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In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion was sort of a wreck last night. We ate carbs again so he snoozed a bit. Then he wasn’t horny when we snuggled because he was tired and his allergies were bothering him. He always apologizes for not being horny. There’s no reason for it. I’m just happy we’re together.

Tonight we need to figure out something non-carb for dinner. Lion says he’s somewhat horny. I’ll have to vacuum the bedroom and get things cleaner for him so he’s less itchy. I don’t want him to keep feeling like he’s broken when there’s another reason he’s not horny. How can you perform if your mind is on scratching? Most of all, I just want Lion to be comfortable. Horny or not, he shouldn’t be driven crazy by allergies.

Since I know he’s been having a tough time, I haven’t been holding him to the orgasm of the night experiment. I changed it to the every other night plan, but even that hasn’t seemed to work. For now, we’re on the whenever-he-can-have-an-orgasm plan. That works fine for me. And I guess it’s actually better for his orgasm average if he doesn’t have one every night. The whole point of that experiment, of course, was to see if he could actually get excited every night. Apparently he can’t, but it’s not for the reason I expected.

Last night was punishment night and technically I could have punished him. I was trying to tell him something and I couldn’t get the words out as fast as he liked so he “helped” me. Finally I yelled at him to let me talk. That should have been followed by the kitchen paddle being used. I didn’t. I didn’t even punish him later. I was wrong for not punishing him. I just know he hasn’t been feeling well and he might have been interrupting because he didn’t feel well. I don’t think I’ll punish him for it tonight either. I’ve self-imposed a limit on punishing him for that. I snooze, I lose.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

Most of my posts are upbeat. We’ve worked through the big issues created by enforced chastity and domestic discipline. So I don’t have much to complain about. Nevertheless, there are times when I want to relax and not worry about breaking rules. It’s completely irrational.

I started thinking it would be nice to have a domestic discipline holiday when misdeeds would be overlooked. I realize that’s a horrible idea. It isn’t because it would be bad to be exempt from punishment. It’s that I am saying that I want to be free to be rude and not aware of Mrs. Lion’s feelings. That’s just stupid.

It would be unnatural if I didn’t want to avoid punishment. I know that I can (mostly) keep the paddle away if I do what I am supposed to do. I’m whining about putting in the effort I should to build our already-wonderful relationship. Am I asking to be permitted to cut Mrs. Lion off and interrupt her? Do I really want to show disrespect by eating first? I don’t! Do I want to be spanked if I do one of those things. No, I don’t; but regardless I need the correction.

So what does that feeling I want a holiday from these things mean? I think it is very simple. I’m tired and grumpy. I didn’t sleep very well this past weekend. My allergies have been acting up. My energy is drained. It’s difficult to do anything. So, my mind drifts back to times when the only person I needed to think about was me. I could just pull the covers over my head and block out the world.

All of us feel like that from time to time. If domestic discipline is a form of D/S activity, then it would be fair to ask for a time out. As fast as I thought I wanted a holiday, I realized that none of the stuff we are doing is part of any scene. It’s our lives. Am I saying I want a vacation from my sweetie? No way!

Once I realized this, my thoughts of getting a time out vanished. I was still tired and grumpy and I still hated the idea of being punished, but I also knew that life doesn’t park for a while just because I’m out of sorts. Domestic discipline isn’t an activity we can put on hold. To try would be a disservice to us both. I guess that means that regardless of my mood or energy level, rules continue to apply and I am accountable for my actions. Hmm, sounds like I’m a grownup. How about that?

I think it’s healthy to wish for a discipline holiday. It’s healthier to recognize that’s a stupid concept. I can keep the paddle at bay if I just do what I should. So every day I am well behaved is a discipline holiday. What a concept!

By:
In: Punishment

Lion remembered his training collar both times we went out this weekend. He got the customary vibration to let him know I knew he was wearing it. First, I try to connect. If I am successful then I give him a vibration. Obviously, if I can’t connect I can’t give him the vibration. I usually wait until we’re driving away from the house before I tell him I can’t connect. That way he can’t rectify the situation. If he’s caught, he’s caught.

He may have been good about remembering the collar, but he did interrupt me. He has a habit of assuming he knows what I’m saying and trying to finish my sentence. Sometimes he is correct. Other times he’s not. Every time he is wrong to interrupt. On Sunday, he got zapped for his indiscretion. We were home at the time and he was sitting on the bed starting to undress when I let him have it. It almost shot him off the bed. Despite the abruptness and surprise, I’m sure he’d rather have that than a sore butt. It also crossed my mind that he might have to wear a diaper for the rest of the day, but then the zap was too good to pass up.

