By:
In: Keyholder, Mrs Lion Comments
lion in his sling
Here is lion in his sling. As you can see it gives me excellent access to all his naughty bits. Click this picture for full color, explicit shots of Lion in his sling.

We had Chinese food and one of us got a fortune that said we’d have fun this weekend. Lion’s mind went straight to sex as it often does. Mine did too. I bet he was thinking, “Woo Hoo! I’ll get spanked or flogged or something great!” I was thinking, “Now I have to figure out what to do to him.” The thing is, I already had an idea.

For weeks I’ve been telling him we’ll use his sling. It’s probably the best of all worlds. His hands and feet are bound. I can reach everything. If I want to spank him his butt is front and center. I have easy access to his ass for dildos. His balls are  begging for attention. I can lick him or suck him. It’s like an amusement park for a top! The hardest part is getting him in and out of it.

Now I’m back to my original dilemma. What do I do with him once he’s helpless? With a cabinet full of toys and torture devices I shouldn’t have too much trouble coming up with something. I might even throw in a blindfold to change things up. It all depends on how creative I’m feeling.

I’m sure Lion will have some suggestions. I don’t mind. Sometimes he gets what he asks for and sometimes he gets a little more than he bargained for.

[I think Mrs. Lion has excellent ideas for sling activities. In the past she did extensive anal play. It’s been a long time since I have had much exercise there, but I am sure I can get back into condition again for her – Lion]

By:
In: Male Chastity

One of the key aspects of my forced chastity fantasy is being required to please my keyholder. I just love the idea of her demanding me to service her. I fear this is one fantasy aspect that will be very difficult to make real. The biggest reason is that I genuinely want to please Mrs. Lion with or without the cage. This really came home to me when I got an email from her this afternoon (she and I exchange text messages and emails all the time). She wrote that she was sorry we aren’t together because she was feeling a bit horny. My instant reply was that I can cure that condition after we are home.

I thought about that exchange a bit and realized that all either of us has to do is express a wish and the other will move heaven and earth to make it come true.This goes way beyond sex or forced chastity. It is just how we relate to one another. She and I have very different takes on how this works out. I try to be careful about saying what I want because I don’t want to make her sad if she can’t fulfill it. She avoids asking for anything partly out of her past relationship where she was made to feel bad about her choices, and partly because she doesn’t want me to go out of my way. She also has a lifelong unwillingness to expect anything. This is based on the premise that if you don’t ever expect anything, you won’t be disappointed. That issue has probably caused us the most difficulty.

My fantasy involves a stern Mrs. Lion demanding me to do things for and to her. Well, Mrs. Lion is not stern and is never demanding. I really don’t want her to change. My fantasy would be fulfilled if instead of demanding, she just expressed desires or wishes and let me be her magic genie making them come true. I know this is very hard for her. A wish is, after all, an expectation of sorts. Similarly, it’s very difficult for her to even imagining making rules for me and enforcing them. She is entirely too sweet.

I truly don’t want her to turn into someone else. We just need to be creative and work out ways to make us both happy. For example, sending me an afternoon email expressing that she is horny is absolutely perfect for me. She may be expressing an observation and knows that it will make me happy to learn about it. I, on the other hand, see it as an opportunity to serve my true love and keyholder. It’s a win-win.

As you’ve read in our prior posts, we don’t necessarily view the same events in the same way. This is a perfect case in point. We definitely see her observation differently. She told me how she was feeling with no expectation that I would do anything about it. I read it as a wish I could make come true. We are both right.

Mrs. Lion has been working very hard to be the top and keyholder I want and need. I am incredibly grateful for her efforts. I, in turn, am learning to use her communications as my keyholder’s wish to her lion. I know she didn’t intend that and would be perfectly happy if i didn’t react as a wish-granter. But it makes me very happy to be able to provide pleasure for her.

