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In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Rewards, Ruined orgasm

Last night Lion was horny. No surprise there. I edged him more than five times. I lost track. Toward the end I started back in on him before he was fully calmed down. That worked twice. The third time he had a ruined orgasm. Perfect! I wasn’t sure if I’d get the ruined orgasm or break him first, but either way would have been perfect. I got the benefit of having a Lion snack and he got the benefit of, well, I don’t know what his benefit was. I guess he got the benefit of not having to eat his semen. He’s still just as horny as ever. And he’s caged again. His sore spot looked better so I locked him away. It’s for the best when he’s this horny.

Afterwards, he rolled over and asked if I would mind making breakfast today. He wanted pancakes. I probably should have made him use another of his coupons, but sometimes I just want to be a wife and take care of him. He’s been craving pancakes almost as long as an orgasm. For whatever reason Lion loves both salad and pancakes (not together, of course), but he hates making them. I don’t really like salad or pancakes, so naturally I am the one who makes them most of the time. Makes perfect sense in a Lion sort of way.

So this morning Lion had fluffy pancakes made for him by his wife, not his top. I know he wants me to be in control, but sometimes I just want to be his wife. Not that I’m not always his wife. And this is where it gets complicated. Am I “just” his wife when he asks me to make pancakes and I make them? Am I still in control because I decide if I will do it without requiring him to use a coupon? Am I thinking too much? Probably. I tend to do that.

Yesterday we were talking about domestic discipline and Lion said some religions practice a form of it. The husband can punish the wife for her transgressions. In the same way, I suppose, you would punish a child for doing something wrong. Then later on in the day, he said something about a book he read a long time ago about a woman who punished her husband when he got drunk. It was at that moment that my stomach flipped and I got one of those what-the-hell-have-I-gotten-myself-into feelings. This was quickly followed by the realization that we are not black and white. We do not tend to go to the extreme with power and punishment.

I am in charge and if I want to do Lion a favor without requiring a coupon, I can do that. I’m always his wife. And this wife always has her husband’s best interests at heart.

By:
In: Lion's Journal
phone home screen
Using a handy app, my phone’s home screen shows my chastity status. I see how many days I have been caged, how many days to go until my next orgasm, and how long since my last one. It is inspirational and a bit humiliating.

Thursday night Mrs. Lion teased me and gave me a ruined orgasm. This one was different from the few I have had before. I had absolutely no sensation of orgasm, no tightening muscles or contraction that would bring up semen. It felt like I was edged and that Mrs. Lion had stopped just in time. But when she stopped, I could feel myself losing the erection. Then, a small amount of semen came out. It wasn’t the normal flow, but just a bit. Over the next few minutes a little more came out. I think  I could have another erection if Mrs. Lion wanted me to have one. There was absolutely no satisfaction, or for that matter very much frustration. Certainly, I was left as horny as I started. What an amazing exercise in control!

Mrs. Lion wrote that she plans to give me a lot of these. I imagine she will perfect her technique for maximum frustration with no satisfaction. She is well on her way. I think that a few more touches would have perfected it. A good part of my reaction I’m sure has to do with the fact that I have been distracted by my job search. What’s most important is that she has begun to master this very frustrating exercise in male control. Speaking of that, after the ruined orgasm, I asked if I could remain uncaged. I have a sore area where I must have caught the base ring. She agreed but said that she would attach my shock collar in case I needed reminding to keep my hands away.

For me, at least, a ruined orgasm is much more powerful if I have been edged a bunch of times before she pushes me just over the edge. In our ruined orgasm video, I’ve noticed a technique that looks interesting. When the male is very close, instead of continuing the normal masturbation strokes, the woman uses a single finger to stimulate that very erotic spot just below the head. Ruined orgasms are even more challenging for me if I believe that this time I will be allowed to enjoy a complete orgasm. I can feel myself getting ready and then, Wham! the stimulation stops and, well you know the rest. Mrs. Lion lets me ooze for a bit and then back in my cage, sometimes covered in my own semen. Usually, however, the semen is carefully cleaned with Mrs. Lion’s finger and then either fed to me or she keeps it for herself.

Some people confuse ruined orgasm with male milking. They are not at all alike. Ruined orgasm exploits the male physical orgasm process. It supplies just enough stimulation to trigger ejaculation, but not enough for an orgasm. Milking is passive on the male’s part. He is on hands and knees. His top uses a finger or a device to massage his prostate. That causes the prostate to release semen. There is no sexual sensation at all; just semen dripping out.

Why do these things? The simple answer is control, and fun for the keyholder.

 

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

I guess it should come as no surprise that sometimes domestic discipline comes more easily to me than other times. The other day when I thought Lion was going back to town to pick up my medicine after I told him not to, I was ready to punish him. This morning he forgot something when he made breakfast and I was willing to overlook it. It wasn’t a big deal. But it has to be.

In order for domestic discipline to work I need to be consistent. Not that those two circumstances require the same punishment, but they do require punishment. Forgetting a serving tool should not be the same as forgetting something I specifically asked for. Directly disobeying should have an even bigger punishment. If we assume that the punishment is spanking then he may get five somewhat hard whacks for the breakfast mishap. Forgetting the medicine got poor Lion somewhere in the vicinity of ten very hard swats. If he had gone back for the medicine after I told him not to, he may not be able to sit right now. The punishment should fit the crime.

