Further Changes?
The entire idea of enforced male chastity is not something most men and almost all women ever think about. Imagine, using some sort of device to deny a man any sexual access to his penis. What sort of guy would want that? Me, for one. I do understand how absurd this concept has to appear to people who never heard of it before.
Until about fifteen years ago, it was exceedingly difficult and expensive to actually lock your penis up. The invention of the CB2000 started a tiny revolution. Practical, inexpensive chastity devices started becoming available. The expansion of the internet and Google, let guys discover this kink in the privacy of their own homes. That’s how I found it.
I bring all this back because I have been thinking about how things have changed for me. I started out by buying and testing devices. At one point, I found one that seemed wearable. Most pinched or hurt after only a few minutes. Anyway, I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me into it. I explained what I had been reading and imagining. It was the standard keyholder fantasy. Fortunately, over time, we worked out our own brand of enforced chastity. It’s been evolving for over four years.
Initially, I was worried about security. I don’t know why. I wanted to be locked up, why would I try to escape? The fantasies say security is critical because if a guy gets too horny, he will do anything to ejaculate. I’ve never been too horny, I guess. The simple fact is that the more secure a chastity device, the less comfortable it is. And, for 24/7 wearing, comfort is king.
I’ve always known that Mrs. Lion has kept me locked up because I wanted her to do it. As recently as yesterday, she made reference to that in her post. She made it clear that she was frustrated with my ambivalence about being locked up. She pointed out that I wanted to be locked up again, then I expressed happiness at being wild. She’s right. I can be ambivalent. I love how simple life is with no cage. Then, I miss the comfort of being locked up.
The truth is that the day has long passed when I just wanted to be locked in a device. After four years of being locked in one, I do miss it when it is off. But I also like being wild. What makes the big difference to me is how Mrs. Lion feels about me being locked up. In the past, I mentioned how I thought of my chastity device like a wedding ring; a symbol of my commitment to Mrs. Lion. That’s sort of true. But it’s not close to the whole story.
The strongest incentive I have to wanting to be in a chastity device is knowing that it means something to my lioness. I admit that I don’t have a real choice about whether or not I am locked up. That’s not what I mean. Wearing the device has real meaning to me when I know that Mrs. Lion really wants me to wear it.
I know for sure that no woman wants her man to wear a chastity device to be sure he won’t cheat or masturbate if he isn’t allowed that release. She expects him to be honest and loyal. Hardware is not the sort of reassurance any woman wants. Mrs. Lion knows I’m not going wandering or will play with myself whether or not I have steel between my hand and my cock.
I hope she has me locked up because having me wear a chastity device is of value to her. Yes, I know that part of the reason will always be because I asked for it. But I want the major reason for keeping me in the Jail Bird is because it does something for her.
The other night, and in her post yesterday, she said she likes me locked up because it makes her feel that I belong to her. I depend on her. I do, in a very obvious, physical way. I may be able to pull out of the device, but getting my penis out still leaves thecage dangling from my balls. I can’t get them out without being unlocked. The keys are in a safe that I can’t open. She has physical control over my (her) penis.
Over the last four years she had physical control. But she said that she had me locked because I wanted it. I knew that if I wanted to be wild again, all I had to do was ask. I had to be wild for my surgery and recovery. When I felt better, Mrs. Lion asked if I wanted to stay wild. I said yes. So, I remained wild until a few weeks ago. I let Mrs. Lion know I missed the cage, but I didn’t want to be locked in again unless she wanted me caged.
OK, that was a bit of a set up. She knew I wanted to be caged again. She agreed to do it. After a couple of weeks, she locked me up again. Predictably, I had some second thoughts; most recently last weekend. I was allowed to be wild because of the power failure. On Sunday, after the power was back, she locked me up. I expressed regret that I wouldn’t be wild again. She said I was going back in the cage because it makes her feel she owns me.
I’m not sure that’s completely true. I hope it is, but I’m skeptical. I know she wants me to be happy and she knows that I’ve always wanted her to feel that I belong to her. What’s a lion to think?
Knock It Off
Lion hasn’t been horny lately. Maybe it’s the orgasms spaced so closely together. Maybe it’s the power outage. Maybe it’s even his punishment on Thursday. I’d hate to think it’s the latter.
I’ve unlocked him the past three nights and he hasn’t responded to me. I’ve left him wild for a few hours. Last night he said he hoped I was going to leave him wild. He said he wanted to be locked up. He said it was important for him to be locked up. Once I decided he should really be locked up he wants to be wild. I told him it was too bad. I’m keeping him locked up.
Last night he asked how I think about him in the cage. I know I overthink things a lot. Lion is the king of overthinking. I said I don’t think about the cage as much as he does but I think it makes me feel like he’s more dependent on me and like I own him. He seemed happy with that. But at the same time I think he’s worried about something.
I’ve told him I’m not going anywhere. I don’t know how to prove to him that I’m sticking around. I don’t know how to prove to him that I love him more than anything. I know he’d love it if I got my libido back. We’ve tried the whole route of letting him give me orgasms whether I want them or not. It just makes me feel bad. Any time he brings it up I feel bad that he feels like he’s failing me somehow. So then we both feel bad.
