By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my knee. Long story short, after three doctors, at least five xrays, one ultrasound and a bunch of poking and prodding, it’s all in my head. There’s no swelling, despite the distinct swelling I see. There’s no cartilage damage. Of course no one has actually checked the ligaments which is where I think the problem is. That would require an MRI and why do one of those when it’s all in my head?

Needless to say, I wasn’t in any mood for play. Lion, with his two orgasms two nights in a row, wasn’t either. I did ask him if he wanted to go for three in a row. We had a chuckle about that. He said he’s too old for that nonsense. I bet I could have gotten him excited if I tried, but it wouldn’t have been worth it to either of us.

I gave Lion a half-hearted punishment spanking for forgetting to put the training collar on when we went out Friday night. I forgot too so I didn’t swat too hard and I used a light paddle. It still hurt so it wasn’t a total waste. I also checked his buns for evidence of the dots and marks I’d left from our last numb butt experiment. They were gone. He had a pristine tushy.

I let Lion be wild for a while even though we weren’t going to play. It’s good for him to get out in the night air. It also helps any alignment issues he may had had during the day. A few times I’ve left him caged for a few days, he’s gotten all out of alignment and peeing was even more difficult. I’ve noticed that the screw can become loose if I don’t check it daily. All this can be accomplished by simply unlocking him. Yes, I know I can unlock him and immediately cage him again, but sometimes I like to fondle him while we snuggle even if I don’t intend to actually play with him or edge him. My modus operandi lately has been to allow him one last standing pee for the night before locking him away. Yes, I know I’m too nice to him. I still have a hard time being mean to him. Old habits die hard.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Ok, I’m competitive. When Mrs. Lion gave me a second orgasm in two days, when the glow wore off, I felt a tinge of regret. Am I having too many orgasms? Do I lose my position in the caged male community? Based on my calculations, the mean time between my orgasms is now an astounding three days. That’s the average number of orgasms for a vanilla guy. The median wait is a more respectable six days. OMG!

It certainly doesn’t feel to me like I come three times a week. The reality I experience is quite different. Mrs. Lion spaces my orgasms irregularly. I can go two weeks on the high side. Generally, the wait is between seven and ten days. And then, Surprise! I get to come two days in a row. I also may get an orgasm two or three times in a single week. There’s just no telling what Lioness will do.

I track my orgasms. The reason is that it’s easy for either of us to remember what happened a month or more ago. Oh, who’s kidding who; I like to keep stats on my chastity. It’s nice to report on it too. Other bloggers like to do that too. Guys who comment on our blog frequently let us know how long they’re waiting too.

It’s easy to forget what enforced chastity is about. In my opinion, it has little to do with length of abstinence. It’s about control. In fact, as Mrs. Lion observed three years ago, being made to ejaculate more frequently is sexual control too. I don’t get to decide when I can come. Mrs. Lion does. It doesn’t matter if it means I wait one day or a year, it’s out of my control.  Isn’t that what it’s all about?

I know what you are thinking. Lion isn’t challenged if he gets to come so often. Challenged? How? Is the measure of effective enforced chastity the level of frustration the males feels? If he isn’t horny, has the experience failed?

In those few moments after the orgasmic glow fades, I worry it has. I don’t think so. Enforced chastity isn’t an orgasmic pissing contest. It’s a power exchange. The quality of the power exchange isn’t based on the length of the wait. It’s based on the control the keyholder maintains. Like most guys, I like to measure. I measure and record the waits between ejaculations. Ok, I also measured the equipment more than once to provide information to people making me chastity devices.

We like to assume  that bigger is better. I’m average in that area. By extension, we males assume longer waits are better too. I strongly suspect that most keyholders take cues from their caged males as to how long to keep them waiting. Actually, I’m pretty sure that’s the case. What do you think?

By:
In: Unscheduled orgasm, Vibrator

Lion is a funny boy. When he’s locked up he wants to be wild. When he’s wild he wants to be locked up. When he’s denied he wants an orgasm. When he gets an orgasm he wants to be denied.

Saturday night, as you know, I gave him an orgasm. That would normally mean Sunday would be a day off. Lion wouldn’t really be horny. He would either remained caged or come out for some fresh air. So I unlocked him and he took a shower and cleaned the cage. Later on we snuggled and I asked if he was horny. He said he wasn’t really but my playing with Mr. Weenie felt nice. Then he asked if we could use the Magic Wand. This is Lion’s favorite non-Lioness toy. When it touches the sweet spot, Lion usually gasps.