Years ago when I had a full-time slave (submissive – she self-identified as a slave) we both observed that it’s impossible to be a stern master and be in love with his slave. It’s true. People in love just want to make each other happy. It has nothing to do with selfishness, value exchanges or anything else. We just get joy by pleasing each other. A fantasy keyholder is a distant, strict, impartial owner of her chaste male’s sexuality. My wife isn’t any of those things. We both know that. But out of love for me she is willing to take on as much of that role as she can because it makes me happy. Isn’t that great?

Fortunately, I am not looking for that distant dominatrix who controls all of my life and supervises my every action. I want sexual control. It doesn’t have to be mean or unrelenting. It can be a fun part of our sex life and nothing more. In her Thursday post she explained her take on getting something in return for locking me up. It’s worth reading if you haven’t. She summed up exactly what it means to top someone you love.

I am a very lucky lion, indeed.

By:
In: Keyholder, Male Control (training), Punishment
finger pointing and the word no
Lion says he wants more rules and punishments. I’ve just found a new rule that will improve our dining pleasure.

Lion keeps saying maybe he should be careful what he asks for. He wants more rules and more punishment. Whether he intends to or not, he gives me ideas all the time. He is not topping from the bottom. He’s just having a conversation.

It bothers me when Lion interrupts me. He does get swatted and zapped for that. But I’ve found something else that bothers me. My usually polite pet can be quite rude at times. For example, he’s very particular about what he wants on his hamburger. When he first orders he speaks slowly so the person can write it down or select it on the screen. If the person doesn’t get it on the first try, he speaks like he would speak to a child. Very slowly. Very deliberately. After multiple tries he gets frustrated and adds “moron” to the end of the request. I don’t think Lion ever worked in fast food, or any food service job. It’s a minimum wage job. Sometimes not even minimum wage if you are dependent on tips. For many of the fast food workers, at least around here, English is not their first language. They are only trying to get his order correct. And, I’ve worked in fast food and read books, you don’t piss off the person who is making your food. Who knows what they’ll do to it. (We used to nuke flies in the microwave when I worked at Burger King in high school. Just for the hell of it. Not in retaliation. But it gives you an idea of what goes on in the kitchen.)

He is also rude to customer service and retail people. He starts out fine and then gets frustrated. Again, I don’t think he ever worked in that capacity. Having worked in retail for a number of years, I can tell you that we try to be helpful, but the second you become condescending we see that you’re a moron and we give moron right back to you.

At any rate, his being rude to people in the service industries drives me crazy. Especially the food. I’m ordering at the same time, man. I don’t want hair in my food! So from now on Lion will be zapped or swatted when this occurs. Fair warning, my pet.

By:
In: Keyholder101, Lion's Journal
stop sign
Understanding your male’s reactions are critical to safe play.

Safewords are used to give the bottom (caged male) an emergency switch to immediately stop what is happening. For example, if during a spanking the bottom suddenly gets a chest pain, he can use the safeword to immediately stop the spanking, get released from bondage, and get help. The intention is recognition that the bottom must have some control to prevent injury; physical or psychological. Safewords also give the top some comfort in knowing that the bottom can scream, shout “No!” and make other protests without causing the top to have to analyze whether these complaints are real or part of the bottom’s enjoyment of the experience. Obviously, if the bottom uses the safeword, the top must immediately stop the action and aid the bottom.

Unfortunately, safewords aren’t enough. In three decades of topping and dungeon monitoring I have never had a bottom use a safeword. In that same time I have stopped many scenes because the bottom was clearly in distress. Why didn’t the bottom safeword? There are several reasons why the safeword isn’t reliable.

The main problem is what some people call “sub space”. This is a condition that bottoms, runners, athletes, and others who endure physical stress experience. As part of the “fight or flight” reflexes all humans have, endorphins, a brain harmone, is released when the body feels this stress. Endorphins mask pain and create a pleasant kind of euphoria. This is sub space. For some it’s addictive. If during play the stimulation is slowly increased, endorphin production will keep pace and the bottom will enjoy the stimulation. That’s why “warm up” is generally practiced; gently spanking or otherwise stimulating the bottom to build endorphins that will allow the bottom to take more later.

