A New Lesson Learned
Thursday night’s spanking marks a significant change in our marriage. Yes, for well over two years, Mrs. Lion has spanked me for punishment. The punishments were almost exclusively for behavioral rules she made for me. Rules like not spilling food on my shirt or being sure Mrs. Lion eats first, taught us how to incorporate punishment into our relationship. I also have a rule not to interrupt. It annoys Mrs. Lion when I do. She rarely punishes me for that.
However, all of these rules are behavioral and nonthreatening to her. She can objectively enforce them. When Mrs. Lion is actually angry at me, she withdraws. I notice and ask her if she’s upset, and she will tell me she is. The anger stays bottled up inside her. But not on Thursday. We both wrote about the small incident that finally lit the lioness’ fuse. That’s way less interesting than how she decided to deal with her growing annoyance.
During her shower, we both tend to do our best thinking there, she thought about what’s making her angry. She decided that she needed to let me know how she feels. After her shower, without saying a word, she went to her collection of paddles and selected one. She came over to me. Of course I saw what was in her hand.
She asked me about reminding her about Thursday being punishment day. I admitted I didn’t. I thought that was why she had her paddle. But it wasn’t. She then went on to tell me how I upset her over the past week. Then she gave me a stronger spanking than usual. I was angry she wanted to spank me. I was in no mood for punishment. That didn’t matter at all. She went to work and went on for some time. She started fairly softly and built up slowly until I was yelping and kicking.
This is truly a sea change for us as a couple. Mrs. Lion forcefully expressed her anger toward me. The punishment seemed to reduce her frustration level. I wasn’t immediately repentant. She had to remind me to thank her for beating me. I did. But I wasn’t a happy camper. This was different. After a while, I settled down and we held hands.
It wasn’t the intensity of the beating that upset me. It was the complete independence of Mrs. Lion in unilaterally punishing me for something that was not a rule. I didn’t think it was unfair. I just didn’t like it at all. I know. I wasn’t supposed to like it. But maybe there was a step missing. I think a hug and asking me if I’m sorry would have helped. I didn’t know if I was forgiven. I just knew I pissed off my lioness.
I’m very sure that this isn’t the last time I will feel her wrath for upsetting her. She informed me in an email that I’m on a short leash. For the record, I’m happy she is doing this. It’s much better for both of us to have her punish me then forgive me. It puts us back on an even keel. Sooner or later I will learn how to behave better. Either that or I will be living with a red butt. That may sound hot, but it isn’t. I just have to learn to be more considerate and less self-involved. Mrs. Lion will teach me.
It Ends Now!
Last week Lion had enough of my iPad use. It probably was too much. At the time I didn’t counter with his TV use. If he’s awake, the TV is on. Sometimes when he’s asleep the TV is on. But that wasn’t the issue. The day he wrote the post he said (in an email) that he was at the end of his rope. A bit overly dramatic but I got the idea.
For the past week he’s been, from my point of view, antagonistic toward me. He was upset when I was meeting up with a friend over the weekend. He swears he wasn’t upset about that but he was clearly upset. Almost everything I did resulted in some sort of grumbling. I’m still dealing with a cold and I’ve been really tired. No matter how much sleep I get I’m still tired. So his grumbling was getting on my nerves.
Last night I was tired and I was laying on the bed playing a game on the iPad (he was watching TV and had been home for a while) when he asked if we were eating in or going out. I was confused. We’d decided on pancakes. It’s true we could have gone out but I assumed we’d be eating in. I asked if he was hungry. He said he was a little. I asked if he wanted to make the pancakes or if he wanted me to make them. He got upset.
Clearly, if I’d wanted to make them I wouldn’t have asked him if he wanted me to make them. (Really?) I just want to lounge around playing on the iPad. (I just walked through the door ten minutes earlier.) I can’t expect him to make dinner every night. He has a job too, you know. And he has a big report due with a major fire burning too. (He’s made dinner because he’s been working from home and has offered to make dinner. I never expected him to do anything. And I knew about the fire but not the big report. I don’t read minds.) Forget it, he’ll just make dinner. Again.
Oh, no. Nope. Uh uh. He was not going to play the I-do-everything-around-here card with me. I told him I’d do it. He said he’d do it. We went back and forth for a few minutes and then I told him to get out of the way. I’d make dinner. He said he’d feel guilty and continued to make dinner. By the time I got out of the shower I’d decided his moodiness ended then. And I couldn’t remember if he’d told me it was punishment day. Not that I needed an excuse to punish him, nor did I need a specific night to punish him. It just added fuel to the fire.