I tried to match the Magic Wand to Lion’s thrust speed to see if I could get him to start bucking. Sure enough, he started with the tiniest of movements. He never really did get to the actual bucking stage, but he was thrusting. I thought “why not?” He loves his Magic Wand. He can have another orgasm with it. I edged him a few times and then kept going.

Afterwards, the silly boy asked what’s with coming two nights in a row and said I was ruining his average. Does he really want to come less often? I know two nights in a row can get tiresome after a while. When we first met, he wanted to come every night. And he did for a very long time. I teased him that if he’s worried about his average then he doesn’t have to come for the rest of the year. Uh oh. That’s over two months. That may not be long for some caged males, but my Lion is a bit spoiled. Some might say he’s more than a bit spoiled.

That’s OK. I like giving him orgasms. And I’m sure he appreciates them more than he worries about his average. Right, Lion? [Lion – Yes, Ma’am.]

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

It seems that male domestic discipline is an extremely rare practice. That is, the male receives the discipline and the disciplining wife administers it. Still rare, but substantially more popular, is female domestic discipline. Various Christian congregations include this as part of a proper Christian life.  The male version has no official sanction, religious or otherwise. Mrs. Lion and I practice the male version. Mrs. Lion spanks me when I break a rule or disobey her. Spanking seems to be the punishment of choice for domestic discipline (DD). However, many couples employ other methods of retribution as well.

There is no social or religious justification for our DD. Our parents or fellow congregants haven’t set examples. You could argue that our DD is just another BDSM practice and not a serious part of our relationship. It’s a fair argument. In my mind, something leaves the realm of BDSM and enters daily life when the practitioners consider the practice a serious part of their normal, daily lives. That doesn’t mean punishments are administered frequently. If anything, frequent punishment would suggest BDSM. It means that the disciplining wife is constantly observing her husband’s behavior and disciplines him when he requires it.

I’ve written a lot about the difference between a BDSM spanking and one for punishment. Some people in the D/S community use disciplinary spanking as part of their scenes. So the intensity and quality of the punishments aren’t truly indicators of the presence of DD. Then, what is? That’s something I have been thinking about lately.

Mrs. Lion and I had a conversation the other night about our female led relationship (FLR) and, by extension, our DD. After over a year, I still handle the finances and we usually operate as a partnership. We never had a goal of transferring the money management to her, but we both imagined that was part of FLR. We also imagined that she would take over almost all decision making in her role. That also hasn’t happened.

Our relationship is peaceful and division of management and chores is very organic. I mentioned to Mrs. Lion that the reason I think we haven’t made more drastic transitions of control is because what we have works for us. She’s shown no desire to assume the ownership of things I manage.  Does that mean we can’t have an FLR? I suggested that we can and do. Mrs. Lion makes and enforces rules as she wishes. We do have a FLR, maybe just one in the early stages.

Domestic discipline in our relationship is a little harder to verify. I’ve been practicing BDSM for decades. I’m a switch. In my bottom role, I like to be spanked. You could argue that even though Mrs. Lion administers painful punishment spankings, perhaps on some level I like them. Maybe the rules and punishments for infractions are more of a kinky scene than true DD.

I don’t think the fact I dread these spankings and try to avoid them as an indicator we have DD. It could be part of a D/S game. It could also be true DD. How can we know? For that matter, should we even care?

People who write about DD and claim to be long term practitioners say they have punishment rituals that go beyond a simple, painful spanking. Most say they do use spanking as the primary expression of displeasure. They also claim to use corner time, suspension of privileges, and other forms of punishment used by strict parents. Let’s face it, those activities can also be part of a D/S scene. I know lots of people who use corner time, etc. as part of their play.

It seems to me that the true test of whether a relationship is DD is expressed by intent. If the disciplined husband truly works hard to be “good” and avoid punishment it indicates he is serious. Similarly, if the disciplining wife invests time and energy in observing and promptly correcting her husband’s misbehavior, they have a DD marriage.

I think that definition is the one Mrs. Lion and I agree is the measure of our DD marriage. Most of the work is hers. If she is consistent and strict, I will work hard to be the husband she wants. Over time, all this becomes a natural part of our lives and it stops being work. That’s when I think we can truly say we have a DD marriage. The learning process is painful for me, but even more difficult for Mrs. Lion. She has to learn new patterns of thinking and acting. We’re making progress, but we both have a way to go.