As a keyholder top, you need to be aware of this endorphin process. Since your caged male will be unable to accurately report any possible injury or stress, you need to understand the signs so you can control your stimulation and know when you might need to stop. Here is a list of things to do and observe that will help you keep your play safe:

  • If you use bondage, every few minutes feel the bottom’s hands and feet. If they are cold, circulation may be cut off.  Also note the color. If the hands or feet look a bit blue, that also can signal circulation problems. This can happen even with loose bondage. Thrashing and pulling on the bonds can cut off circulation. Feel the hands and feet immediately after you restrain them. That will give you a baseline. If later they feel colder, it’s time to stop for a bit and assure that circulation is ok.
  • Sweating is often a sign of stress. Assuming the room isn’t too hot, if your bottom starts to sweat, it may mean that he is feeling physical stress. Frequently the sweat will appear on the back and under the arms. Sometimes it will have an unpleasant smell. If this happens, you may not need to stop, but you should be much more sensitive to other signs. Reducing the level of stimulation for a bit can help too.
  • Heavy breathing is also a sign of stress. Panting is frequently a sign of stress. Ask the male if he is ok. If he can answer in a way that indicates he is aware of what is going on, you can trust his reply. If he sounds sleepy or incoherent, it means that he is on an endorphin trip and his answers can not be trusted.

Many bottoms consider an endorphin high as the main reason they like a top to stimulate them painfully. People do not react the same way to endorphins. I had a friend who would fall asleep almost immediately after getting spanked or flogged. He was unresponsive for a half hour or so and just needed to be covered and allowed to sleep it off. I don’t slip very far into sub space. I can actually enjoy spanking or flogging. What hurt horribly in the beginning starts to feel good. At that point I would never use a safeword. I am having fun.

As a top, you need to decide what you want your caged male to experience. If you want to spank him and make him feel every swat, then start hard and fast and increase stimulation before his endorphins can catch up. He will hate that. Of course, that is the objective of punishment. If you are playing, then start softly and build slowly. It takes me about ten or fifteen minutes before my endorphin level is high enough for me to enjoy hard swats. Also, if you use a paddle, the sensation is more sting. Sting isn’t well masked by endorphins. A flogger or a heavy strap is more “thud” and stimulates endorphin production more quickly. Ever wonder why some people like to be punctured with needles? For some, just one needle stick will induce an endorphin high.

What about bruises? Most males will bruise at one time or another. They are not a danger sign in and of themselves. In fact, well placed bruises on the lower half of the butt will provide a lasting reminder of your spanking every time he sits. One important rule is never hit a bruise. Even if you have to stop your activities, you must avoid re injuring a bruised spot. Another no-no is to hit an area that doesn’t have good padding; muscle or fat. Spanking the penis also has a few rules too. The erectile tissue (the shaft) should never be hit when he is hard. That tissue is very easy to damage. However, the penis head is fair game at any time. It also has the benefit of being very sensitive so it won’t take much effort to get a big reaction. Balls may be spanked too. Avoid heavy hitting objects. You need to protect the testes (balls) from deep injury. They are tough but need care when stimulated. His reaction will be a good sign. If he gets nauseous that is a sign you may be hitting too hard. Take your time and learn how he reacts. By the way, most males react much more to penis spanking than butt swats. It is an area no man expects to be spanked.

Most important is to start gently and observe your caged male’s reactions to stimulation. Take your time. Safe play depends on understanding your male and the way he reacts to various stimuli If you can, see if there are workshops in your area conducted by local leather organizations on spanking and other topping and bottoming topics. Seeing a demo and talking with experienced people is a great way to learn. Most important, have fun!.