spanking paddle
This is the very mean paddle. It’s length, weight, and small business end combine to make it exceptionally painful. This design is based on a paddle used during U.S. colonial times on recalcitrant adults.

Over the last three years I have received a lot of comments that wonder why I would work so hard to make my life more difficult. The fact is that there is a method to all this madness. This past week I think we have made another breakthrough.  It’s a good time to take a look at the progress we have made to date.

Three years ago I rediscovered enforced male chastity. For fifteen years I had an interest in this practice. I have been reviewing male chastity devices since the early 1990’s. I never really wanted to stay locked up until a fateful day in December 2013. I had been sampling cheap, Chinese chastity devices. One seemed pretty wearable. The idea of being locked up still turned me on. I  decided to ask Mrs. Lion to lock me up.

I was thinking about more than sexual arousal. For a decade, Mrs. Lion and I had grown more distant sexually. We weren’t having sex. She would give me a hand job every month or so. I masturbated a few times a week. I figured that if she locked me up and agreed to tease me and give me periodic orgasms, we would have sexual contact much more frequently than we had at the time.

Mrs. Lion agreed to try enforced chastity. She believed that we would do this for a short time and then I would get tired of being locked up. In the meantime she would be making me happy. I really had no idea whether or not I could last being locked up full time. A month went by. Then another, and a few more. I was still locked up. Both of us found that enforced chastity brought us closer; so much closer that we decided to continue indefinitely. Intimacy had returned to our marriage. It extended beyond sex. We communicated!

Absolutely all sexual pleasure I get comes from her. The last time I masturbated was in January 2014 when she wanted to watch how I did it.  For the first two years or so, Mrs. Lion allowed me to take the lead as to how long I waited between orgasms. By the end of the second year, I had no say at all in when I got to ejaculate. To our surprise, enforced chastity became an integral part of our marriage. It works for us. Mrs. Lion still tinkers with how long I wait. She is an expert at edging me.

During most of the time I have been wearing a chastity device, we also tinkered with “rules” and spankings for breaking them. For the first year and a half what we were doing was essentially BDSM play. I find the idea of being spanked very hot. I get hard thinking of it. The stage was set for a female led relationship with domestic discipline.

When I first suggested the rules and spankings, I had two thoughts: The first was that I get aroused by the idea of Mrs. Lion spanking me. The second was that I wanted Mrs. Lion to feel empowered to express her feelings, particularly to me. She is a laid-back lioness who would rather keep quiet about something she doesn’t like than get into any kind of conflict. I think that pushing feelings back inside will eventually result in some kind of explosion. It could be an ulcer for her or divorcing me. Neither is acceptable.

I reasoned that if the rules and spanking activity we were doing could help her feel empowered to express her feelings, then like enforced chastity, this communication would bring us closer. In March 2015 I asked her if we could formalize the idea of a Female Led Relationship with Domestic Discipline. She agreed. Once again, she did it because it would make me happy.

This formalization, at least to me, meant that I agreed to obey her and would accept punishment as she felt I need it. We discussed this and wrote about it here. We agreed to give it a try. For over a year we continued pretty much the way we did before starting our FLR.  At one point Mrs. Lion added a new rule for me. I was never to interrupt her.

That rule marked the beginning of Mrs. Lion using domestic discipline to correct a behavior she doesn’t like. It was a true milestone. But in order for the rule to be useful, it had to be enforced. To help with that, Mrs. Lion declared that Monday and Thursday would be punishment days. On those days she would spank me for any offenses I committed since the last punishment day. We agreed that without a formal schedule, we would let things slide and we would never create the discipline habit.

For the same reason, we expanded the essentially-trivial rules to include her always eating first or giving me permission to eat. I got spanked for violating this rule, getting food on my shirt, or interrupting her. The only rule that truly deserves strong punishment is interrupting her, of course. But we decided that all of the rules would earn spankings. This would guarantee that few punishment days would go by without a paddle being applied to my butt.

There is another reason we had those rules. They would “train” Mrs. Lion to consciously notice when I broke one and note it for retribution. It turned out that she almost never punished me for interrupting her and her track record for the other rules wasn’t much better. I posted about this several times and Mrs. Lion vowed to do better. She did. She got very good at it, in fact. She announced that she enjoyed catching me breaking a rule. Very few times that I ate first or got food on my shirt went unpunished. She wasn’t as diligent at punishing for interrupting her. But she was improving her record there too.

During this time, I talked about the spankings themselves. I complained that they were too mild. Mrs. Lion turned up the volume a bit. She tried to avoid a spot on my tush that was extremely sensitive and made me jump when she swatted it. We even tried using Lidocaine cream to lessen the sting so that I would feel more lasting effects.

In the last two weeks, things changed again. I discovered a blog that had been dormant for a long time, Wife’s In Charge. This blog is written by a woman who has been using domestic discipline for years. Her posts make a lot of sense to me. I’ve also been corresponding with her as well. She made a point that seems obvious but eluded both Mrs. Lion and I: spanking is supposed to be painful. In fact, the entire point of spanking is to inflict as much pain as possible without causing permanent injury. The light bulb turned on in my head.

Holy crap!

We had been thinking about my punishments all wrong. The idea is not to make it easier for me to take; quite the contrary. A spanking is supposed to be agony. It should be something I dread. I should feel the spanking for hours after it is done. We got the last part. It was the reason we tried Lidocaine.

My next spanking, which was for interrupting, was completely different. Mrs. Lion used a heavy rubber paddle. Every stroke burned and stung. I would try to wriggle away. Mrs. Lion patiently waited until I grew still and would begin again. I think it was the first “real” spanking I ever received. This past Monday I was punished for interrupting again. This time she used one of our wooden paddles. The spanking felt much milder to me. I told her so. Stupid lion!

Thursday night she used a long-handled paddle with a very small contact area; lots of leverage and all the force concentrated in a three-and-a-half inch area (see the image at the top of the post). It was way worse than the rubber paddle. This is what my bottom looked like when she finished. It looked like this a day later. Clearly we are in a new era of lion punishment.

Last week I got a new rule. Mrs. Lion noted that very often I would hijack the conversation. For example, Mrs. Lion was talking about the fact that she was getting a cold. I interjected (not interrupted!) that I hope I don’t get the cold while traveling next week. She was upset.  Instead of internalizing it, she explained what I did and told me that it is now a rule that I don’t make things about me. If I do, she considers it a serious offense. The spanking I received Thursday night is what I can expect for a serious offense.

The events of the last two weeks indicate to me that Mrs. Lion has begun internalizing FLR and DD. My help isn’t needed anymore. This is very similar to what happened when enforced chastity became a permanent part of our marriage

We haven’t arrived yet. But we are now on our way. Mrs. Lion still has to figure out how severe a minimal spanking should be; you know, for spilling food or eating first. My opinion is that it should be close to what I got Thursday. That spanking made its point and didn’t feel abusive to me. Mrs. Lion will figure it out.

I hope this explains why I’m not totally crazy when I encourage Mrs. Lion to make things worse for me. While I may end up with a sore bottom, our marriage is improving. Domestic Discipline has a serious purpose for us. It’s working.



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  1. Author

    This is a big help as my reluctant Mistress sees me as out of circulation just locking up. She has not taken the bill by the horns but spanked because I liked it. Now there would be a reason if punishment for what really bugs her will cause less offenses and I will be more sensitive to her as a result. This would bolster her effective discipline.

    1. Author

      Thanks for the history and what works.

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