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In: diapers, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

How ironic is it that Lion is getting punished for forgetting it was punishment day? All day I waited for him to tell me. I even hinted at one point that I hoped he’d make it through the day without a punishable offense. By rights I should have spanked him again. Three days in a row would have really sent a message. But I figured I’d give him a break. Diapers it is.

The only guidelines I gave him initially was that he wear diapers for twenty-four hours. I few minutes later he asked if he could change them. Duh! Of course. I don’t want him wearing the same stinky diaper for twenty-four hours. And he doesn’t have to poop in them. That would be way too messy. However, Lion may have found a loophole. I was not clear as to when he can change the diaper. He thinks he can change it as soon as he’s wet. That’s no fun! What good is it if he’s always in a dry diaper?

Nope. A dry diaper will not do. So I’m changing the parameters a bit. I don’t think I’ll be as mean as I’ve been in the past. He doesn’t always have to have a wet diaper. For this punishment, he has to sit in a wet diaper for at least an hour before he can change it. Assuming he doesn’t have to pee again right away, he’ll be in a dry diaper for a good portion of the time.

Oh, and an unintended consequence of the punishment is that I don’t want to play with a stinky weenie so he won’t get any action until he’s out of the diaper and showered on Saturday afternoon/evening. Fair warning, Lion. We’ll snuggle, but no weenie rubs. On the plus side, for Lion at least, he won’t get spanked either. But he still needs to be careful. Any infractions during the diaper period will result in increased diaper time or increased wet diaper time. He won’t get away with anything.

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In: Lion's Journal, Punishment

I’ve been studying how other bloggers write about punishment. Every one that I believe is real, always have two phases, at least, to a punishment. If you consider the spanking as the main course, then the followup is desert.

This idea makes very good sense. Since a spanking that is going to last more than a few swats, requires a warm up, there is a strong resemblance to a “play” (BDSM) spanking. For me, the desert would provide unmistakable evidence that I am being punished.

Without exception, domestic discipline punishments, including spanking, are all childhood-based punishment. Spanking, corner standing, writing assignments, mouth washing, privilege loss, and early bedtime are all classic punishments for children.

I think there is a good reason why adults are punished as children: it fits the maternal model of female authority where the male is submitting. It’s not a reach for both partners. Many wives jokingly refer to their husbands as their oldest children. I suspect that this reference has more than a grain of truth. In the case of FLR, especially with domestic discipline, the maternal role is actual.

Childish punishments resonate with men who were disciplined this way as children. Men like me who had never experienced this as kids, have to learn what the other group already knows. In my case, I have been spanked during BDSM scenes. Many were quite severe, though none reached the point that Lioness 2.0 has been giving me.

Quiz shows always have at least two parts to each game. “Family Feud,” for example has the regular play and then the “Quick Money” game. Audiences clearly prefer this format. Punishment is no different. The spanking is the main game. It provides direct stimulation that reflects the disciplining wife’s unhappiness with her husband’s behavior. Even if she isn’t angry at the time, this activity provides direct evidence of her displeasure. She was hurt by his disobedience, for example, so now he will get to feel the way he made her feel. Many women include a “scold” to underline what upset her.

The second phase, dessert if you will, serves the purpose of forcing the disciplined husband to seriously consider his misdeed. It’s the quiet phase of the punishment. Many women use “corner time” as this second phase. Her husband is made to stand with his nose tightly pressed into the corner. Often, he is required to have his hands behind his back or at his side. The average sentence for corner time seems to be fifteen to thirty minutes. The room is quiet and he is forced to feel the effects of his spanking and hopefully meditate on his sins.

Writing assignments requires him to neatly write a phrase over and over. This phrase almost always is a promise to not repeat the bad behavior; for example, “I won’t interrupt Mrs. Lion.” or “I will eat more neatly.” You get the idea. Writing that 100 or 200 times takes a while and if he is sitting on a hard chair, will intensify the memory of the spanking.

Mouth soaping is more than sticking a bar of soap in his mouth. Usually, the bar of soap is thoroughly wet with warm water and then the disciplining wife soaps her hand and then washes the inside of his mouth with the soap. It generally takes repeating adding soap to her hands so she can thoroughly coat his tongue, gums front and back, and all of his mouth. The soap should be fairly soft at this point. Then at least a third-to-a-half of the bar goes into his mouth and he has to hold it there. Many women soap first, then have him stand in the corner for 15 to 30 minutes with the bar in his mouth.

