By:
In: Lion's Journal

I’m on my way south again for my last business trip before surgery. It will be at least two months post surgery before I can take care of myself well enough to travel alone. I’ll be back at the end of the week. It’s not a terrible trip by any means.

Yesterday, I asked Mrs. Lion whether she thought our FLR and male chastity would survive the long period of rule suspension while I recover. She said that she had been thinking about this too. She said that she didn’t plan to let me disregard her rules for long at all. She pointed out that she may put up with me interrupting me while stoned on the pain meds I will be taking in the beginning. But once I had better control, she expects me to toe the line. If I do interrupt her, for example, she will tell me in no uncertain terms.

Spanking and most other punishments aren’t going to be possible while my arm is in a sling. So stern words will have to do. While we didn’t discuss it, we both thought about other punishments that would work during my recovery. I could think of several. But I also realized that piling more misery on me, while trying to live with no use of my right arm, is probably too much.

My worry isn’t that I would go out of control because Mrs. Lion didn’t have me on a tight leash. It is that we would lapse back into our old patterns and my lioness would stop being the leader. I don’t want that. I can’t speak for her. We haven’t arrived at the point where our roles are fully assimilated into our personalities and our lifestyle. We’re getting there, but we have a way to go.

So, six months or more of less clear lines of authority could slowly revert all the work we have done. But with me in bed and clearly in pain, Mrs. Lion maintaining her authority is not a simple task. You might think that the solution is for her to be just as strict as ever. That’s reasonable in many ways, but there are a couple of problems with this idea.

First, I may not be aware that I am doing something wrong. Strong pain medication does reduce my connection with reality. I doubt I would even know what I am supposed to do when medicated. Second, I will be under continuous physical and emotional stress as I try to cope with my new disability. Wouldn’t adding punishment make things even worse? I know Mrs. Lion thinks so.

It seems to me that the only way to continue our FLR-in-training is for Mrs. Lion’s authority to be based on my desire for her approval. Showing disappointment when I forget or break a rule is about as severe a punishment as I can take. Actually, that is pretty severe. I already feel that I am putting her out way too much. To disappoint her as well is horrible. It may be too much.

Spanking is very painful; but when it is done, I’ve paid for my crime. Feeling that I disappointed Mrs. Lion will keep hurting for a long time. It’s a much harsher punishment than a beating could ever be. I think Mrs. Lion is aware of this. There’s a lot for both of us to learn when the paddle has to be left in it’s place.

By:
In: Communication, Rules

Last night, I had a silly thought. Why can’t Lion view his sling as a form of bondage? Of course that’s very silly since there’s nothing sexual about the sling that’s holding his arm in place while he heals. But, technically, it is a form of bondage. OK. Serious up.

I decided we should do our errands early so I can get the laundry done early and Lion can pack and then relax for the rest of the day. He didn’t sleep well last night. His shoulder hurts today. It seems like the perfect time to test out his cryotherapy machine. The laundry is in and he’s getting things all charged up for his trip.

Lion’s rules are suspended so I didn’t really notice if he put on his training collar before we went out. I do try to sneak a peek at his dresser to see if he remembered, or I try to connect to it with my phone. But, as I said, the rules are suspended. However, he was lagging a little behind me when I got in the truck and he said he had to circle back because he forgot something. I asked if it was the training collar. It was. He’s still trying to follow the rules. He’s afraid we’ll let everything go once he has his surgery and we’ll be back to square one.

Obviously, he’s not going to want sex for a while. He’ll be in pain and in no mood for love. Enforced chastity will just become plain, old chastity. But even though the rules are suspended, he can still try to follow them. We decided that, assuming he’s not loopy from drugs, I should point out when he breaks a rule. He won’t get punished, but at least we both know he’s trying to obey and I’m watching him. I’m not enforcing the rules, but I am still paying attention. That way it won’t be as difficult to jump back in once the rules are back in force.

In addition to that, we’ll decide when each rule comes back based on his recovery. It doesn’t make any sense for me to catch him interrupting me when he’s babbling on drugs. But, let’s say in a month, when he’s mostly off the pain meds, he’s coherent enough to understand that he’s interrupting, that rule may come back. If he’s able to eat without spilling everything all over the place, maybe in a few weeks, that rule can come back. If we’re going out and he remembers the training collar but can’t put it on by himself, he can ask me to put it on him. Then maybe that rule comes back.