We’d both rather feel good. So from now on, Lion, don’t worry about making me feel good. If that what’s going on right now, knock it off! I’m fine. We’re fine.
A Lasting Impression
As Mrs. Lion wrote, our weekend was interrupted by 13 hours of power outage. It’s been a while since we had an electrical interruption. Since our house is 100% electric, losing power is a big deal. We have a generator powerful enough to keep our refrigerator and freezers going with enough left over for assorted lights and satellite TV. Within about half an hour we had strung out the extension cords and got things we needed running.
Needless to say, this stopped us from playing on Saturday. Sunday found us cleaning up the cords and fixing a leak in the ice maker water line. Apparently moving the refrigerator out to unplug it from the wall and attach it to the generator, loosened a connector to the water line. We clamped the leak off and on Sunday bought new tubing and connectors and fixed it.
Saturday night, Mrs. Lion unlocked me and let me remain wild. She said that the power failure was tiring enough without me having to deal with the cage. I’m grateful for that. I’m writing this Sunday afternoon. I know Mrs. Lion is hurting from our adventures on Saturday. I’m not sure anything other than locking me back up will happen tonight.
It was really good to be with Mrs. Lion last night. Aside from all the work she did to get us going during the blackout, I love her company. We managed to snuggle, hold hands, and enjoy each other’s company despite the challenges. We are completely comfortable with each other. That comfort may have a lot to do with how cautiously we approach FLR with discipline.
It’s no real challenge for us to play. Mrs. Lion knows how much I like it and over the years has learned she can safely go quite far in administering sensation. In fact, all those years of play practice is one reason she is so good at punishing me. She’s not afraid to paddle me as hard and as long as she wants. She’s learned I can take it.
What’s far more challenging is integrating discipline into our relationship. I don’t think either of us had a good idea of what would happen when Mrs. Lion began seriously enforcing her will. Would I just get angry and growl? Would I pull away from her? What would happen to us?
It’s a big test of our trust and love for one another. It’s no big deal to punish me for breaking a rule. In a way, it’s just a different kind of scene. We had negotiated in a sense. There was no real threat to us. If I broke a rule, it didn’t hurt Mrs. Lion. I agreed to the consequences, and accepted them. As I wrote the other day, when it came to punishing me for upsetting her, the deal changed.
I have to admit that I was really angry when she took out her paddle and told me that she was tired of me telling her what she was doing wrong. I felt justified and right. I was being punished for being right! I submitted to her spanking. When she was done, the sun didn’t immediately come out. She was still feeling angry and so was I. Mrs. Lion let the feelings out and let me know she was angry. That was something I told her (and myself) I wanted. Now that it happened, I wasn’t so sure.
It didn’t take long for me to remember that this was exactly what I wanted. I also realized that it didn’t matter if I believed I was in the right. If my actions upset Mrs. Lion, she was going to make me feel her displeasure in a physical way. I have no doubt that if I chose to argue further, her paddle would have come out again. At least, I hope that would have been the result.
I realized that we had crossed a new line. I was being held accountable for upsetting her. I also understood that she took a very big risk when she punished me. Her instinct is to avoid making waves. Spanking me for upsetting her was risky and counterintuitive. For the first time, she decided to confront me and punish me without knowing how I would respond.
I wonder if this is a one-time thing. I also wonder if I hope it is. I suppose that she can measure her success by this reaction. She made an impression on me; one much more powerful than she may realize. I wonder how knowing this will make her feel.
Who Turned Out the Lights?
In the midst of a somewhat small storm a tree in the neighborhood decided to split. It fell on the power lines and across the road. No Bueno! Power was out from a little after 11 am Saturday to a little after 1 am on Sunday. Good thing we have a generator! We scurried around hooking up extension cords for the freezer, refrigerator, a lamp and Lion’s beloved TV. Luckily the temperature outside was not too bad. We only needed our propane heater on low to keep the house warm.
The problem with scurrying around to get things going and then worrying about how long the power would really be out is that it takes a lot out of you. We were pooped! And then when the power came back we had to do everything in reverse. It was not conducive to playing.
Lion requested that we not play on Friday night. We didn’t play last night. I’m still pretty sore from all the climbing under, over and around during the power failure. I’m not sure we’ll play tonight. I’d planned on tying Lion’s balls rather than have him select from the Box O’Fun. I thought it would be a little more fun for both of us. It’s never a problem when he doesn’t want to play. I rarely have my heart set on playing even when I have a particular idea. We can always do it the next time we play.
I moved sling day to the weekend but it doesn’t look like we’ll be doing it this weekend either. Yesterday was a bust and I’m not sure we feel like trekking downstairs again after so much excitement yesterday. It doesn’t take much to exhaust us. Lion is busy with a report for work and I’m doing the laundry. We’ll see how we feel later. I did unlock Lion on Friday night and locked him away again before bedtime. Last night I unlocked him and then he decided he wasn’t as horny as he thought he was. I left him unlocked just because I figured neither of us needed the frustration of a caged Lion. He will be going back into the Jail Bird tonight.