When Lion was sick with his kidney stones, I allowed him to be wild. It didn’t seem fair to cage my weenie when he wasn’t feeling well. And then, of course, he had a stent in my weenie and that really wouldn’t have been fair to cage him. On our first trip out of the house after he felt better, I reminded Lion to wear the training collar. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but it had been so long I didn’t want him to get in trouble for something it was logical he’d forget. Now, all bets are off. If he forgets, he’ll be punished. No more Mrs. Nice Lion. At least as far as the training collar is concerned.

I have been nice about the cage. Recently, I’ve been thinking that if Lion isn’t horny he can be wild. Plus, this week he has a doctor’s appointment so he’ll remain wild until after that. I’m still sort of trying the orgasm-a-day experiment and I figure that will keep him less horny. So far, he’s had orgasms every other day or so. That’s probably more doable than every day. We’ll see how that works out for a while. He may still have trouble with that.

It’s all just part of our recent experiments.Try a dab of this, a pinch of that, and see what we come up with. Sometimes it’s successful. Sometimes it’s not. You never know until you try.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

At some point things go from interesting, sometimes-painful play and become real. I don’t think either Mrs. Lion or I ever expected enforced chastity and domestic discipline to become part of our day-to-day lives. My fantasies never pictured how it would be if that happened.

I’m not sure when the transition occurred, but I know it has. The rules I follow are just part of my life. Punishment is administered without any fetish-related activity. It’s just, “Go pick a paddle.” I find one and without another word lie face down on the bed. Mrs. Lion applies the paddle very painfully; usually without saying a word. It’s all just part of our lives. Our roles are fixed in our marriage.

The same is true of sex. With or without the chastity device, my only stimulation comes from her. She is understanding if I can’t respond the way she wants. She understands that my body doesn’t always cooperate as well as it should. But she tries anyway if she wishes. If she doesn’t, no amount of begging will get her to let me come. She calls it “her weenie”. It truly is.

None of this happened quickly. The process is so gradual that I don’t think either of us noticed. It’s taken years. It’s interesting that we started because she agreed to try something I thought would be fun. We never discussed how it would evolve. There have been many times that one or both of us felt that things weren’t working. At those times we talked and agreed we would try a bit more.

After a particularly painful spanking, I can withdraw. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion worries she has gone too far. She doesn’t see it as an opportunity to give me a way out. I never consider that we can stop. I feel hurt and a little angry. I pout, but I never have a single thought about changing anything. The fact that neither of us considers ending things is the indicator that domestic discipline and enforced chastity have lives of their own. They are part of us. The only changes are the ones we have to make internally to better support what we are doing.

This may seem strange to you. After all, both are kinks that we spent many years without. But now, sometimes without any idea why they work, we both agree that our relationship is richer for our choice. Domestic discipline, in particular, offers the most graphic illustration of how we have changed. Mrs. Lion has made it clear that if I am unhappy about being punished, I can prevent it. All I have to do is behave as she wishes. If I’m painfully spanked it’s because I did something wrong. So, as she says, all I have to do is what I’m supposed to. Simple.

Notable by its absence is any mention that we can stop if I am unhappy about being punished. That’s not an option either of us considers. We’ve both learned that the more “memorable” my punishments, the less likely I will earn another. As Mrs. Lion has become more severe in her punishments, she has also become more observant of my behavior. It seems that once she decided that when she spanks me, I will feel as much pain as possible, she also decided to become a strict enforcer of my rules.

We didn’t discuss this. It just happened. Things just changed. We crossed a line. There’s no going back. Last week I was spanked with a slotted wooden spoon that I selected. One of the slots cut me a little and I bled. Once before a spanking caused me to bleed a bit. That time Mrs. Lion stopped at once and was upset that she drew blood. Last week it didn’t even slow her down. When she finished, she told me I was bleeding. I asked for a band aid to keep the blood off the bed. She put one on. No big deal.

The point isn’t that Mrs. Lion is comfortable drawing blood and that her punishments are horribly cruel. They aren’t. They are probably less severe than they will be as she gets more comfortable with physical punishment. I’m not injured physically or psychologically. The opposite is true. The more severe her punishments, the more comfortable I am in my role. I don’t know why that’s true, but it is.

I had chastity fantasies for many years. I also dreamed about being spanked. What we have now goes well beyond anything I imagined. I still have some  fantasies about both. I am not trying to live them. They are just nice, erotic thoughts. My reality is much more interesting and exciting.