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In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion is all healed. He worried that I might aggravate things if I gave him a hand job so he suggested the Magic Wand. Of course it worked wonders. He was hard in no time and it didn’t hurt the sore spot.

Earlier, he said he had to wait until his next scheduled date of January 6. I never said that. I told him I still owed him an orgasm. He said I didn’t owe him anything. According to him I didn’t. Who listens to him? Not me. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t get his orgasm on New Year’s day. I said he would get it when he was ready for it. Last night he was ready. Therefore, he got his orgasm last night. It’s as simple as that. Don’t make things any more complicated than they need to be.

On the flip side, he says I owe him swats because he moved the other day. Just because he says it doesn’t make it true. I haven’t decided if he’ll get punishment swats for moving during punishment. Maybe adding more swats for not staying still during swats doesn’t make any sense. Maybe it should be something else, like tiny clothes pins. If he knows the punishment for not staying still is worse than the swats themselves, maybe he won’t move. Maybe it should be two or three days added to his wait. Maybe it should be diapers. I need to think about it.

At this point, Lion is safely locked away again. I’m pretty sure leaving him wild so he could apply medicine and not have the cage rubbing helped heal him quickly. Not that he would have anyway, but having a sore weenie really kept him from playing with himself while unlocked.

 

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In: Advice to caged males, Chastity device fitting, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

I’m within a week of completing my second year locked in enforced chastity. In that time Mrs. Lion and I have written over 1,000 posts on the subject. All those posts track our lives and how they have changed since I surrendered control over my sexuality. While we have a number of pages on how to start enforced chastity (see the tabs at the top of this page), I thought I would give my perspective at this time.

The chastity device is the most debated part of enforced chastity. Put simply, it is a device that physically prevents erection and orgasm. Some guys mistakenly believe that the device should accommodate their erections, just prevent masturbating. That’s completely wrong. The device should fit tightly enough to prevent any growth inside the cage or tube.

The big problem in the beginning is selecting the right device. You can find an endless array of devices for sale on the Internet. Amazon has resellers that mark up devices you can get directly from China where they are made. These devices are very inexpensive; some as little as $25.  If you can find one that fits you properly, it’s like winning the lottery. There are thousands of articles on selecting a device. I think I can help cut through the crap. A lot of women say that all male genitals are alike. They’re not. That’s why finding an off-the-shelf device that will serve you is so unlikely.

The big problem is that a chastity device has to be comfortable enough to wear 24 hours-a-day, 7 days-a-week indefinitely. Mine has been on over 95% of the time. It only comes off for play sessions and the very rare break of a few days. That means if I am wearing a device that chafes around my balls or irritates my penis, I won’t be able to keep it on. It will interfere with my sleep and make moving around hell. If it hurts when I try to get hard, then I will awaken in pain every night when my body decides to give me an nocturnal erection. I’ve tested at least 20 different devices and every single one hurt to wear enough to convince me to take it off. I know that a lot of guys muscle through the discomfort with soothing creams under their base rings and tolerating the painful midnight erections.

This simply won’t do. The point of enforced chastity is sexual control, not enduring uncomfortable hardware. The only purpose of a chastity device is to prevent arousal and orgasm. The ideal device is so comfortable that you forget it is there. Oh yes, it should also be difficult to remove without the key. Let’s get security out of the way right now. Unless you have a penis piercing with a locking ring on it, there is no way to make a ball capture device impossible to escape. I don’t think security is very important. After all, I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. I don’t know of any cases when the female partner proposed enforced chastity. So, as far as I’m concerned, I won’t try to escape. I do want it secure enough that pulling out isn’t easy and putting it back is even harder. I don’t want to be tempted to jerk off when massively horny. But I don’t need more security than enough to control a passing urge to be naughty.

For me, comfort is the key. Right behind comfort is ease of use. Some devices are just a pain to put on or take off. Since Mrs. Lion puts me into my cage and takes my penis out, the device has to not frustrate her in the effort. I know that a lot of guys manage their own chastity devices. Over time, a device that is hard to deal with is going to be frustrating. Going a long time without a chance to come is frustrating enough. Who needs more aggravation?