However, I should explore different avenues of punishment. I’m not sure my pet will ever get used to very hard swats, but if he knows it’s “just” a spanking coming then he might not try so hard to remember things. I have to throw in a few extended waits and rescind a few play days to keep things interesting. On the other hand, I have to be careful not to include things that should not be seen as punishment. For example, I don’t want him to view diapers or girly toenails as punishment. They are just a way for me to exercise my control. Something to amuse me.

So not only do I have to be consistent, I have to be creative. I can do that. But I don’t think Lion will like it. Poor boy.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

A great deal of our recent posts have been on the subject of domestic discipline. We’ve both tried to explain how we feel about it. Probably why this is so front of mind lately is that Mrs. Lion has been rewarding me and most recently punishing me for things I have done. We’ve established that there are no clear behavioral issues that I need to correct. We’ve also established that Mrs. Lion doesn’t think in the context of reward and punishment. The main reason for this is that she doesn’t think in terms of having authority over me.

That’s not entirely true. She has come to accept sexual control. She’s very good at keeping me horny and not giving in when I just have to come. That, my dear lioness, is control. The much more difficult challenge is taking things out of the lion orgasm area and into more general parts of our lives. A year ago, it was a challenge for Mrs. Lion to get into a habit of teasing me between orgasms. It was also challenging to set and enforce orgasm dates. She conquered both.

The technique that seems to have worked best to help her is scheduling and sticking to the schedule. Mrs. Lion decided that she would tease me every other day. She has religiously followed this commitment. She has scheduled my orgasm dates far into the future. This assures that she doesn’t have to worry about what to do next. She can change them if she wants, but at the least she has a plan.

Over the last couple of weeks Mrs. Lion has given me two rewards: coupons for extra non-orgasmic play sessions. I love the rewards because  I love when she plays with me, but also because I know she appreciates some extra cooking that I have done. It’s the best sort of positive reinforcement. Last week, when I forgot to run an errand she asked me to do, she punished me with a spanking for forgetting. This is also a great move. I didn’t like the spanking, but I like that Mrs. Lion cares enough to discipline me.

Here we are in February, a year after we started, with a new challenge. Domestic discipline is a bit different than enforced chastity, but it has some of the same characteristics:

  1. It’s different than anything we have done before. Yes, Mrs. Lion has spanked me many times, even on occasion for breaking a rule. But those spankings weren’t rooted in real discipline. The same is true of rewards. That’s new too. Like enforced chastity, discipline has no context in our current lives.
  2. This is unnatural for Mrs. Lion. She never considered controlling my sexual fun and she never considered having power over my day-to-day life.
  3. New behaviors and ways of thinking are required. After a year, enforced chastity is second nature to us both and we have happily incorporated it into our lives. Domestic discipline requires a new way to think and act.

We built good habits and created a long-term, working enforced chastity relationship. It took some “artificial” techniques, like scheduling teases, but it worked. Mrs. Lion likes to hear I am horny. She no longer considers that a demand for release. She’s learned that this is exactly what I asked her to do.

I think we need to build a framework to help us learn domestic discipline. We know enough about each other to know that leaving things open-ended will doom us to letting things taper off. Enforced chastity worked because the chastity device was a continual reminder that we had things we needed to do. We communicated daily about chastity and eventually worked out our current activities. I think we need to do the same thing with our domestic discipline. As I see it, there is a list of things that need to happen for it to work.

My behavior, good and bad, needs to be tracked. Mrs. Lion can’t reward or punish me without reasons. I think that means we need to become more aware of what I do and what I miss. This could become a nightmare until we develop the habits we need to incorporate domestic discipline in our lives. I’m sure Mrs. Lion would hate to make detailed lists of each and every thing she expects me to do. I am not fond of that either. Instead, I think we should evolve into this form of authority.

While it is good to have rules, I do like them, they are way too much trouble all the time. Instead, I suggest that Mrs. Lion not worry whether or not I was told to do or not do something. She should expect me to know what I need to do to please her. Just because there isn’t a rule that I should make the bed neatly doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t discipline me if it isn’t neat, or for that matter, reward me for doing an extra good job. She just needs to become aware of what I am doing and react appropriately. There is no such thing as an unfair punishment. After all, there is no rule that I cook, but when I did a lot, I got rewarded. Well, what if I had the chance and didn’t cook, don’t I deserve to be punished? I don’t have to be asked to do something before it becomes discipline-eligible. It just has to be a lapse on my part. The punishments and rewards will teach me what is good lion behavior, and what is bad. It has nothing to do with fairness.

I suggest that rewards can be small. They don’t have to be extra play sessions. Little things are nice too. There are a lot of possible punishments, but since this is a difficult area, maybe we should start with only one: spanking. Mrs. Lion isn’t going to be in the mood to punish me each time I err. So, we need a way to keep track. I suggest that she give me that responsibility. Make it my job to keep the record. So, if she sees something that I didn’t do as well as I should, she can just say, “Add 10 swats to the list.” I’ll add that to a little list. When punishment day arrives, I can produce the list and she can administer it.

Like teasing, we can have scheduled punishment days. Maybe like teasing it is every other day, or maybe every third day, or every Wednesday and Saturday. She can, of course, punish on the spot if that is what she prefers. It’s just like or teasing and orgasm schedule. It’s a framework to help us learn.

The big trick will be learning to judge my behavior. I suggest that Mrs. Lion consider finding at least one naughty thing a day. She is very good at finding things to reward. Since all she has to do is tell me and I will keep track, it won’t interrupt her other activities. This even can work in public. If I do something that needs correction, she can just look at me and say “Ten.” I’ll make a note. Once Mrs. Lion gets into this habit, or even before she does, she can do different punishments as she wishes.