Domestic discipline is a seriously misunderstood practice. Like enforced male chastity, most of what you read about it has been covered with individual kinks and fantasies. After doing a lot of reading online, I realized that the subject is so muddy that we need to start by offering some definitions. There are two kinds of domestic discipline: religiously-based punishment, and consensual power exchange. We are not discussing the Christian domestic discipline. This is non-consensual and contrary to what we believe. This conversation is about consensual power exchange. We have embarked on this practice as an extension of my enforced chastity. However, there is no requirement that the male be under enforced chastity. It is another topic entirely.
Domestic discipline is consensual. The male agreed to permit his partner to punish him. Without consent it is domestic violence.
Domestic discipline is simply one partner in a relationship having the power to administer punishment and grant rewards. It is an agreement between the members of the relationship that one, the woman in our case, has authority of the man, me. That means she is in control. Nothing about the man wearing a dress or other fetish activity. That may go with domestic discipline for some, but there is absolutely no requirement for it.
There is a common misconception that the woman, as disciplinarian, makes every decision for the man. He exists to obey and please. There is no requirement for this either. In a long-term, domestic-discipline relationship, the woman decides what she wishes to control Her male leads a completely normal life. He makes decisions, might be paying the bills, holds down a job, is a father to his kids, and functions as any other normal male in a relationship. But it isn’t like other relationships. He is obedient to his partner. She makes whatever rules she wishes, gives him tasks to do, and most importantly, holds him responsible for behaving in a way that pleases her. That means she doesn’t need a rule to apply discipline.
That’s a very important distinction. Many men imagine that they will be given long lists of tasks. They think their partner will oversee every little thing they do. Most women neither have the time nor the interest in being a micro manager. Of course, if she wishes she can be. But she decides. Just as enforced male chastity is a surrender of sexual control, domestic discipline is a much more sweeping surrender. He agrees to allow her to decide what she will control and he will accept her discipline as she sees fit. He also agrees to accept whatever punishments she wants to inflict.
Help him be a better man
Unless your man has a serious issue that needs correction, you probably wonder what behavior you might control. First, let’s rule out major problems like excessive drinking and drugs. Domestic discipline isn’t going to help and could well escalate into domestic abuse. The goal of domestic discipline is to make him a better man. With this concept in mind, it’s much easier to think of areas that would benefit from your control.
Mrs. Lion and I had no real luck starting a domestic discipline relationship. I asked her for it, but she asked what she should be controlling. It’s a fair question. So, in the beginning she made some trivial rules: if I dropped food or my napkin I would be spanked. Most of the time she forgot to spank me and I saw it as a game. It did teach Mrs. Lion she could spank me very hard with a nasty wooden paddle. So in that sense it did set the stage.
The breakthrough for us was when we realized there were valid opportunities for correction as well as reward. It started when Mrs. Lion acknowledged that I had been doing most of the cooking. As a reward she gave me a non-orgasmic sexual play session. I loved it. I wanted to earn more! A few days later I forgot to pick up a prescription she had asked me to get. She started by saying she would do it. That’s a normal reaction. The light bulb went on in my head. I asked her if she thought I should be disciplined for not doing something she asked. She agreed. The result was a very painful spanking.
We both learned something. Rewards and punishments could work to make me a better mate. It also meets a need I have been wanting to fulfill for a long time. One spanking a domestic discipline relationship doesn’t make. But it started the wheels in motion. For one thing, I realized that my fantasy domestic discipline wouldn’t work in reality. I wrote a post offering what I think is a more realistic approach. Mrs. Lion agreed.
How it works for us
We will both try to be much more aware of my service to Mrs. Lion. Forgetting to do something she asks will be punished as will disobeying a rule or an order. She doesn’t turn into a stern mistress who makes my life hell. She just becomes more observant and when I miss something, big or small, there is a painful consequence. On the other hand, when I go above and beyond, there is a nice reward.
There is no formal schedule of punishments. Mrs. Lion decides as she wishes. She can have me remember my transgressions and then repeat them to her at a punishment session. These sessions are scheduled by her at her convenience. Hinting or nagging about a session will earn more punishment at the appropriate time.
That’s it. Very simple to execute. It’s important to keep things direct and simple. Throw away all the BDSM fantasies. Ignore the need for an elaborate system of rules. You don’t need them. All you need is agreement that you, the woman, is in control and that you will enforce your control with punishments and rewards.
One other point that men frequently forget is that punishments are not fun. A punishment spanking hurts a lot. It’s supposed to. Mrs. Lion can also delay my next orgasm, cancel scheduled play sessions, make me stand in a corner, do anything she thinks will make her point. She doesn’t want me to try to get punished. She wants me to succeed in being her good lion. The goal is to make me an obedient and thoughtful mate. That’s domestic discipline.
Listen to this post.