It Actually Works!
Change is a sneaky critter. It often bites you when your attention is elsewhere. My focus on our FLR with discipline has been on how things happen. I’ve looked at the intensity, or lack of it, of my punishments. I’ve thought about the implications of not wearing a chastity device. I’ve considered how submissive I do or don’t feel. The one thing I haven’t looked at is the objective results of our power exchange.
We are starting our fifth year in this adventure. There’s been a lot of progress. In the early years, it was about what we wanted and how we could do it. You can read back posts to learn about our trials and tribulations. Most of them were about technique. I admit that I missed the most significant aspect of our power exchange: it’s working.
I have a few rules. I’m not to spill food on my shirt. I have to wait for Mrs. Lion to eat before I do. I’m not to interrupt. I’m to be naked at home, and I may never masturbate. The food-spilling rule was designed to give us numerous chances to observe an infraction and then punish it. It worked very well that way. I was punished almost every week. I’m not the neatest eater.
That’s changed. I didn’t consciously set out to avoid getting food on my shirt. I never wanted to do that. It just seemed to happen. Weeks can go by without a spill. Similarly, again without conscious effort, I wait for Mrs. Lion to eat first or give me permission to start. I rarely miss. Weeks can go by without a punishment. It isn’t because Mrs. Lion isn’t observant. She is. I’m just not breaking those rules.
I don’t think it’s fear of punishment. Mrs. Lion’s spankings sting but are short and well within my ability to manage them. Apparently that doesn’t matter. They are effective. I’m being conditioned to follow my rules. The key is consistent enforcement. I think that the spankings focus my attention on my error. I subconsciously want to correct it; and I do. I’m being trained!
This was my fantasy. But I never imagined reality could actually fulfill it. It did without my conscious help. Holy crap!
I havn’t needed correction for being naked at home. I just can’t imagine anything else.
I don’t masturbate. I haven’t since January 2014 when I did it while Mrs. Lion watched. I’ve wanted to do it, but I don’t. It’s conditioned out of my sexual vocabulary.
I have one rule that isn’t enforced: interrupting. I still do it. Again, it isn’t conscious disobedience. I just do it.
I think our current state is Lions 2.0. We’ve successfully proven enforced chastity and FLR with discipline. I’m very surprised at how successful we are. It’s time to consider 3.0. This, in my view, is where we use the proven techniques to further enhance my behavior and obedience.
Now that punishment is fairly rare, I suggest that when I do need it, Mrs. Lion should be much more severe. I think that dialing up intensity will have two benefits: it will provide me with a much more memorable experience and should speed conditioning, and it will improve my ability to submit.
Lioness 3.0 might want to enforce interrupting with the same consistency she has shown dealing with my other rules. I really want to be conditioned to stop doing this. It will help me in a lot of situations outside of home.
Speaking of severity, I think it’s time to deal much more severely with repeat offenses. There’s no question that over time I will “forget” a rule now and then. I’m not suggesting those offenses get the most severe punishment. They just need a strong reminder to recharge my obedience. However, repeating an offense only a short time after being corrected needs much more serious attention.
That is a big change for us. I’m curious to see how that will change the way I am trained. I’ve read that this is the traditional way to handle such things. I suggest we find out if it works for us. I also suggest that we consider some new rules to further refine my behavior. Mrs. Lion and I can discuss possibilities.
It’s fair to consider the end game of all this. Is the objective to turn me into a obedient submissive who surrenders decisions to his partner? I don’t think so. Neither of us wants this. Should we consider my training a serious part of our relationship? I have mixed feelings here. In my view from the bottom, I think that the FLR with discipline needs to be treated seriously. After all, we don’t want that to be our BDSM play. But I don’t want this to make or break for our marriage.
If, for some reason, we decide to stop or reduce the level of 3.0’s authority, I don’t want that to hurt our relationship. We will be together for the rest of our lives. I suspect that the paddle and punishments will always be there too. We have passed the point of no return. But our love is first. Anything else is a poor second.
Note: I had not read Mrs. Lion’s post for yesterday when I wrote this. She hadn’t seen mine either. Great minds.
Rule Change
I’ve been thinking about a new rule for Lion. It may even break into two rules depending on how it works out. There are actually two issues. Both involve TV.
In general, Lion watches what Lion wants to watch. I let him. In the past I’ve gone to play games on my computer while he watches shows he likes to watch that I don’t like to watch. He doesn’t like when I leave him alone like that so I’ve been staying with him and just not really paying attention to the show.
The problem is that there are shows I like to watch that Lion doesn’t like to watch. So I don’t watch them. There are some things on our DVR that I wanted to watch so I recorded them, but I don’t get a chance to watch them. The few times I’ve watched something I like that he doesn’t, he leaves the room. I don’t mind. If he doesn’t like the show he shouldn’t sit through it. But it does seem like a double standard that he can leave and he doesn’t like when I leave.
