Beyond The Paddle

I’m on my way south again for my last business trip before surgery. It will be at least two months post surgery before I can take care of myself well enough to travel alone. I’ll be back at the end of the week. It’s not a terrible trip by any means.

Yesterday, I asked Mrs. Lion whether she thought our FLR and male chastity would survive the long period of rule suspension while I recover. She said that she had been thinking about this too. She said that she didn’t plan to let me disregard her rules for long at all. She pointed out that she may put up with me interrupting me while stoned on the pain meds I will be taking in the beginning. But once I had better control, she expects me to toe the line. If I do interrupt her, for example, she will tell me in no uncertain terms.

Spanking and most other punishments aren’t going to be possible while my arm is in a sling. So stern words will have to do. While we didn’t discuss it, we both thought about other punishments that would work during my recovery. I could think of several. But I also realized that piling more misery on me, while trying to live with no use of my right arm, is probably too much.

My worry isn’t that I would go out of control because Mrs. Lion didn’t have me on a tight leash. It is that we would lapse back into our old patterns and my lioness would stop being the leader. I don’t want that. I can’t speak for her. We haven’t arrived at the point where our roles are fully assimilated into our personalities and our lifestyle. We’re getting there, but we have a way to go.

So, six months or more of less clear lines of authority could slowly revert all the work we have done. But with me in bed and clearly in pain, Mrs. Lion maintaining her authority is not a simple task. You might think that the solution is for her to be just as strict as ever. That’s reasonable in many ways, but there are a couple of problems with this idea.

First, I may not be aware that I am doing something wrong. Strong pain medication does reduce my connection with reality. I doubt I would even know what I am supposed to do when medicated. Second, I will be under continuous physical and emotional stress as I try to cope with my new disability. Wouldn’t adding punishment make things even worse? I know Mrs. Lion thinks so.

It seems to me that the only way to continue our FLR-in-training is for Mrs. Lion’s authority to be based on my desire for her approval. Showing disappointment when I forget or break a rule is about as severe a punishment as I can take. Actually, that is pretty severe. I already feel that I am putting her out way too much. To disappoint her as well is horrible. It may be too much.

Spanking is very painful; but when it is done, I’ve paid for my crime. Feeling that I disappointed Mrs. Lion will keep hurting for a long time. It’s a much harsher punishment than a beating could ever be. I think Mrs. Lion is aware of this. There’s a lot for both of us to learn when the paddle has to be left in it’s place.