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In: Chastity hardware, Lion's Journal

I’m still coughing a bit, but my stomach has settled down and my energy level is near normal. Mrs. Lion is still under the weather. She is working but her stomach is still bothering her. We may need another day before we are both ready to get back into action. My libido hasn’t returned but I’m not too worried. Mrs. Lion can do magic with that.

Guys seem to have the same sort of strong feelings about chastity devices that they do about cars. There are Ford guys and Porsche guys. In chastity there are Mature Metal men and CB3000 men. I guess it is natural that something as intimate as a chastity device will generate a lot of loyalty if it fits well and is secure.

I don’t see anything wrong with that. I’m very partial to my Mature Metal Jail Bird. But it is expensive and a lot of guys starting out aren’t in the position to spend that much money. Mine cost about $400 after adding the security screw option. Can you test out enforced chastity without a big investment? I think you can if you move your focus away from the hardware.

Male chastity is about controlled abstinence. The male surrenders sexual control to his keyholder. In most of our fantasies, this control is enforced by wearing a device that makes sexual arousal and ejaculation impossible. But it doesn’t have to be that way; at least in the beginning.

Most of us have enough self control to keep our hands off our penises if we agree to surrender control. So, if in the beginning, the “honor” system is used to enforce chastity, then hardware purchases can be delayed. This is a good idea anyway. The first thing any guy has to do in order to get a good-fitting device is to know what size base ring he needs. That’s the ring that goes around your cock and balls.

It takes trial and error to get this right. Mature Metal sells an inexpensive set of plastic rings that lets you test various diameters. In order to know what size you need, you have to wear a ring for at least a week. A ring that feels good for the first few hours after putting it on, may end up chafing after a few days. Or, on the other hand, one of your balls may slip out if it is too big.

So, while you are on the honor system you can be wearing a ring that will remind you of your promise and will let you figure out the size you need. If you follow this process, by the time you have decided that you want to continue enforced chastity, you will also know your base ring size. Waiting will give you time to save the money you need for a custom device. The only question is whether you have the self control to wait before getting the hardware.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion is worried we won’t play if he’s not caged anymore. I can see his point. But I’m also thinking that we would never allow ourselves to go back into the dark ages.

It’s true we’re not playing now, but that’s largely due to illness and Lion’s bout with unemployment. Once we get on more stable ground, I have no doubt we’ll get back to normal. It may not happen before Lion’s scheduled orgasm on Saturday, but I’d like to at least attempt it.

I think the basic idea of the dark ages was that I was mad at Lion for not initiating sex. He wanted sex but he wanted me to be the one to initiate. That didn’t make any sense to me. It was a one way street. What did I get out of the deal? I figured if I wanted sex, I should initiate. If he wants it, he should initiate. That seems rational.

Of course, when Lion wanted to go to the movies, I was the one who was expected to look up where and when the movie was playing. Same idea. If I want to go, I should look. If he wants to go, he should look. So I decided that he wouldn’t get sex until he asked. And he only asked every so often.

I guess I’m naive. It never occurred to me that he was masturbating. I just figured he didn’t want sex enough to ask for it. Just like, despite all his noise about wanting to see a particular movie, he rarely got the information to go.

Eventually I laid down the law about the movie thing. Now when he mentions wanting to go to the movies I tell him he knows what he needs to do. I don’t really remember if that was before or after we started FLR.

One of the reasons I don’t think we’d revert to the dark ages is that even without the cage, if he mentions how horny he is, I’ll know he’s ready to play. Our agreement is still the same.

Mr. Weenie is my toy. He’s not allowed to touch except for cleaning and peeing. He certainly is not allowed to masturbate. His sexual activity is still dependent on me. He is still my responsibility. I’ll be making the orgasm schedule. I know when he needs to be punished. I’ll decide when he gets edged. With or without the cage, nothing else has changed.

Now all we have to do is both feel well enough to pick up where we left off.

By:
In: Lion's Journal

Mrs. Lion and I slept in yesterday. Then we ventured out to run a few errands. When we got home, we were both exhausted. We undressed, got into bed, and fell asleep. Dinner was a rotisserie chicken we bought when we were out. Needless to say, sex and play were out. We did talk about it and agreed that as soon as we feel better, we will begin again.

I’m getting better. Yesterday, I just couldn’t write a post. Now I’m up and at the computer. We both think we are on the mend now. I sure hope so. I spent my first week at work coughing and feeling tired. I had an overnight business trip that was exhausting in my weakened condition. Next Sunday I am off again; this time for five nights.

We discussed how the recent hiatus in play and overt FLR affects our writing. We discussed whether we should just stop writing until we felt better and had some hot adventures to share. We agreed that we shouldn’t. What we are going through now is a normal part of life. If FLR and enforced chastity are to be more than kinky play, we all have to accept that times like this will happen to everyone.

One issue that I’m a little unsure about is the chastity device. At this point it isn’t needed to assure I won’t masturbate or get into any stimulating trouble. Is it needed to remind us to keep playing? Will we fall back into the sexless, roommate mode without it. I’ve been wild for a couple of weeks now. I don’t want to put it back on right now. I like that I have one less thing to think about as I find my way in my new job. Mrs. Lion is agreeable.

The question in my mind is: If we don’t have the cage that is a constant reminder of Mrs. Lion’s sexual control, will we both just forget about sex entirely? I can see that happening. Maybe it’s because I am sick, but I haven’t had any interest in coming the entire time I have been wild.  After I get better, will my libido return? Can Mrs. Lion breathe life back into it? I’m worried about that.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion is still trying to get over his cough. He was napping just before we left for my work picnic. He said I shouldn’t have let him sleep. Obviously he needed it and he was only out for less than an hour. I didn’t think it would interfere with his sleep at night. It didn’t.

When we got home from the picnic, we were both not feeling well. We’ve had this stomach thing too. It’s fine until we eat something and then it’s anyone’s guess if things will stay settled. It doesn’t matter if it’s bland food or not. Needless to say, we didn’t play last night either.

I feel bad. I mean there’s nothing either one of us can do if we don’t feel well, but I don’t want us to lose the ground we’ve covered. There’s no signs of that happening so far. I’m just looking forward to a time that we both feel well enough to resume normal activities. We still hold hands. Last night as we were each dealing with our demons, we were touching.

When Lion goes on his next business trip he will miss our anniversary. He feels bad about it. I feel bad that we’ll be apart for a week, but our anniversary is just one day out of the year. I think every day with Lion is special no matter what day it is. We’ll celebrate our anniversary before he leaves or even when he gets back. It doesn’t have to be on that exact day.

I could say I’m hoping we’ll play tonight. I’m actually just hoping Lion feels better soon. I think he’s in the home stretch. His cough does seem to be lessening. Play can take a back seat for a while longer. I know we’ll get back to it sooner or later. It’s too important not to.