There’s no magic formula to when the rules come back. It will depend on his progress and recovery. Maybe a rule comes back and has to be suspended again. That’s fine. We’ll just deal with it as it comes. The main thing is to maintain some semblance of FLR and, more importantly, communication.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Life is full of choices. Some, seemingly-trivial decisions can start an avalanche of change. Changes pile up on top of other changes until life becomes unrecognizable. Other choices are filled with dread like envelopes from the IRS. Once opened, they turn out to be innocent, nearly-irrelevant pieces of information. Most of us try to avoid change; or when that’s impossible, do things that can be easily reversed.

Retailers understand this. For example, the people who make our new bed offer a 100-day money-back guarantee. Sleep on it for 100 days. If you don’t like it, you can tell them to pick it up and you get all your money back. Sounds pretty safe. It’s not. In order to return your new bed, you need another bed to replace it. If you save your old one, then you can use it. Really? Who is going to take the old bed apart? How do you pack it and ship it back? Who’s going to help move the old one back in and set it up?

The people who made your new bed understand how unlikely it is that you can actually use that guarantee. I’ll bet that very few people actually do it. The truth is that the manufacturer is offering you a rationalization for spending a lot of money. The more something costs, the more careful people tend to be about buying it. So, if you give them the illusion that they can get their money back if they are unhappy, they are much more likely to make the purchase.

There are other choices that are no fun if it is easy to back out. Specifically, the choice to surrender sexual control isn’t particularly interesting if a quick wank in the shower cancels it. Hence the birth of the male chastity device. While the retailer wants to create the illusion that the customer is in control, male chastity is just the opposite.

Like the 100-day-money-back guarantee, the idea of enforced chastity is real, but not as attractive as it sounds. Male chastity is a choice made by the male. He decides that he wants to surrender sexual control. He asks his keyholder to take on this power. He wants to believe that once that chastity device is locked on, he no longer has the ability to change his mind. That’s what I want.

The fact is that any of us can change our minds. If our keyholder won’t unlock us, we can remove the device with some effort. But that will never happen. Enforced male chastity is consensual. Remove the consent and the game is over.

I think it’s good to be reminded of this once in a while. I’ve been under Mrs. Lion’s control for over three years. She likes her role. And, more importantly, I like mine. No matter how it looks to others, we are doing this because we both want it. It’s a lot harder to return that bed than it is to withdraw consent.

Why is it good to think about this every so often? Because our keyholders are providing a wonderful, sometimes-frustrating service for us. While you are thinking about how all this is your choice, maybe it is also time to thank the person who makes it all possible for you.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion’s been in pain lately. He’s been staying off his shoulder, so to speak. I’ve been doing most of the cooking and taking care of the dishes. I guess we’re both honing our “skills” for after his surgery. I don’t mind. The worst part about making dinner is figuring out what to have. Once that’s decided, the actual cooking isn’t a problem. Of course, we’re not eating any five star cooking. It’s just regular food. I have a feeling Lion will be back in the kitchen relatively soon because he’ll be bored with my simple recipes.

My job, however, is not just to keep Lion nourished. It’s to make sure he’s well-cared for and part of that is making sure he isn’t doing anything stupid. He needs to move his arm, but not too much. He needs to get to his doctor and physical therapy appointments. He needs to stay safe. Nurse 2.0 is already on the job. He’s been apologizing for asking me to make dinner, but 2.0 would be telling him to sit his butt down if he attempted to make dinner while in pain anyway.

I’m not sure what he’s going to do without me on his business trip. He’ll have to lift his suitcase and computer bag. No one will tell him to sit his butt down if he does too much. No, he’s not completely helpless. I just worry he’ll do too much and wind up in more pain. I wish I had more vacation time available to go with him to help.

Maybe it’s the Mom in me that worries so much about him. Lion is a big boy. He’s taken this trip many times. He’s been hurt for almost all of them. I just didn’t know how hurt until a few months ago. I don’t think he did either.