These “quiet” dessert activities clearly indicate that this isn’t play. It’s punishment. The purpose, of course, is to assure he understands that repeating the misbehavior is something to avoid at all costs. A spanking alone is effective in many cases, but if you add dessert, the lesson is strongly reinforced.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

Yesterday Lion interrupted me. Not once, not twice, but a few times in a row. I was trying to tell him something and he kept cutting me off. Finally I yelled at him. He says I pause too long between thoughts. At first I thought he was going to tell me I was wrong for doing that. Wisely, he said he’d have to learn to take that into account during our conversations.

After dinner and my shower, I told Lion it was time for his spanking. He said he still had sore spots from the night before. Oh well. It’s not my fault that I need to punish him again.

I did quick little hits and tried to avoid the bruises. I knew those weren’t really the sore spots, but they were the only evidence from the night before. I continued on with the little swats all over his butt. He was getting red and I was hitting harder as I went along. Neither of us counted, but Lion says there may well have been over 200. He called yellow a few times and I (hopefully) didn’t back off as much as the night before.

The thing I don’t really understand is where are the hard swats? If I’m peppering his butt with a million smaller swats, what happens to the big, full swing swats? Are they just gone? Can I sprinkle them throughout the punishment? Won’t that make him want to cry yellow? I understand the concept of building up, but not the concept of not having a big paddle whomping Lion within an inch of his life.

This morning, Lion said his butt was no longer sore. The soreness lasted only a few hours. And he said there is a part two for punishment that he’s looking forward to. In order for it to be memorable, he posits, he needs a secondary punishment. Corner time, soap in his mouth, something like that.

Can’t I try to get one thing right at a time? Why do I have to add in different elements at the same time? I’m hoping Lion won’t get himself in any trouble today so I can regroup and get my mind wrapped around corner time after the punishment swats are done. I did try it once, but I (thought I) was doing the swats correctly at the time. Now we’ve changed tactics. A Lioness’ work is never done.

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In: 2.0, Lion's Journal, Spanking
Here I am after my July 4th spanking. I guess I am red, black and blue. (Click image to see full-size)

Mrs. Lion reads all my posts, generally before I post them. She supplies proofreading support that I truly appreciate. Anyway, after reading my rather depressed post about what I learned on my vacation, she told me she still had interest. She agreed that play and discipline took a backseat to whatever else we were doing. She expressed no opinion about why this happened, but resolved to fix things.

So she did. That very afternoon, when we got back from our adventures, I was told to be naked with my training collar on. She said she was going to spank me. We had been discussing spanking techniques for the last few weeks. Initially, my suggestion was that a disciplinary spanking started with very hard swats and continued that way. For over a year that’s the technique Mrs. Lion has been using. She’s never been able to give me more than eight or ten swats before it is too much for me.

Julie of “Strict Julie Spanks” left a comment here that started me thinking. I wrote a post about it. Julie wrote that when she spanks her husband, he can say “Yellow” which means the swats are too hard to take. He can also say “Red” which stops everything, presumably for a true emergency. Mrs. Lion and I discussed that other spankers report giving 200-300 swats or more in a spanking. We have almost never hit ten. I suggested that, like Julie, perhaps the swats need to build up over time so that I get used to being hit.

That sounded to us like a play spanking. That’s when the intensity is controlled to allow the bottom’s endorphins to keep up with the stimulation. That didn’t sound like punishment to either of us. But then, the six or eight swats I generally get didn’t seem all that serious either. Mrs. Lion decided to try the slower buildup method. She did the other night. She slowly built in intensity. When it got to be too much for me, she backed off, way off. Then she quickly got back to the real swats. The spanking lasted well over 200 swats (no, neither of us were counting, but I’m sure we got past 200). When it was over, my butt was well bruised with white spots in other places. It burned and I could feel it all night, even when in a comfy chair.

I don’t get all that red (see image above, right), even after a spanking like that. I also “heal” remarkably fast with almost no trace of the spanking in the morning. This has always been true of me. Oh well, it gives Mrs. Lion a fresh canvas every day. Even though most of the marks faded, it still hurts to sit today. Yes, it was an effective spanking.

The big question is how we distinguish between a “play” spanking and a disciplinary one? The answer is actually very simple: I know we are playing in one case and I am being punished in the other. The disciplinary spanking takes place when and where Mrs. Lion wants. While I can ask her to back off, I can’t stop her. As she gets more experienced at this technique, like Julie, she will “sneak” past my limit and hit me with even harder swats. Over time, she will also learn how far she wants to go. I am deceptive in that my butt looks as though I have been brutally beaten, but turns out to be mark-free the next morning. That’s not to say it doesn’t hurt to sit.

I’m writing this in the late afternoon. We drove home today from our vacation trip. I interrupted Mrs. Lion more than once. That means once she has recovered from driving I can look forward to the second of this new sort of spanking. I am very sure it will last longer and be more intense.