I wear a Jail Bird custom made by Mature Metal. It isn’t the sexiest device, but it is secure and extremely comfortable. I forget I am wearing it most of the time and a nocturnal erection never wakes me up. It costs about $400 with the security screw option (that replaces the padlock with a screw that requires a special tool [supplied] to remove). Precise measurements are required. Even with careful measurement, adjustments will probably be needed. Fortunately, Mature Metal and other custom cage makers are happy to adjust for a reasonable charge. I needed to have my cage shortened by a full 1/2″ before I got the right fit. It fits perfectly now and to look at me in it (Click the MORE link for NSFW image of me in my cage) you would imagine that I am tiny when hard. I’m not giant, but erect my penis is a full 6 1/2″ long (measured from my belly side).

That’s the thing about penises, they are extremely flexible when flaccid. They easily fit into spaces you would never imagine possible. Since a proper fitting cage should always be in contact with the sides and head of your penis, it needs to be considerably shorter than you would imagine. I don’t even know mine is on and you can see how short it is.

Four hundred dollars? Are you kidding? I’m not rich! That’s what I usually hear when I suggest starting off with a custom cage. The cage is the only thing you have to buy. It’s needed for the “sport”. You need the right equipment. A lot of guys say that they just want to “try chastity out” and to do that they don’t want to spend much money. I get that. But are you really trying out enforced chastity when you have to suffer when wearing the device? I bought a few of the cheap, Chinese devices before I got serious with enforced chastity. After trying out four devices (cost over $150), I found one I could tolerate. That’s when I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. After a week of wearing the device I thought would work, I was in pain. The hinge on the base ring hurt, the squared sides of the ring chafed me. The cage was too long and peeing was random, at best. I realized that this experiment wouldn’t have a chance without better equipment. That’s when I ordered the Jail Bird.

The good news about wearing those cheap devices was that I had a very good idea what size base ring I needed. That is often the trickiest part of fitting. Mature Metal charges very little to swap rings, so getting the size wrong is no big deal. Once ordered, it took six weeks to get my custom cage. I wore the Chinese one until it arrived. I was so happy to make the change! The fact is that I would have never been able to continue with enforced chastity in an off-the-shelf device. With one, I could focus on the real challenges of enforced chastity.

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In: Male Control (training), Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

It’s safe to say that Lion and I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking we disappoint each other. I think I don’t do enough for him. He thinks he doesn’t do enough for me. We’re a mess.

Last night I gave Lion his punishment swats for saying he’s broken all the time. Before I started, I warned him that if he moved we’d have to start all over again. One of his New Year’s resolutions was to stay still for punishment no matter how much it hurt. After eight or ten hard swats last night, with a pause in the middle for effect, he rolled over and told me it was just too much. I thought I could get him to roll over but then I realized it really was too much for him. Naturally, I thought I had gone too far. And also naturally, he thought he hadn’t gone far enough. He spent the rest of the night apologizing for moving and for breaking his resolution. He thinks he failed me. I kept telling him it was okay. After all, I thought I had failed him. We’re quite a pair.

This morning he asked if we can try again. We can. But why? What am I punishing him for? This is where I lose focus. He already feels bad that he moved, so isn’t he already punishing himself? He didn’t disappoint me. If anything, he disappointed himself. When my kids did something stupid, I’d yell for a bit and then tell them they were grounded for a certain period of time. When my then-husband came home we’d discuss it and he’d yell all over again and tell them they were grounded. Why? I’d already handled it. We’re done here. Why beat a dead horse?

So tonight I’ll punish Lion for not staying still during punishment. My challenge will be to make the swats as hard as last night. Punishing him for moving does not annoy me as much as his saying he’s broken.

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In: Anal play
njoy butt plug
Njoy butt plug. It is available in several sizes. This is a heavy, metal plug that is easy to accept and retain. The handle makes it easy for the keyholder to insert and remove.

