be that it makes me sleepy. The original glaucoma doctor considers this drug unsuitable for any length of time. Apparently he has no trouble with me being blind for any length of time.

An alternative is to operate on the left eye and clear out the jelly so that all that nasty blood is gone and I can see through my left eye. Then, once that vision is clear, operate on the right eye. That would mean I would be on the pressure-lowering oral drug for several more weeks. The surgeon who will be performing the right eye surgery, has no problem with this.

It seems to me that some vision is better than no vision. Since I can’t get a chance to talk with my original specialist, it looks like I’ll have to make the decision for myself. Clearly, there is no clear path to follow. When all this glaucoma stuff started, I decided that I didn’t want to live as a blind lion. I didn’t specify short-term blindness. But I get pretty close to panic imagining losing my sight even for a short time. I’m very close to firing my original glaucoma doctor. That may be the best decision in any case. Welcome to my world.

This certainly counts as one of those times when the going is rough. I’m scheduled for two surgeries to try to save my vision. We are in the process of moving to a different house. The good news is that in the new house I can be picked up door-to-door by a special disabled bus. This will save Mrs. Lion leaving work to chauffeur me to various appointments. I haven’t been able to get any physical therapy because it would require her to miss even more time at the office. My employer is being terrific about this and allows me to work around the medical issues.

For the time being, the spilling food rule has been suspended. I’m grateful for that. I can’t see well enough to know where I’m putting food right now. Every meal is an adventure. In one way I’m a little sorry the rule isn’t in force. I wouldn’t be able to eat anymore neatly if it were, but might be more of an adventure if my bottom got spanked after inevitable misses. Disabilities or no disabilities, I like adventure.

I’m also lucky because our current landlord isn’t going to rigorously push us out the door at the end of the lease. Of course, we are doing our best to meet the schedule, but they know with my issues we could easily be late. We’ve been here 13 years and that builds up a lot of capital.

A few years ago we decided we would then out our toy collection. Seattle has something called The Center for Sex Positive Culture. It’s an organization that sponsors parties and workshops in all sorts of BDSM and other naughty activity. Mrs. Lion and I figured they could auction off the toys, they were very expensive custom toys, and use the proceeds to help them in their cause. When we brought them to their headquarters they did say thank you. That was the last we heard from. We expected some sort of communication about the value of our donation. Like many BDSM associations, good manners don’t seem to be something that is valued. We have surplus toys now. We aren’t going to give them away. We’ll either sell them or send them to landfill. Frankly, landfill is more grateful than The Center.

All these health problems bring home the fact that we are done with organized BDSM. Our activities will be private. Most will be punishment directed in forcing our FLRD. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion will find opportunities to just play. I’m good either way.

No one has ever been kinder to me than my lioness. She is sacrificing her time and energy and her paycheck to be sure that I am cared for. It’s not easy taking me from doctors appointments to other doctors appointments. She waits with me for hours until we get seem. She’ll be in the waiting room on Thursday while I get my glaucoma operation. She’ll be with me every second that I’m blind. She warned me that I better follow her instructions or I will be hurt. I get it. She’ll have to tell me where it’s safe to put my paws.

When I got home from the hospital after that terrible spinal surgery, I was virtually helpless. I needed help sitting up’s, standing, and doing absolutely everything else. Mrs. Lion took care of me. I hate putting her in a similar position again. This time I can do things for myself if I can find the things. I know will work it out. Nobody wants a clumsy, blind line bumping into everything. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be with Mrs. Lion. I’m hers and she’s mine. On a less romantic note, I wonder how she’ll feel about spanking the blind old lion. Just fine, I imagine. Without a doubt, I’ll find out.

I’ve also disproven that old wives tale that your goal blind if you masturbate. I’m going blind and I don’t masturbate. So there!