I told him he’d disobeyed by not getting out of my way so I could make dinner. I didn’t care how guilty he’d feel if he “let” me make dinner. I didn’t care if he wanted to be punished or not. At that point it was all I could do to not whomp him as hard as I could. A few days ago he said my punishments have been moderate. Not last night. He was squirming and screaming but I wasn’t stopping. I was tired of him making me feel like everything I’m doing was wrong. I hope his bright red cheeks were enough to snap him out of whatever funk he’s been in. Otherwise, I have plenty of paddles left.
Textbook Spousal Discipline
Last night Mrs. Lion had enough. We had a mild argument about who should cook dinner. It wasn’t really about who should cook. It was about my reaction to her question about who was going to make pancakes. I interpreted her question as her wanting me to cook. This is what triggered the upset. She said that she was willing to cook. I went to the kitchen and began making pancakes. She got the griddle and the pancake mix, so we both did part of the cooking.
After dinner, Mrs. Lion took her shower. She emerged clean and clearly upset. She got a paddle from her collection. She asked me if I had reminded her it was punishment day. I’m supposed to do that every Monday and Thursday. I hadn’t. She then went on to tell me that she was tired of me being upset with her. She said that earlier in the week I complained about her constant iPad game playing. Now, I grumbled about cooking dinner. I needed a spanking.
She proceeded to spank me. I still have a little sore spot. When she was done, she asked me if this was a”moderate” spanking. I had commented in an earlier post that her spankings tended to be moderate. My mom didn’t raise any stupid cubs. I said, “Oh no. That was much more than moderate.”
Over the course of the evening she repeated the question. In fairness, this spanking was more severe than usual. It lasted longer and really made me yelp.
I was very unhappy when she brought out the paddle. The last thing I wanted at that moment was to be punished. Of course, 2.0 paid no attention to my lack of interest. Fair enough. She was less grumpy after punishing me. I wasn’t particularly cheerful. As the evening wore on, the bad feelings wore off and we held hands and chatted amicably,
We have very few occasions like this. I can’t remember when or if Mrs. Lion ever spanked me because I pissed her off. In a very real way, this was a landmark. It also proved a point about disciplinary spanking. Mrs. Lion spanked me because she felt angry at the way I was behaving. It wasn’t really because I forgot to tell her it was punishment day. It was because I upset her. That’s absolutely valid.
After the spanking, the storm clouds blew away. My punishment sent both of us a message that the beating resolved the bad feelings we both had. I’m surprised that worked. I’ve heard that punishment can resolve upsets and wipe the slate clean. I don’t remember ever experiencing it for myself.
There was nothing staged or scene-like last night. It was textbook spousal discipline. It worked.
Leave Nothing to Chance
I decided yesterday that I shouldn’t leave Lion’s night to chance. Rather than have him pick from the Box O’Fun and probably be stuck with the tiny little clothes pins, I’d guarantee him a play spanking. He’d get rosy Valentine’s cheeks with my new paddle. He was happy with that decision.
It’s been a long time since he’s had a play spanking. It is one of the selections that’s doubled or tripled up in the box but so far he’s been picking other things. Now that I’ve made sure he doesn’t get evil things, he’ll probably pick spanking on Friday. Oh well. He won’t argue with that. He loves being spanked.
Lion also got a Valentine’s orgasm. Yes I know, he got an orgasm the other day. [Lion — two days ago] So? He certainly doesn’t mind getting them. The only problem I can see with it is that now I’m behind the eight ball as far as orgasm statistics are concerned. I wanted to give him more oral orgasms this year than hand jobs. The good news is that Lion has some more oral orgasms in his future. Lucky boy! [Lion — as of yesterday, it was 60% hand jobs and 40% oral]
I was bad after his orgasm. I looked at something on my iPad for one of our camping trips. I forgot to tell Lion to put his ring back on. He was a good boy and asked me if I wanted him locked up. I do. I want him locked up whether he wants to be locked up or not. He can grumble (within reason) but it won’t help him at all. The other night when he said he didn’t want to be locked up I told him it sounded like a personal problem to me. His wanting or not wanting to be locked up does not affect me. I’ve made my decision.