As Mrs. Lion wrote yesterday, I  have a sore of unknown origin on my penis. It looks a lot better and doesn’t hurt if touched. I’m healing. I’m also wearing the Njoy large butt plug. There is a larger one, the Njoy 2.0. We have that model but I am in no way ready to accept it. The plug is anatomically designed with a very narrow neck (See image, right) and a large body. Once in, it nestles nicely in my anal canal. More traditional plugs are straight and have much thicker necks. As far as anal training goes, a wider neck is better to condition anal muscles to relax and more easily accept larger objects, like dildos for pegging. I’m sure Mrs. Lion will work on that too. In the meantime, I’m grateful to be wearing this more-comfortable model.

This sort of activity has nothing to do with enforced chastity. It’s just that a lot of people who practice chastity also like other forms of topping too. Caging and controlling my penis is just one form of power exchange. Training me to accept anal visitors is another. And, of course, I also accept domestic discipline. Anal play has an erotic component even though it doesn’t give me an erection. Domestic discipline is not a bit arousing except as a fantasy. The practice is very unpleasant and encourages me to work hard to avoid punishment.

Speaking of punishment, Mrs. Lion wrote that I would be punished for saying that I am broken. I am writing this on Saturday evening (plugged and sitting at my desk). The spanking will come later. I know it will test my resolution to hold still for any amount of painful spanking. I’ll do my best but I am very sure it will take time and lots of painful practice for me to actually succeed.

This is not good pain. I love play spankings that can get just as intense as punishment. The difference is that during a play spanking, Mrs. Lion is watching my reactions and adjusting her swats to allow my endorphin level to build up so that the swats actually feel good. Punishment spankings start with very hard swats and never let up. In this case, Mrs. Lion wants the opposite effect. If she sees I am not suffering enough, she will swat much harder. Her implement of choice is called a ferule. It is 16-inches long with a 3 1/2 inch diameter business end. It’s made of heavy, hard wood and is 3/8th-inches thick. That long handle and small striking area gives her a lot of leverage. In fact, this paddle is based on a design used for punishment in American colonial times. Of all the paddles I have ever experienced, it is the most effective.

This seems very hot to think about. It’s the opposite when you are the target. I am not even slightly aroused thinking about the upcoming spanking. I dread it. As Mrs. Lion likes to say, “That’s the idea, isn’t it?” Yes, Mrs. Lion, it is. I don’t like it a bit. Of course, nobody asked me if I did. This is the point where fantasy and reality diverge the most. For me, at least, it clearly reminds me that this isn’t a game designed to turn me on. It’s negative reinforcement designed to change my behavior. Experience has taught me that I am often not a very fast learner; but after a few “reminders” I learn. Discipline to be effective, requires almost perfect consistency. Not only does consistent enforcement effect the behavior change, but it also gives me a feeling of security.

The idea that punishment provides security isn’t as odd as it might sound. Since I agreed to domestic discipline and Mrs. Lion has set some boundaries, if crossing one fails to evoke an appropriate response, I start to wonder if I am worth the time and trouble to control me. Loving strictness builds an amazing bond between both disciplining wife and her disciplined husband. Agreeing to provide domestic discipline, enforced chastity, and other power exchanges, is a commitment that is held very deeply by the disciplined husband, me. I am not sure I can put why into words. I think it’s that I have agreed to be vulnerable; to be sexually controlled and punished for any reason Mrs. Lion wishes. That agreement puts me in a very emotionally vulnerable state. Love is now expressed by strict enforcement of our exchange in addition to the more traditional ways.

I know that Mrs. Lion loves me even if she forgets to discipline me, play, or do things she said she would do. I don’t believe she no longer loves me. It’s not that simple. For me, at least, it feels badly when that predictability goes awry. From what I’ve read, others have the same reaction. Mrs. Lion knows this. She’s written about it. It’s one of the most difficult things about being in charge. What can feel like a small omission can mean quite a lot to the person you rule. I’m really lucky my lioness loves me so much that she works hard to avoid hurting me that way. For the record, I’m not broken. I am out of commission sexually for a while. However, as Mrs. Lion has shown me, there is another place she can exert sexual control. I have a plug in that place now.