I don’t want this to be a bigger deal than it is. It’s obviously not killing me that I can’t watch those few shows. It’s just an annoying thing. Having said that, Lion has announced that he doesn’t want to watch the Super Bowl because he hates both teams. Me too! But what if I want to watch? P.S. I’m watching whether he does or not. [Lion – Actually, I do want to watch the Super Bowl. I just don’t like either team.]
That was the minor issue. The other issue is when he tells people on TV that they’re idiots. He knows they can’t hear him so that’s not the problem. It usually happens when he doesn’t like a show as much as I do. Or when he’s making fun of local newscasters. No, we aren’t in New York City anymore and the talent here is not as good. But also, the NYC newscasters screw up from time to time too.
We both make fun of commercials but when Lion makes comments in the middle of a show it’s distracting. And, more importantly, it’s just not good Lion behavior. A rude Lion should be punished. Right? Right.
So the two changes to Lion’s rules are thus: I should get to watch shows I want to watch with minimal push back from him. And he should be punished for rude remarks he makes at the TV. (He has a similar rule that is not often enforced. He should get punished for rude remarks he makes to fast food workers and anyone else he encounters in public.)
This should keep both of us busy for a while.
Me And My Penis
The main “object” in male chastity is the penis, not the chastity device. I think that reality often escapes us with our excitement about wearing chastity hardware. Sure, we spend a lot of time discussing how our keyholders think about our cocks, but I rarely see anything about how the guy feels about it.
I like my penis. It always had a special place in my heart. I like how it looks and how it feels when it gets attention. I can’t think of a time when I felt any negative feelings about it. I thought that all other guys feel the same way. Now I’m not so sure.
The erect penis is an obvious symbol of sexual power. Societies, from ancient times to the present, make liberal use of this symbol. I have to admit that I never equated my cock with power; just with pleasure. My view, once again, colors my perception of male chastity.
If, for example, a guy thinks of his cock as a way to wield power over a woman, and he wants to surrender to her, it stands to reason that a chastity device will enslave his symbol of power to his keyholder’s wishes. In this case, the locked cock instills a strong feeling of submission. This is a powerful incentive for him to want to be locked as part of his submission.
Another possible case is if the man doesn’t like his penis. Maybe he wronged his partner by cheating, or feels guilty about expressing his sexuality. Whatever the case, the chastity device essentially removes his penis. He likes that it is effectively gone. If his partner wants to use it for her pleasure, he can rationalize that it is a toy she likes. He, on the other hand, remains safely divorced from it.
I’m sure there are lots of other possibilities when it comes to the connection between a guy and his cock. My point is that it is helpful to know why you want to be locked up. In my case, it was giving Mrs. Lion my favorite toy. My chastity turns sex into a gift from her. I can’t enjoy it without her. I like giving her this fleshy gift.
What is your relationship with your cock? How does enforced chastity reflect that relationship?
Meanwhile on the home front, last night, Mrs. Lion was feeling a bit better but still stuffy. I was tired. Neither of us has been getting enough sleep. I begged off the butt plug. Hopefully, she will repeat her offer later this week. We’re both tired of being under the weather. It doesn’t help that our weather is consistently rainy. It’s true, the temperature is between 40 and 50 deg. F day and night. That’s nice; but the lack of sun is getting to me.
Plugged
I spoke too soon. Perhaps I did not escape my cold unscathed. It’s hanging on. I want to go back to sleep. Lion was still all stuffy this morning too. We just want to be under the blankets together. Of course we always want that.
I’m thinking just because I may not feel well enough to do anything, it doesn’t mean we can’t do anything. It depends if Lion feels up to things too. But I think perhaps he can handle a butt plug tonight. Because he’s been sick I will give him the option of postponing the festivities. We can start out with the small Njoy tonight or whenever he feels up to it. Then we can move up to the larger Njoy. He’s been able to handle fairly large dildos in the past so the larger Njoy probably isn’t much of a stretch. Pun intended.
I usually forget that I can shove a butt plug into Lion even on nights I don’t feel up to doing anything else. It still shows him who’s in charge with minimal effort. I wouldn’t do it if I just didn’t feel like playing. That feels like a cop out. I don’t want him to feel that I’m bored with playing but here’s a consolation prize.
On the other hand, I don’t see anything wrong with putting the butt plug in and still playing with him. I know it makes things more difficult for him when he’s plugged. All the clenching he does in anticipation of coming is complicated by the plug. An orgasm doesn’t feel quite as nice. It’s a good thing he likes a little pain with his pleasure.
